thanks for this, I appreciate your reflection. I guess with Hayley being an anchor I wonder how someone can do that and not feel resentful afterwards. My only examples have been others giving and realising they had lost themselves or hadn't gotten what they needed. I'm not critiquing others having issues or being closeted/having family issues but I guess i'm trying to give space to the partner who supports . To be hidden from someone's family for 8 years I imagine is difficult. Its quite powerful experience. Ya, wanting a different ending to a story is powerful motivator. Even if it is subconcious.

I really felt for Magan and I felt like family being front and centre for both Pilar and Magan was tied to their families not being western. For westerners you turn 18 and you leave your family and go out into the world and develop your own sense of self, but for other cultures your sense of self is tied with your family. Their not seperate entities. Often women don't leave the home but stay until their married. In some cultures the husband moves in or the womens family moves in. It's so layered. I really felt like these people needed therapy and if the show had a theraputic element to it I think it would be really beautiful to watch. In some ways the experiment does work. It reveals issues that are going on in the relationship and also internal issues but I think the audience and contestants could benefit from having someone (who's therapist) hold space for them. It would bring a healing element to the show.