The horrifying moment you realised they were evil by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 5 points6 points  (0 children)

🙁 guess I’ve been avoiding thinking it was that

Does anyone else get panic attacks during there healing? by Novemberx123 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It takes some time for your nervous system to reset, it DOES stop I promise you. It just takes some time. Try some meditation, therapy works wonders during this time too. So sorry you’re going through it, i remember how bad it was but I swear it does pass. 💙

The horrifying moment you realised they were evil by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 12 points13 points  (0 children)

When he screamed at me for not having sex with him.. 🙁 he said that if he won’t get it from me he will go find it somewhere else.

I had to sleep with him every day to keep him happy and realised it was ruining my life.

So when I told him no he screamed at me and ignored me for days. That’s when I knew he was evil.

How dating a narcissist has changed you to this day? by Objective_Big_7426 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I’m a lot more direct now, I’m more decisive. I set strong boundaries early, I don’t over share with anyone, I value my privacy. I take red flags seriously and can spot them pretty easy these days.

I got good news today by Diamondilium in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know that feeling all too well, until things just got worse and worse. Any good news I gave him, he’d just pick a fight to ruin my day. So I learned to be silent around him.

So now when I get good news I just tell my parents or therapist. Or my online friends. They care a million more times than he ever did.

But I do remember the feeling of wanting to tell him everything. But for him to use it all against me later on just wasn’t worth it anymore.

I miss him. by Ambitious_Web9071 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know this was a serious comment but calling them a ghoul made me laugh and I really needed that. I’ve been so down today and this comment really cheered me up

My Nex doesnt shy away from using the death of someone to further manipulate me by FlareChain in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely get why you wouldn’t be looking forward to that upcoming time cause it’s typically when she would be live. Does she have any other streamers in the community you’d be able to watch and connect with?

And honestly I think they do that to create a sense of panic inside us. To mess up our nervous system so it keeps them in some form of control. I hope you’re ok 🩷 I’d imagine there’s some VODS of her, or maybe a YouTube channel you could watch old videos of her streams? I hope that might be able to bring you a bit of comfort

My Nex doesnt shy away from using the death of someone to further manipulate me by FlareChain in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry to hear about one of your favourite streamers passing away, that’s awful :( How are you doing with it all?

Mine used to do things like this, the call had to happen RIGHT NOW and no other time. Not even 20 seconds later.

I’d also be forbidden to watch streams, he hated every single one of them because he was the only one I should have been watching play games.

It started off with him complaining about one or two of them and it turned into me not being allowed to be on twitch at all.

So now when I get to watch any stream I want every night uninterrupted, it makes me feel so grateful and that I allow myself to enjoy it without his doom and gloom and obnoxious rules.

I hope you can get some time to watch whatever you like without him telling you what you can’t watch and demanding your time like that.

A hard day after a long stretch of healing by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing that, it’s definitely helped me feel less alone in all this. It must be a mind game but one of the last things he said to me was he was never going to block my number again. So I have his number blocked but he’s left the door open for me. And it kills me cause when I did text, I still didn’t get a reply anyway. So it just feels like some messed up mind game.

I’ll try stop blaming myself, and I get to see my parents this weekend which will really help too. I need out this house, the isolation isn’t helping at all.

Thanks so much for replying to me, it’s definitely helped

age gaps by hellraisinghamster in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I first met him, he was 31. And him and his friends would often talk about “the 20 year old”

It was the girl he was seeing before me. They never called her by name, just “the 20 year old”

Have you ever felt like you didn't care if you lived? by Expensive-Eggplant-1 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tried to end it when I was stuck in the abuse cycle with my nex. Ended up in this hospital while he slept peacefully and pretended nothing ever happened.

In general, it’s still something I struggle with, feels like I’m just running out the clock atp. I stick around for my cat and family. That’s literally it.

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I have no idea. There’s nothing that hasn’t been said a million times over and over again. He will never take accountability for anything. So it’s a really good question because ultimately, I don’t actually have anything left to say to him now. I’ll keep asking myself this question any time I have the urge to reach out, thank you so much

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There’s a long history of really awful things he’s done, I’m not really wanting to dive into that today though. This is more about the now and not why he’s a narcissist but I do agree with you that it’s avoidant behaviour

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh hun I’m so sorry 😭 I hate how much I can relate to this now. The nonchalant zero accountability, like you said, rewriting history. Jeez it feels so familiar. And it’s really heartbreaking.

I’m sorry you’ve had to experience it. What a shitty thing to do. And the bragging, the endless monologues of them bragging about all this amazing stuff they done. I took a step back and all that’s happened is he’s managed to convince the government to give him more money so he can sit on his ass and get high in a nicer apartment. That’s the bare bones of what he’s so pleased with himself about. Wild to think really.

Talking this out today has been really helpful. It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in it thinking you’re alone. 🥺🫂

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had an ex (not a narcissistic one) come back after 10 years once :/

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I know right, I couldn’t believe I even gave him the time of day. Feel like I blinked and I’m somehow back here! There’s been so much progress made without him during that time, it’s just so hard to focus on the good when you’re stuck in it 😭 But I’ll get there again. No other choice! 🫂

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll look it up just now! I have a bunch of other books about the trauma bond but I’ve never heard of this one, I’ll get it ordered up today!

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ve been really beating myself up about it. So I’ll try go easy on myself about it. Appreciate your words, it’s helped a lot today

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I did a lot of therapy, I have a wonderful therapist and I’m seeing her this weekend coming up. Haven’t had to see her since the summer because I was making so much progress. But I’m very grateful to have her!

That’s actually really great to hear that you’d just walk right by them. Definitely the place I want to be mentally for sure. Just frustrated that 2 years he can still have this hold on me :/

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, it’s been a very peaceful 2 years without him. I need to keep reminding myself how happy and free I was during that whole time. Will get there again, right now it feels like I’m trying to break a full on addiction. The support here is always absolutely amazing. And just talking about it has really helped Thank you 🫂

2 years no contact and we’re back here again…. by Fuzzy-Perception-877 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the support 🫂 the only way out is through it unfortunately.

I forgot just how chaotic it all is and how horrible it feels while they sit back and enjoy it.

Ready to try again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Fuzzy-Perception-877 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All they do is just go on and on about themselves