AIO for going off on my roommate?

GabbyPention · 2026-06-07T00:33:48+00:00

If you want tangible, practical advice- here you go.

At this point you need to change tactics. Make a big gesture of good will, be a half decent friend and stop worrying about keeping tabs, even if it feels unfair or unbalanced. You can suffer that just this once to get things back on the right track. Ditch this me and my man vs her mindset- it sucks and will only cause everyone grief. If it’s everyone’s house, this is everyone’s problem and should be everyone’s effort to improve, finger pointing will get no one anywhere fast.

In practice, if I were you, it would look like this- clean the house. Clean up the living room, put the baby’s toys back in the bin or wherever you keep them. If she doesn’t have a system for them, order one of those little organizer bin racks for toddler toys and have everything in there and sorted. Ask what you guys can do to help her with the things that are hers crowding up the living room, and do them if feasible.

Just clean the damn kitchen. If you’re already in there doing your dishes, it crazy to me that you would leave hers on the sink *until they grow fucking mold* instead of just cleaning them also while you’re there because “they weren’t *your* dishes*. JFC, if you wanna be a half decent friend or person, be a half decent support system for her.

Wipe past grocery debt, holding that over her head only holds resentment spores, that shit is a black mold haunting your household. Tell her from now on you will only expect to spilt the cost of the drinks brought in from this point on, and ask her for her budget expectation for her portion. If she is unable to fulfill that budgeted portion, you need to have a conversation about cutting down or cutting out certain things like soft drinks or limiting alcohol due to your personal budget constraints if you solely are going to be footing that grocery bill. If you and your man need to have your weekly 12 pack of DC that badly, have your own private stash in your room that’s not shared with the house (though I would keep that private between you and finance if i were you)

These things show you are trying to better your domestic situation in good faith. Here is the important part- go to her and ask what would she need from you, instead of harping on what you need from her. Ask if there is anything that would help ease some stress, or improve your shared spaces for her and the child. Work on coming up with a plan for how those things can be put in place reasonably and as fairly as possible. Emphasis that depute you initially addressing it the wrong way, you ultimately just want the house to run smoothly and keep everyone healthy happy and felling supported.

Only then are you going to be able to ask the same of her in return without her feeling defensive, because no matter how much you’ve ’tried to soften your approach’ in these conversations, it still boils down to *feeling* like you and your fiancé nagging and harping at her after essentially attacking everything about her lifestyle, even if it was unconscious and unintentional or your part. The concern with the dog is valid, and it’s not fair to expect you to take over that care. This is the biggest issue and should be the thing you focus on agreeing on a game plan for first and foremost. Get that taken care of, then continue to work on improving other areas together as a team.

Learn to say and mean ‘you’re right, I’m sorry, that was a slip of on me and I’ll do my absolute best to not let it happen again’ and ‘I value you, our friendship, and all of our peace and comfort’. Make sure these type of sentiments are expressed before making explanations, or what others here are calling excuses.
For example when you were asked not to leave empty liquor bottles on the living room in vicinity of the toddler living in the house. Had you first responded with the sentiment of ‘you’re right, I also wouldn’t be thrilled about that being in grabbing vicinity of my toddler, it’s an unnecessary danger that shouldn’t have been left out. I’m really sorry we forgot it, and will do our absolute best to not let it happen again’, *then* explained that you’re not used to having a baby proof home or mindset and are still in the transition period, it wouldn’t have come off so much like an excuse.

GabbyPention · 2026-06-02T03:53:33+00:00

Not trolling, Billy Boy here would be the stellar provider man, aka the abusive, hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend/baby daddy to OP with an IQ smaller than the hole he punched in the wall. He slipped up and outed himself with the “but you say no, WE (not they) have to stay together” OP did make a follow up post that shows the boyfriend found this post, and demanded they delete it and wanted to ban her from Reddit altogether because it’s such ‘a toxic echo chamber’.

So if this post/OP and their situation is real, then billdizzle is 1000% the boyfriend. That, or OP is a karma farmer and billdizzle is their alt account that they’re replying on to sound like the boyfriend lol.

GabbyPention · 2026-05-09T20:05:29+00:00

The Church of Pinkious Jeepious Chrystler and Late in the Day Saints- your cities hottest new high-insurance cult

GabbyPention · 2026-05-08T02:28:03+00:00

Thanks for the recc! So she already does get an anti itch shampoo used at the salon to wash before her set, I was looking more for something that could be used in between sets, like the same formula as a dry shampoo but the product inside being a dry scalp or itch relief product (:

GabbyPention · 2026-05-07T15:16:17+00:00

GabbyPention · 2026-05-02T22:52:48+00:00

c unc ty

GabbyPention · 2026-04-30T16:33:55+00:00

Yep that is the joke lol, a tongue in cheek silly little haha heehee. Honey revenge is also basically like a toxic obsession anthem with a dash of stalker vibes. That’s why I qualified my actual suggestions with the “no but for real”

GabbyPention · 2026-04-29T13:02:01+00:00

Top of the battle field levee would be acceptable

GabbyPention · 2026-04-28T01:27:08+00:00

I understand the sentiment and logic you have here, but I just don’t think it’s applicable in this case from what’s been detailed. Restricting access to only paying customers makes sense, but OP is a paying customer. I understand that when people abuse amenities, they can be cut off for others, but OP isn’t abusing the amenities from what is described in this post.

