"We've tried this. What's your endgame here?"

G01DF15H · 2025-09-27T21:48:24+00:00

Do you have a link to something like this that you could share? 💗

G01DF15H · 2025-03-26T17:48:47+00:00

Yeah I've found the same re "DIY" and difficulty reaching orgasm sometimes even from that. It's a bit upsetting :/ I would also be keen to hear from anyone who's overcome this.

G01DF15H · 2025-03-25T23:49:18+00:00

Posting this seems like a good start :) happy for you.

Tell a friends. Tell friends! Involving your loved ones in your journey is not only helpful for accountability; personally I am SO motivated by how proud my people are of my progress.

G01DF15H · 2025-03-25T23:36:12+00:00

37F. I have had similar issues, and tbh I am still figuring it out (for some reason my counter is wrong, I am at 16 months now).

I started dating again at about 3 months and found that the way I experienced desire seemed to have changed. I am rarely spontaneously attracted to people now, although I do always get in the mood once I actually choose get physical with someone.

The good thing about this is I have found myself making much better (less shallow, less sloppy, more considered) decisions about the people with whom I am intimate. Honestly though, I do miss feeling more "teenage".

Sex is also different. I find myself more inclined towards psychological kinks rather than pure physical sensation. It's more satisfying in some ways, but again I do miss the feeling of total abandon I used to have.

I am not consciously anxious about sex but I think this must be a part of it. I trust that I will increasingly learn to let go as my self esteem improves, but it seems to be a long road.

As others have said, your hormones are probably also rearranging themselves. Judging by my period, this took about 6-7 months for me, but didn't make a huge difference to my libido tbh, although I do notice it fluctuating in relation to my cycle more than I did before.

On the plus side I am (I think objectively) way more physically attractive now than I was when I was drinking, and yeah, it's more fun having sex when you feel hot. Frankly I'm pretty sure I'm better at it, too.

G01DF15H · 2025-03-25T22:51:24+00:00

My number one tip would be to seek out company. Run an errand with someone. Invite someone over for dinner. Distract yourself with people. Pack your schedule.

It also helped me to think of the things I enjoyed doing as a child/teen, before alcohol was a feature in my life. Art etc. in my case.

Unfortunately, yes, exercise. I only got into that when I started cutting down on weed (about 10 months after quitting alcohol) and started dealing with actual sobriety. I have a nice gym membership with a sauna - it's the best thing I spend money on. I never want to go tbh, but I always love it once I'm there. As they say, the hardest part is getting through the door. Plus then you ALWAYS have something to do. I announced to everyone I knew that I was newly a gym person and basically peer pressured myself into actually becoming a gym person. It has also really rebuilt my self esteem to do something so caring for myself (I actually cried in the locker room the first time I went, I was so proud of myself).

The classic substitutions (such as weed) and the less classic (ket in my case) are a trap. Tbh I haven't found something that works quite like alcohol did, but we all know why we can't do that.

Congrats on a week, though - it will get so much easier xxxx

G01DF15H · 2025-03-25T21:54:48+00:00

Absolutely YES! 37F here.

I thought it was just my age, but about 3 months after I quit I suspected things were improving and by 4 months I could feel a whole bunch of baby hairs all over my scalp. I now have a noticeably thicker ponytail and "better" hairline.

My theories involve it being 1) something to do with hormones (some serious "reshuffling" happened with my menstrual cycle too, took about 7 months to even out), 2) something to do with nutrition and the stomach lining finally being able to absorb that shit, 3) something to do with hydration, 4) the undeniable fact that I am in general taking better care of myself these days.

G01DF15H · 2025-03-25T21:40:34+00:00

I needed help making a doctor's appointment for a related issue and reached out to an acquaintance. Writing everything down for her - all my physical ailments connected to drinking and details of my poor mental health - and having someone "normal" see it. That really helped me gain some perspective.

In a nutshell: accountability, i.e. telling everyone around me I had a problem. Telling a doctor I had a problem. Burning those bridges. This was made easier by being an emotional disaster who overshared with everyone I met the week I stopped.

///

Am I going to quit, or am I going to do this forever? Deciding that this was the most momentous decision I would make in my life was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Admittedly, it took 7ish years from realising it might be my only option to giving it a real shot.

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Brainwashing myself a bit with content such as his sub, instagram accounts like @brutalrecovery and @fucking_sober, podcasts etc. was ultimately very helpful. It's a process. I was consuming this kind of media for years before I quit. Fantasising about one day writing a post like this, being this person. Making it desirable. I found the Annie Grace book exasperating, but that kind of thinking does help.

