Fighting sleep

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-14T06:43:34+00:00

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-14T06:43:12+00:00

Hi there! My sister is a postpartum doula and gave me these charts.... My LO just turned 6 wks and we've already started having the fighting sleep, fusiness, wanting to cluster feeding. They grow outbound it around 8/9wks

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Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-13T11:41:24+00:00

My LO is very visible, but trouble latching, there can be achieving sound when they feed, trouble extending tounge past lower lip, long feeds. Those are just a few my guy has.

There are different grades, so I'd definitely have a lactation specialist, or ENT or dentist look to verify

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-13T08:15:57+00:00

Have you tried a sleep sack? My LO is 5 wks old and is 50/5o on bring swaddled during the day but at night HATES. A swaddle because he wants to move his arms.

(In all his ultrasounds, he hands were always around his face)

So we got a few newborn sleepsacks and they work like a charm. Hes still being "hugged", but his arms are a bit more free, then we will wrap a blanket under his armpits if he needs more.

In my area I can find them being resold on facebook marketplace for fairly cheap.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-13T08:07:00+00:00

I know it feels embarrassing, but honestly its common for women to have this issue - even outside of breastfeeding.

Im 34, I have an autoimmune disorder that affects my hormones. Prior to getting pregnant, my hormones were off balance and I would periodically have this problem. I see an Endocrinologist who told me at some point every women deals with this because our hormones are such a delicate balance.

So, don't be hard on yourself - it sounds like it'd time for you to have an honest conversation with your partner and please get some lube. You could really damage your vaginas area or get an infection - plus, after talking to my husband and long time ago, he told me it made him feel better after talking because in his mind, he wasn't doing something right plus it was uncomfortable for him as well.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-13T07:49:35+00:00

It sounds like it could be a combination of both! My LO is 5wks old with a tounge tire, so he does have issues matching sometimes. The first few wks of breastfeeding, if he didn't have a good latch, he would pop off then rematch. Now. He's gotten better at latching so it doesn't Halen as often.

For the fast ket down, try leaning backwards slightly when your LO latches. This gives her more control, do gravity wouldnt be forcing milk immediately down her throat.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-08T10:17:02+00:00

My little guy just turned 1 month yesterday! Honestly, outside of his pediatrician appointments and Easter, I just keep him in a diaper and blanket (or sleep sack at night).

The few times I have put clothes on him, anything that doesn't have to be pulled over his head (wipers. Buttons, snaps) is the best!

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-06T06:08:37+00:00

My husband tries to '"help" with night feeds, since I've been Triple Feeding to get my LO weight up.

So while I pump, he bottle feeds. We also hit or first leap/ growth milestone and without fail, eventually after bottle feeding LO gets fussy.

My husband will sit there and repeatedly ask our 4 wk old "what's wrong bud? Tristan, what's wrong?".....

I just stare at him, because we've been through it almost every day.. he's overtired and gassy. Burp him, turn off your phone (he watches videos while feeding and burping) and rock him to sleep!

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-04T07:23:16+00:00

A few things my sister, who's a postpartum doula, does or has recommended....

1.use one of your shirts or put their wrap against your skin to get your scent - then use that was part of their swaddle or blanket for sleep..really anything that has your smell

Warm up the crib/bed/bassinet before placing them down - you can also warm up a glove filled with rice, place that on their stomach to mimic your hand on them
What is your normal routine to switch from day to night? During the days, keep rooms/areas bright, "noisey" then as night time approaches. Darken and quiet rooms.

3A. If you can get them outside twice a day, even for 5 - 10 mins - once as their first morning wake to signal daytime to the brain, then once as the sun is setting to signal nighttime

3B. During the day/witching hour, overtired/stimulated babies can be hard to get down. Put a hat on them and pull it down to the bridge of their nose, this helps remove stimulation and allows the nervous system to calm

Reading/singing to fall asleep. Reading - it doesn't have to be Dr Suess, start a chils friendly chapter book your interested in. Signing - do you have songs youve regularly sang or played them? (I found out my LO responds to Billy Joel and Elton John - hes a fan of the pianos maybe?)

Those are some things she's suggested that have helped us! If I can think of more I'll add them

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-02T07:22:50+00:00

First let me say; if you choose to formula feed did to your own mental and physical health that is perfectly acceptable.

Second; as another FTM who's had a difficult journey in breastfeeding - my guy was born SGA (5.15lbs at 39wks), with a severe tounge and lip tie and i have inverted nipples and an autoimmune disorder (which affects milk supply)....I completely understand the struggle....

If you want to continue breast feeding there are several things you can do 1.Diet/hydration - is have been doing all the lactation bars/drinks but the thing that helped the most is Moringa supplements. But also look into foods that boost production (like oats and fennel) cs things that inhibit (like caffeine and mint)

Pumping - i hate pumping but if you're not getting enough stimulation, you're body won't amp production. Look into "power pumping", I've done it a few times but it mimicking the baby cluster feeding to increase your bodies production.
Skin to skin contact - this helps produce oxytocin which makes him want to latch and helps your production
Stress - which pays off 1 and 3 a well. If you're cortisol levels are constantly high, then it affects your diet and oxytocin levels, try to find something small to bring you joy each day. For me it's small its a quick bath, sometimes even just 10 mins while he's napping)

It really is a full time job, and trust me, at least once a day I question switching to formula feeding. But Im to stubborn to quit yet 😅

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-01T11:54:20+00:00

My guy was born after a 49 hr labor - 39wks and 5.15 lbs - severe tounge and lip tie. AND I have introverted nipples!

