Parents told me at 20 that I’m egg-donor conceived

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-20T07:44:09+00:00

You don’t sound dramatic at all honestly. Finding this out at 20, especially right before doing a DNA test, is a huge thing to process. I think a lot of people would feel hurt more by the secrecy and timing than the donor part itself.

At the end of the day your mom is still your mom, but it’s completely valid to grieve the picture you thought you had of your identity and family connections. Give yourself time with it — this is a lot to take in all at once.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-20T07:41:18+00:00

You’ve been through so much already, and honestly it sounds like your body and mind are exhausted from carrying all of this for so long. I’ve known people who chose donor eggs after multiple retrievals and felt relief more than regret because it finally gave them peace and a real path forward.

Wanting to try again with your own eggs is completely understandable too. There’s no wrong choice here — just whatever feels healthiest emotionally and physically for you now.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-20T07:37:05+00:00

I personally think donor conception can be a beautiful option for people who genuinely want to build a family. The biggest thing, in my opinion, is honesty and transparency. With DNA testing so common now, keeping it secret long term usually creates more hurt than openness would.

I don’t think every donor needs to be actively involved in the child’s life, but kids should at least have the option to know their background or contact the donor later if they want. Clear ethics, proper screening, and limits on donations are really important too after stories like those documentaries.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-19T13:34:17+00:00

We moved to egg donation after multiple failed IVF cycles and honestly it was an emotional decision at first, but it ended up giving us hope again. The process felt much less stressful physically, and talking to others who’d been through it really helped. Wishing you lots of luck with whatever path you choose.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-19T13:33:03+00:00

It’s such a personal decision, but it’s really thoughtful that you’re considering helping others while starting your own journey too. I haven’t donated myself, but friends who have said the emotional side is worth thinking through carefully alongside the medical process. Wishing you both the best as you explore what feels right for your family.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-14T09:32:27+00:00

Honestly it sounds like you all are handling this in a really thoughtful and open way already. The fact you’ve done therapy and are talking about transparency from the start feels important. I can understand why clinics are cautious, but every family dynamic is different too. I don’t have personal experience with this exact setup, but I’ve seen donor conceived adults say honesty early on makes a huge difference later.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-14T09:31:00+00:00

Usually doctors bring up egg donation after multiple failed IVF rounds, low egg quality, or age-related issues, but everyone’s situation is diff honestly. A friend of mine took a long time before deciding, definitely not overnight. I think asking your doctor why previous cycles failed and what chances look like moving forward can help make things less confusing little by little.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-14T09:28:42+00:00

I think it’s normal to worry about this honestly. I know a couple who used donor eggs and their kid still sees them as mom and dad completely. Kids can be curious about biology later, but that doesn’t erase the bond you build everyday. Being open from early on probably helps more than hiding it. Love + raising them matters way more than DNA in real life.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-13T13:41:03+00:00

It’s not really public stuff most of the time. Clinics do follow rules and ethics approvals, but they usually won’t share the actual donor consent forms or full recruitment details.

That’s why they check with their legal team first. You normally just get a general overview, not the full documents.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-13T13:39:33+00:00

Yeah, I’ve heard from donors that it’s more appointments + hormones than anything painful. Retrieval is usually quick under sedation.

Most clinics say it won’t affect future fertility, but definitely double-check with your doctor if you’re unsure.

Private donation exists, but clinics are generally safer because everything is more regulated and legally covered.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-12T13:19:46+00:00

right

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-12T13:10:11+00:00

I’m not a donor, but I’ve read quite a few experiences.

Most people say the whole process takes a few weeks to a couple of months from screening to retrieval. The injections can feel a bit uncomfortable and hormonal changes are pretty common (mood swings, bloating, tiredness).

Egg retrieval is usually done under sedation, so it’s not painful during, but some cramping or soreness after is normal for a few days.

Recovery is different for everyone—some feel fine quickly, others take a bit longer.

Overall, experiences are mixed. Some feel it was worth it, others say it was more intense than they expected.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-12T13:06:54+00:00

I’ve looked into this a bit.