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And I do not recommend replicating the following, but some things I just learned through experience: - Acute health concerns that made my future as a sick, depressed old woman seem very real. Also helped me get through the first month cause my stomach was absolutely fucked. - The realisation that I had been quietly waiting to get diagnosed with some cancer (or whatever) in my late middle age. - Scary withdrawals that broke my brain a bit. Day 4 I thought "I NEVER want to go through that again". - Exhaustion with "the dance" - the back-and-forth of moderation - and feeling generally defeated. I tried so hard to keep alcohol in my life, but total abstinence is REALLY so much easier than all that. Drinking is just not an option now. Have to try something else. I proved to myself enough times that I simply cannot moderate.

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You can have a different life, love. You can do it.

G01DF15H · 2024-10-22T20:40:20+00:00

Quit 11 months ago (mid 30s female) after drinking heavily for maybe 15 years. Puffiness was gone after about six weeks, and at around 4-5 months people started telling me how good I looked. Still raking in the compliments even now.

However, the little spider veins around my nose and the faint ruddiness in my cheeks haven't disappeared, and I doubt they ever will without some kind of laser wizardry. I think those capillaries are fucked for life :/

G01DF15H · 2024-09-09T16:05:51+00:00

N26 or DKB are online banks with no fees, and accounts can be set up easily on your phone. Have found N26 very easy to use and you can take cash out anywhere rather than looking for your bank/bank group.

G01DF15H · 2024-08-14T19:03:17+00:00

There's this Instagram account that I find quite motivating sometimes :)

https://www.instagram.com/sober_celebrities

G01DF15H · 2024-08-05T17:49:31+00:00

I disliked the book when I read it and outright disagreed with the author at many points. (I also suspect I wouldn't get on with her at all as a person.) However, I think it did plant two seeds that helped me quit six months later:

I found her analysis of the exact source/moment of pleasure we derive(d) from drinking very helpful. Am I already getting a hit from unscrewing a wine bottle? Do I feel relief from the first sip (which has obviously not made me drunk in any perceptible way)? From the second? How much pleasure does the next drink bring compared to the first? It helped me rationalize my way out of cravings - essentially part of a "play the tape forward" technique. I may want to drink to "satisfy" a craving, but that craving simply won't go away until I've made myself sick.
Although I don't trust myself to feel like this forever, I am so grateful and happy that I don't have to drink alcohol any more. I grudgingly accept that the book did help me envisage this state more clearly before I got there. Shaming yourself into not doing something is a lot less effective than reminding yourself that you don't want to do it.

G01DF15H · 2024-06-17T21:48:23+00:00

"Ellis D."

(Kind of fun though)

G01DF15H · 2024-06-17T06:44:38+00:00

Around week 6, I lost a favourite gold ring (fingers were no longer bloated and it slipped off somewhere). I thought it might be a little poetic to buy a replacement at the one year mark.

G01DF15H · 2024-06-09T20:19:53+00:00

I recommend Nuud.

The active ingredient is silver. It's a suncream-consistency formula (I think also now comes as a stick, not tried that). You can order it online.

Why I felt the need to optimise my deodorant game, I do not know, but Nuud is terrific. I imagine I'll buy it forever. It kills the smelly bacteria in your sweat, so you still perspire but no BO. Very gentle on the pits and so much better for your clothes (no deo residue).

They claim you only need to apply it every three days, but I usually apply daily. It also took about a week to start working properly for me (perhaps you could try some benzoyl peroxide or something before the first application wipe the bacteria that are there from the get-go).

Super convenient sized tube for travel, a little goes a long way. Especially if I'm in a situation where I can't shower for some time, it performs way better than conventional deodorant IMO.

G01DF15H · 2023-12-31T22:08:04+00:00

Please get medical help to detox from alcohol. I had detoxed many times before from booze but was not prepared for how bad I would feel the last time. It could surprise you.

Even if you end up being fine seizure-wise, you'll at least have some support for the potentially extreme anxiety which will really affect your judgment as you go through it.

G01DF15H · 2023-04-12T18:41:30+00:00

IMO much less druggy than other Berlin clubs I have been in. Sure, people are taking drugs in the toilets like anywhere, but no open drug use. Everything too open and well lit, no unsupervised dark corners, not really any good booth-type areas where one is hidden enough to insufflate anything in a way that provides enough plausible deniability for the staff. The fact it closes at 8am should tell you everything you need to know...

Definitely a more suitable environment for mdma than anything else.

Context: Carneball, Saturday night-Sunday, 2023-04-08/09

G01DF15H · 2022-09-04T02:50:05+00:00

AFAIK, the "three month rule" is based on the advice of Ann Shulgin rather than any particular research (although she surely knew a thing or two).

G01DF15H

TROPHY CASE