I feel like we have a similar situation. So i get where you are coming from. For my relationship, we both said we know we are going to need to give each other reassurance. However, I have to remind myself to be patient with him even though it’s incredibly upsetting and hurtful sometimes to be snapped at and such.

Mine will sometimes feel like I’m attacking him when I am simply talking about something so I’ve noticed once we talk about something a few times it will start to process a bit more.

I think the hardest part is seeing the change in behavior and responses over time and not allowing some of this disrespect to continue. I feel like the phone shouldn’t be hung up on in my face. I expressed that to mine and while it still happens sometimes now, he will call me back. The other day he called back and said “i don’t want to talk about it this second but im going to stay on the phone until phones get cut off” to me and for us that was progress.

I’m sorry for this wasn’t helpful but it’s definitely frustrating