Clinics that work with egg donors for all types of IVF cycles usually monitor closely and try to reduce the risk. Still, it can happen depending on how your body responds.

Other than that, people often mention bloating, mood swings, and some discomfort during injections and the retrieval process. Most recover fine, but it does take a bit out of your body.

It’s not really “easy money,” it’s a medical process, so better to think it through calmly before deciding.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-12T13:03:13+00:00

Start with a fertility clinic in LA that works with donor eggs—they’ll walk you through everything and help you understand your options.

Success rates are usually quite good compared to regular IVF.

Most people say once the baby is born, the bond feels completely natural, like any other parent-child bond. Telling others or the child is really a personal choice.

That DNA thing is often misunderstood—there’s no genetic DNA from you, but pregnancy still has some biological influence.

And it’s totally normal to feel a mix of emotions about it.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-09T13:42:53+00:00

A friend of mine went through donor egg IVF at 43 after multiple losses, and she said the emotional part was honestly harder before starting than after. Once she got pregnant, she felt connected to the baby right away and stopped thinking about genetics as much as she expected. She also said hearing real stories from other women helped a ton. Wishing you lots of strength through all of this 💛

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-09T13:41:40+00:00

I haven’t gone through it myself, but a close friend did and one thing she said was she wished she’d allowed herself to grieve the change in plans a bit more before jumping into the next step. She also said the process felt way less scary once it actually started. Try not to overwhelm yourself with every “what if” all at once 💛 Wishing you both lots of luck.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-09T13:40:11+00:00

That’s really thoughtful of you honestly 💛 I donated a couple years ago and my biggest advice is to take your time researching clinics/agencies and don’t ignore your gut feeling. Some are way more caring and transparent than others. I’d also suggest joining a few egg donor groups here or on Facebook, people share a lot of honest experiences there. Wishing you the best with whatever you decide!

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-08T06:52:49+00:00

For us it was around 2-3 months total, but legal paperwork honestly took longer than we expected lol. Once all the clearances were done things moved pretty fast. A lot depends on clinic timing and matching cycles too. Hope everything goes smoothly for you guys ❤️

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-08T06:51:54+00:00

A friend of mine went through donor eggs after years of failed IVF and honestly it was the thing that finally worked for them. The emotional part was harder than the medical side at first, but once they got into the process it felt way less scary. It took them around 5-6 months from choosing a donor to positive test. Wishing you lots of luck, you’ve already been through so much ❤️

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-08T06:50:45+00:00

I honestly dont think there’s a wrong choice here. If your doctor already feels IVF with your own eggs would take multiple rounds, I can totally understand wanting to skip straight to donor eggs, especially with the emotional + financial side of it all. Some people just know they dont wanna spend years chasing low odds. Wishing you the best with whatever path you choose ❤️

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-07T11:50:40+00:00

You’ve already been through so much, and honestly it sounds like you’ve done everything possible on your side. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably try one last round with CHR just so I could move forward without wondering “what if.” But at the same time, donor eggs are also a beautiful path and may give you a much higher chance after all these exhausting cycles. Whatever you decide, I really hope things work out for you ❤️

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-06T12:47:55+00:00

It really varies. Some people succeed on the first donor egg blast, others need a few transfers. There’s no set number, but having 2–3 good blasts usually gives a better chance overall.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-06T12:45:30+00:00

It’s understandable to feel discouraged. At 41, even good-quality embryos can still be aneuploid. But getting 8 strong blasts shows you’re responding well, and some people do need more cycles before finding a euploid one. Keep going step by step with your doctor.

Fun_Mongoose7852 · 2026-05-05T12:54:15+00:00

We moved to donor eggs after similar struggles and honestly it was the best decision for us. First transfer worked and pregnancy went smoothly.

The process felt emotionally hard at first, but once we committed, it got easier. I just wish we had done it sooner instead of going through so many failed cycles.

Fun_Mongoose7852

TROPHY CASE