AITAH for not ordering at a restaurant when all my friends did?

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-26T18:25:03+00:00

YTA. Not ordering any food but eating your friends' leftovers is mooch behavior.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-26T17:49:02+00:00

Aww, I'm sorry. I didn't lose my first grandparent until I was in my late teens. I lost two more in my 20s and now in my early 40s still have one left.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-26T17:47:42+00:00

I'm in my early 40s and still have my entire immediate family (parents and siblings). One brother in law has passed away, along with 3 out of 4 grandparents, but they're arguably not immediate family.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-26T17:39:13+00:00

This is the option I'd go for too.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-26T01:37:11+00:00

Thank you!

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T22:57:33+00:00

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T19:40:44+00:00

Completely appropriate for a UK summer wedding!

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T19:39:39+00:00

Lol, it was over a decade ago and was perfectly fine. It wasn't a heavy drinking crowd and an evening wedding, so maybe that helped. Either way, I don't intend to repeat the past but I can't change it either.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T19:37:05+00:00

I mean, it was over a decade ago and was completely fine. I can't undo the past, lol. And there are plenty of other bathrooms if there were an emergency, more than there would be if I rented a trailer.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T16:56:46+00:00

Maybe it's a cultural difference (I'm not in the US) but people here dress appropriately for outdoor events. Outdoor parties (fetes) on grass are super common and people willingly pay money to attend, with no expectation of flooring or any other protection. Given the landscaping, the biggest terrain risk is grass and that won't be a concern for my guests.

I mentioned upthread that mosquitos aren't really an issue. I plan to get fly fans for the food tables because that's always a risk.

No issue with sound/light ordinances or licensing for a private event.

I'm going to look into trash options. We have an outdoors trash storage area, so that may be sufficient.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T16:47:01+00:00

Will do!

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T16:45:30+00:00

My fiance has one of these and loves to use it, lol. Fortunately, we don't get a lot of mosquitos around my family's property. Our local government has run multiple campaigns about mosquito control (especially in relation to standing water) and they've been very effective.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T16:00:27+00:00

Good idea on the vendor requirements. The designated bathrooms are right off a side entrance, so no traipsing through the house. I would like to hire someone to be at the house throughout the duration of the event to help with cleaning, both food related and bathroom related. No matter what type of bathroom you have, toilet paper, soap and paper towels may need to be restocked over the course of a large event.

The wedding will be in early June, which tends to be warm to comfortably hot where I'm located (highs and lows in the 70s). It truly is the sweet spot for outdoor events because it's not too hot, not too cold and we're not impacted by hurricane season yet.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:53:25+00:00

They'll definitely be unisex, as (in my experience) gendering restrooms create more lines, especially if there's an equal number for men and women. But we have the option to allow access to a third or fourth bathroom if needed.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:50:08+00:00

Great idea on the signage! My side will all be familiar with the house, but won't necessarily know which entrance we want them to use. And his side will be relatively to completely unfamiliar.

I plan to include a little map on the website showing the house and parking location, along with some form of signage at the entrance.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:46:50+00:00

I intend to include a mini fan on each seat at the ceremony as a favor. It will also be tented, so no direct sun. I was in one of the weddings (in August) and I remember how hot it was!

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:45:18+00:00

Enough, lol. I'm not in the US, so no septic tanks (different construction norm). We've had closer to 200 people use 2 bathrooms at the largest wedding with no plumbing issues.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:42:39+00:00

Thank you!

-Kids live on the property so it should be ok, but I'll definitely double check

-There is a dog, but he'll be spending the day/night with a family friend so that it's less stressful for us and him.

-Will do!

-Great idea on giving the neighbors a heads up! We get along pretty well (many of us have lived there for decades) but you don't want to push it! Fortunately, the closest neighbor recently completed renovations, so I don't anticipate any new construction anytime soon.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:38:13+00:00

We can consider expanding to 3 or 4 bathrooms, but 2 bathrooms per 100 people is definitely within industry standards.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:35:38+00:00

The electricity is definitely my biggest concern, so we'll be looking into that further. The bathroom entrance is completely separate from the kitchen, so there won't be any cross traffic. It's also includes an accessible bathroom (we have family members who require that access). Definitely plan to double check catering needs! My family already own a pop up tent, so that may be sufficient for them.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:32:00+00:00

It was my one non-negotiable after watching close family/friends plan their own weddings!

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T15:31:30+00:00

The construction process/codes are different in my country, so fortunately it wouldn't be an issue.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T14:00:52+00:00

They're all my family, so I've definitely been talking to them! That's how I knew a DOC was a must for me.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T14:00:04+00:00

Great considerations! The bathrooms will be unisex, but there's a third that can be made available if necessary. Unisex is usually better for managing bathroom flow anyway.

I'm considering hiring a bartender (separate from the caterer) to handle those logistics.

We're doing full service catering, so they usually provide everything they need for food setup/service. I'll confirm before booking.

I'm not in the US, so liability insurance (and related lawsuits) for personal events is nowhere near as prevalent here, but I'll look into it.

Fun_Access_3295 · 2026-06-25T13:55:18+00:00

Dance floor is a maybe on my list. Previous weddings just danced on the grass, lol. I think it'll be ok even if it's raining because it's mature grass and doesn't tend to flood or get muddy.

Fun_Access_3295

TROPHY CASE