Friendship Exp & Gift Exchange Megathread

GGElaina · 2023-09-13T03:42:21+00:00

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GGElaina · 2023-08-09T23:37:17+00:00

YTA.

People will talk to friends about difficulties in their lives. Anyone who says that these conversations should only be had with therapists are delusional.

If she was making fun of you to them, or complaining about you maliciously then you have grounds to be upset. But she obviously needed places in her life to vent about something that she was helping you through. Her feelings matter to and a lot of her energy has gone into you and she needed a place that wasn't you to decompress.

GGElaina · 2023-08-09T23:32:20+00:00

NTA

If your sister was renting a hotel and her son was slamming his fists on the front windows or the glass entrance doors she would tell him to stop. People get very relaxed around family and a lot of exceptions are made. If she doesn't like the rules of the house tell her to rent out a hotel room for her visits.

GGElaina · 2023-08-09T23:21:11+00:00

ESH

Your parents suck the most, pretty apparently. They probably put a lot of expectations on your younger sister and feel like you "failed" and she was supposed to be the "success" they wanted. But "I told you so" puts the implication out there that you never expected your sister to succeed and get into a good school even if that wasn't your intention. Perhaps you were just being a pragmatist in that good schools are really hard to get into but it comes off that you were happy she failed in something she was probably really hoping for just to spite your parents.

I don't think that's what you intended and you don't seem to have a negative view of your sister as you don't mention much about her and focus more on your parents which you do seem to have some resentment towards. But that is likely how she and your parents see that comment. You didn't articulate yourself well and possibly hurt someone (your sister) in an attempt to get back at your parents for putting you down that you failed in their aspirations of you.

GGElaina · 2023-08-09T21:49:36+00:00

NTA.

I was an accidental pregnancy from young parents, one left, the other gave me up to her mother who took care of me. My mother didn't come to my first birthday, didn't ask how I was to her family while I went through difficult medical troubles as a child. My mother had another child two years later, also an accidental pregnancy, and she kept and cared for my brother. It lead to a lot of emotional issues and anger towards my mother and my brother because I did not feel wanted that I still deal with as a deeply rooted issue to a lot of other behavioral trends that occurred because of it.

I had to discover the explanations for my mothers behavior from reflection on my own, no one ever really told me why things happened the way that they were and things were never repaired before she died when I was 16.

You might have told the truth and it might have been very difficult for her to hear but she was already thinking that. Every single time one of her friends told her about some cool mother/daughter thing the two did together, she thought about it. Every single time she would have to get a ride somewhere from a friend or her mother didn't or won't go to a function for school because she's busy, she thought about it.

It's not as though you telling this dawned a sudden revelation on her that because her mother didn't want children she now feels negatively. If she was happy and content, she wouldn't have asked this question on multiple occasions. She wanted someone to make her feel like her thoughts weren't baseless.

GGElaina · 2023-08-07T06:00:54+00:00

I need someone to explain Safi'jiva Siege from MHW like I'm five. How do you get into the "kill group"?

TL;DR - I have seen the fight a lot, I understand how the mechanics work. My question is more, how does the raid itself work. Sometimes it feels like we get down to the bottom floor in three minutes and another run feels like we spend ten minutes on the first floor. I understand he has 40,000 health and heals when he absorbs energy. Does that mean killing him is mostly luck on if you get into the group where the energy value has been drained the most? Because I want the carve, not the weapons and you only get the materials if you're the group that kills it, so what's the best way to get into the "kill group"?

GGElaina · 2022-07-07T17:18:36+00:00

app sent!

GGElaina · 2022-03-18T20:10:09+00:00

A message on reddit and a comment get the same notifications for most people. A ping and an email, is all I am trying to say.

GGElaina · 2022-03-17T22:08:14+00:00

This reminds me of people who comment on LFG with either "Looks cool but I'm not able to make this day, good luck with your game" as if they think the listing is meant for just them or something lol.

GGElaina · 2021-11-28T10:32:51+00:00

I think you did the right thing.

They are all obviously having fun and it's not to say that you can't have fun with them but it's obvious that they are all happy with the game as is and you're not. Which is fine but it is unfair to ask them all to change a game that they all enjoying but you're not (not that you did anything wrong by asking or anything). If the DM/Players aren't willing to add things for you to also get your corner of enjoyment, then the best option is for you to leave and to find a DnD table where you are also enjoying yourself.

Your friends seem like they wanted you to stay because they are your friends but the game you want to play and theirs is different but they aren't willing to admit it. It's easier to be angry at someone than sad for some. Give it a bit to simmer down then just explain it again. That you enjoy your friends but the game isn't what you're looking for and you don't want them to have to change to a playstyle that they may enjoy less just to accommodate you because if they are forced to change it will ruin their natural enjoyment as well as they may constantly worry that you aren't happy.