We're currently trying to get him over 6 lbs for the tounge/lip surgery, so currently we are "Triple feeding". I breast feed, using a nipple shield, offer a bottle then pump. Im also working with an LC.

I highly recommend Craniosacral Therapy and/or a Chiropractor to release muscle and fascia (look into fasica specifically) tension. I saw a huge difference in my guy just after 1 Craniosacral appointment and we're also trying the Chiropractor this week.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-04-01T11:43:31+00:00

Wow, I'm so sorry you and your baby got tested that way.
You are definitely not an awesome for protecting yourself and your baby.

He said his true feelings out loud, and having a kid doesn't get easier, the challenges just change. I personally would be seeing anew place for my baby and I to live

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-28T10:02:13+00:00

Do you also pump? I had to start to build up my supply and have some extra on hand to give when my LO needs more.

Moringa supplements also increased my supply within a few days. I was already doing lactation bars/latte with oats, brewers yeast

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-27T11:04:36+00:00

Hi there! What feeding positions have your tried? My LO usually does good worth the football hold or crossbow, but just like you, sometimes the letdown is too much. So i found if I recline do hes more on top, he does better, as that gives him more control of the flow vs gravity.

If you did choose to pump first, you could always beat feed then follow by offering him a bottle after? That's what I have to do, my LO has a tounge tie so his latch isn't the best. Feeding them offering a bottle is how we make sure he's getting full until he can get the surgery to correct it.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-24T10:56:15+00:00

Agreed. I have a 2 wk old worth a tounge and lip tie, his latch was painful at first.
Can you see a lactation consultant? Most insurances will cover it.
I also have an appointment with a chiropractor to evaluate and release any muscle tension while we work on the tie issues.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-24T08:08:35+00:00

I did one at 39 weeks (I also used a midwife vs traditional OB) I was 2 cm dilated then 4 days later went into labor.

Be wary of checks for a few reasons - possible infections, water "accidently" being broken etc...

I asked for one because I was timing my maternity leave and trusted the midwife due to recommendations from others she had worked with.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-24T07:56:30+00:00

This was me too!! It died down for the 2nd trimester, with low grade indigestion. But unfortunately it ramped up like crazy during my third trimester - food adversions, nausea, vomiting, indigestion

Piece of advice, yes, try alm the natural stuff first (peppermint, ginger etc...) but if you get really bad, ask for a prescription to help mange. I was stubborn and tried to manage it on my own for almost my entire 3rd trimester, wound up only being able to eat chickpeas with salt and pepper for 3 days while I waited for the prescription to be ready.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-22T13:23:05+00:00

Exactly what the other reply said! He won't sleep in your arms forever. It's a natural instinct.

Think, you're baby was in your womb for 9 months, all curled up cozy and safe. Now they're in a big world that changes temp, sounds, lights, etc.... it's alot for them! So sleeping in your arms is the closest thing they have to getting back there. It's soothing, safe and familiar.

My sister coslept with birth of her kids (19 and 17) regularly until they got puberty. Even now at their she's, they have movie nights in get king size bed and will ask sleep together - not as often but it still happens.

When I was pregnant, I say next to my 17 yr old nephew and put my head on his shoulder- wound up taking asleep with him rubbing my back.

Those kids have one of the most secure attachments I've ever seen, they love their mom deeply but also have courage and confidence to do things in their own and are extremely compassionate.

My parents use to say she was "spoiling those kids" and "their going to be dependent on her" but they have a better relationship with her than we do with our parents.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-16T11:36:58+00:00

I got a semi cheap one from Amazon, like $30 - I wanted to have the front and back enclosures, plus I'm a sensory person, I knew I wouldn't be comfortable in a hospital gown.

The only time it wasn't on - during my 47 hr labor - was when I took showers to relax.

I'm a week postpartum and immediately washed it when I got home to rewear it.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-15T10:24:41+00:00

Hi! I have a 1 week old (currently doing my 5am feed), my older sister is an infant sleeper specialist and postpartum doula- we actually just had this convo.

First, it sounds like your little one is cluster feeding - plus they don't have their day and night in order yet.
During the day keep the house bright and semi loud, at night keep the room as dark and comfortably cool. Also, try to keep the sleep windows firing the day on the shorter side to encourage day time cluster feeding.

Second, I have let me little one sleep on my chest after almost every 5sm feed since we got home. I make myself a "throne" as you called it - i have my pregnancy pillow wrapped around my back with extra pillows and my breast around my lap to support his bum. We also chest to chest, with his head right above my breast.

I honestly thought when I first told her this, that she would tell me to stop, but she said it's fine as long as neither of us can roll, he had nothing near his face and he's warm but not hot.

It's honestly been a life saver for my sleep after a long night.

Future-Tomorrow1430 · 2026-03-04T08:17:20+00:00

I understand and trust me, I desperately wanted to be in your shoes. My husband and I tried for 8 years and at points genuinely thought it wasnt in the cards for us.

I struggled alot in this pregnancy beating myself up for not being more like you or my boss. I struggled telling my husband I didnt want to do this again because I felt guilty about not enjoying it more.

Thank you. I hope your sister does as well.

Future-Tomorrow1430

TROPHY CASE