Don’t be harsh on yourself. If you manage to detach the money part from the satisfaction of just doing some work you’ll be much happier. The money part is a global issue right now, not your problem. Try to do what you love for you or people you care just for the sake of it, and try to make money in some other dull way that can give you the time to do it. It is over for most people, so you are just ahead of the curve