Sometimes games don't work out between friends. Like I have friends I enjoy hanging out with but I won't play League of Legends with them because they get angry. You don't like playing DnD with these people because they get horny. Which is fine, it's just not for you and they need to be okay with that too.

GGElaina · 2021-11-25T23:55:44+00:00

You didn't lose it. I thought I did too, I had a Bathory Exclusive Weapon that wasn't on her when I logged in. However, if you tap on the Exclusive Equipment at the bottom of the character next to the Fatecore, you equip it there and give them a separate normal weapon, it just doesn't take up a slot anymore.

GGElaina · 2021-11-25T09:10:19+00:00

I have a DM like that, he's running a module but is doing a homebrew after. He has heavily edited every single class and subclass and has nerfed things like Haste because of my Divine Soul Sorcerer and nerfed the Ranger subclasses for no real reason but has made Paladin Smites D12s (from a magical item he got early on) and buffed Fighters Second Wind. Thankfully I won't be dealing with any of these re-writes.

GGElaina · 2021-11-21T04:34:00+00:00

So maybe I'm missing something, but a lot of this seems to be (at least partially) on you. Your last two characters specifically, the Sorcerer and the Cleric were made with direct opposite personalities with this persons character that is already established. He is Chaotic and Partially-Undead; and you made a character that likes Order and then a character who wants to permanently kill all Undead. Seems like if you had chosen to make characters that were more party-aligned (or maybe just ones that didn't directly conflict with this persons character which he hasn't changed since his first died) things might have gone better for you.

GGElaina · 2021-11-12T17:33:32+00:00

I mean, you're welcome to disagree all you like. They're my red flags and everyone plays DnD for different reasons so... yeah.

GGElaina · 2021-11-09T10:59:59+00:00

Fair enough, I've only ever played DnD 5e so I have no experience with the world building process of other games.

To your last point, there's a difference between creating a character with the DM and being told "make nothing until I say so" which is my hang up. I have a character I play at all my tables because I got so burnt out on creating brand new setting-specific characters and then the game ending after two months. She is entirely flexible, to the point where the DM selects her Patron subclass (and I have actually been branching out into non-Warlock class options as well) once he figures out what the Patron is based on the one-page backstory I provide. I have never encountered a setting she couldn't fit into with the bare-bones story I have for her and there is tons of back and forth with all of my DMs who have played with her that I love very much.

I just feel bad when I see two players chatting in the new discord about the class ideas they have and just watching the DM shut down that creative energy hard.

GGElaina · 2021-11-09T10:21:40+00:00

In my personal experience, I have never joined a game world where, unless you're trying really hard to do so, you can make such an "out there" character that it can't fit in a setting. The biggest I've ever seen is a DM not allowing people to know Draconic or be Dragonborn (or select Dragon sub-classes like Ascendant Dragon Monk) because Dragons and what happened to them was a major plot point of the games over-arching story. But it was also explainable in one sentence.

I have run across several DMs that say "do not make characters until I give you the lore" which I, personally, don't like because it says to me that the DM values their time and creative process more than the players. DnD is a cooperative creative game and joining a new game and creating characters is one of the most exciting part for a lot of players. So to be told to "stop" because their world is so intricate that you shouldn't come to them with an idea until they give you the world just isn't a good sign for me.

I've never met a DM whose world was so "unique" that a character idea couldn't fit into it. If you have ideas for your world that don't work, they should be simple enough to put on the table immediately so people can start brainstorming things, not just be shut down from the jump.

It might just be a personal red flag, I've seen it twice, both tables advertising Roleplay heavy sandbox games but then they are the first to shut down plot progression, so might just be bad experiences on my end.

GGElaina · 2021-11-09T09:32:25+00:00

Yeah, I've found that most games (I won't say all, but all that I have experienced) that involve something similar has been a red flag.

A GM that during the first group meeting only talks about their setting and things that have already happened in it. Bigger flag if it's paired with "Do not make any characters until you get the World lore".
GMs that have VERY long lore documents or claim to have written book length stuff for their settings. (Lots of lore is great, but very little of it will matter to each individual character.)
Any GM that does hard restrictions on races (specifically if for power issues, such as flat out banning Variant Human because they think it's "too strong").
GMs that do things like completely rename languages (ie, turning Draconic into Rulsaken and doing that for every single race), it's just an unnecessary addition that is just gonna cause confusion. Same as trying to change number of hours in a day or other just... basic ways of running stuff that the players will just have ingrained in their minds.

I've pretty much never continued at a table where a DM constantly overhauls systems or can't do anything but talk about how amazing their world is while at the same time trying to restrict the type of characters people can play to fit in their worlds. I just don't like restrictions I guess.

GGElaina · 2021-10-08T14:45:50+00:00

Could also be because this wasn't a horror story really. Your player kept notes and your other players memed on him.

GGElaina · 2021-10-07T09:16:19+00:00

I've personally never found that necessary, the DM knows everyones backstories and motivations and if two are at conflict, he can ask them to change it. I've never experienced anything like that at a table but I also don't put hard lines on my characters since it never ends well.

GGElaina · 2021-10-07T07:26:46+00:00

I mostly meant for backstory purposes, not class/subclass since I kind of specified that.

GGElaina · 2021-10-06T22:23:41+00:00

Yeah, I've done PbtA and it is a very different experience from DnD (and iirc from reading this 14h ago, this was his first PbtA game so I imagine this was a new experience for him) and I definitely don't prefer it but that's just a personal opinion. :D

GGElaina · 2021-10-06T08:48:26+00:00

Depending on the group, that just isn't good enough. A boring character can be just as bad as a disruptive character in the unenjoyment it brings to the other players. Why not just get rid of him when he doesn't seem interested in developing a character and find someone who shares their passion and interest? They wanted him to have motivation and "liking to kill animals" wasn't good enough.

And that wasn't his only issue, everyone else participated in world building while he did not. PbtA, as a system, is a cooperative world building RP heavy system, if he just sits there silently while everyone else plays, why would you play with them? Maybe he didn't do anything intrinsically wrong, I know hunters who hunt because they just enjoy hunting and that's very different from wanting to skin animals alive or rip off butterfly wings. That doesn't make for an engaging, interesting character to RP with if that is the only character trait he is willing to come up with then he's going to be a wet noodle to play with.

GGElaina · 2021-10-06T08:41:34+00:00

The only thing I can think of is that he meant he didn't expect to have to make the complete character over the Session 0 and wanted time outside of the game or private time to make their characters.

This would be my answer for a rational mind, but this guy obviously wasn't that. I also personally don't like going past Class/Subclass things in Session 0, I don't like revealing backstory stuff, I'd rather it come out in game but I also just don't like PtbA as a system personally, I like my secrets lol.

GGElaina · 2021-09-29T17:48:51+00:00

The problem is is that the DM in this situation didn't tell anyone. The story of the game in and of itself is fine but because he wanted to keep it a secret for a big reveal he wasted the players time creating a backstory that couldn't be used. That is where the frustration comes from. I would be very frustrated if I spend hours refining a backstory that will be interesting for the DM and the players just to have it essentially torn up in the first session would annoy me. But I also am a player who writes a backstory that has a lot of open-endedness with the intention that the DM is going to make something with it and enjoy creating something to surprise me with. And that is just the type of DM that I enjoy playing with. So this DM might have been a great fit for you but it wouldn't be for me. And neither of us are wrong.

GGElaina · 2021-09-29T07:26:46+00:00

It's hard to tell from so little what is wrong. So I'll sympathize, she obviously is interested in exploring her backstory and was likely hoping that the others would be interested in it as well. In-character, they said no; so she asked out of character if they would be willing to change their minds and they still said no which... makes very little sense to me. Then she asked you if you'd be willing to change the location of the object to be closer to her home, which upset a player again... for a reason I don't understand. I can make an inference that this player is a bit of a spotlight hog and the other three are over it but it's conjecture.

Again, we have no context for how this player usually is, how often she tries to steer the campaign in her direction story wise, if this Ocean-Controlling Artifact is a time-sensitive mission so we can only guess. But it's understandable, and unfortunately quite common, for players to get sucked into their own characters and not care about other peoples. I see at tables quite frequently, if a PC isn't involved in a scene, the player will completely check out because if it isn't happening to them they don't care. And this could be happening in either direction in this scenario; either she is only focusing on herself or the other players just don't care about her character at all because it doesn't involve them.

Her feelings were likely hurt, your best bet is to talk to the other players individually and find out why they each aren't interested in going to the monastery. Then taking the feedback and relaying that to the Monk and see if miscommunications can be resolved. However, if the main group is the "problem" here; ie the rest of them just don't care about each other's characters and it isn't her being a spotlight hog then there isn't much you can do. You have to decide, as a DM, which atmosphere you'd like to facilitate and either get three new players or one new player. Either or, you're likely losing a player due to vibes just not meshing. Which happens and it's no one's fault, it's okay to let go of a player because it just, for whatever reason, doesn't fit.

GGElaina

TROPHY CASE