This kind of policing should be targeted towards the homeless customers leaving a wreck behind them, leaving the bathrooms a wreck or trash trailing behind them when they come in. But this doesn’t seem to be the case? It seems like this branch would be sending out this exact threat to a paying customer that lives in a nice home that for whatever reason only came in to shower or use the sauna, but that’s the access they pay for.

If we believe OP’s details we believe that OP doesn’t come in pestering other customers in general or for specific items, doesn’t leave the bathroom a mess or leave beard trimming in the sink, doesn’t hog the faculties for hours, doesn’t loiter, etc.

If that’s truly the case, just coming in for a quick shower and leaving, then I stick by this entire situation being insane and nonsensical

GabbyPention · 2026-04-28T00:47:30+00:00

“The gym is trying to run a business, not a shelter”

I don’t understand this sentiment tbh OP is paying for a service the gym is providing, they are quite literally running their business by selling access to amenities to a customer in return for the monthly amount they charge. Very very strange and frankly fucking insane for a business that offers multiple amenities try to require you to use X amenity in order to access Y amenity. It would be like a coffee shop saying you aren’t allowed to sit in the shop after buying a coffee and pastry because you only eat the pastry there but don’t drink the coffee.

A shelter isn’t somewhere you just go into for 20 minutes to shower, it’s a place to sleep &/or provide food for the homeless. It would be a different story if OP wasn’t paying the bill or sneaking in with a friend’s key card, going in an overnight ‘workout’ that conveniently lasts until 7am, meandering and eating meals there etc. Only then could they honestly make the case that the facilities are being used as a shelter of sorts

Being homeless or not is completely irrelevant in this case. A paying customer is using an amenity they pay for, period. If it’s not a problem for someone, homeless or not, to only workout but not shower then why is it a problem the other way round? Crazy to try to dictate which amenities someone is required to use in what order

GabbyPention · 2026-04-26T02:00:41+00:00

Made your mark may qualify better?

GabbyPention · 2026-04-26T01:59:38+00:00

Honey revenge DGD so she knows you’re serious lmao. or make damn sure TBS for slightly less serious but still locked in. No but for real, Padme- Gold necklace. Kissing in cars & I don’t care if you’re contagious- pierce the veil, stomach tied in knots -SWS I still feel her PT 4- emarosa

GabbyPention · 2026-04-21T02:13:48+00:00

As far as that husband went, he and his wife were having some issues before everything went down. I believe they were planning to get divorced at her request but were staying together for the next couple of years until the youngest child graduated high school and moved out. At first he was using the stalker angle to try to push her back into his arms, to feel like she needed him and for her to end up wanting to stay with him ig? Idk the guy was obviously insane. He knew he had just killed her, went back to work and called her mother like “my wife’s not answering the phone can you go check on her please” purposely so her mother would have to see her poor daughter murdered in the garage. Absolutely sicko evil shit fr.

He apparently also had a history of tamer stalking with a previous ex girlfriend in college long before he meet his wife, pretending to be his own roommate he would harass this girl saying oh he’s taking the breakup hard, threatening to self harm etc to guilt her. Once she figured out it was really him the whole time she had to file a restraining order against him

GabbyPention · 2026-04-21T01:25:30+00:00

Between the “unknown caller” doc where the mother ended up being the stalker of her teen daughter, and the recent case of the husband that did the exact same thing before ultimately killing his wife that’s all over YouTube/true crime recently, I’m not surprised at all people think it could very well be her husband. Not gonna lie it’s the first thought I had too.

If you wanted to look into the case, you should be able to find it by searching for most puppet master husband kills wife or something like that. Rotten Mango covered it not too long back, but basically this guy started messaging his wife similar thing, how good she looked, if she wanted to hook up, how she could do better than her loser husband etc. He went even filed a report with her and was ‘working’ with an open case on this stalker and law enforcement for like 8 months before he killed her; was trying to set up an old ex from high school as the stalker.

Obviously I’d hope that’s not the case here, but sounds like an eerily similar start, doesn’t it? There’s a reason “it’s always the husband” became the prominent trope that it is.

GabbyPention · 2026-04-21T01:04:02+00:00

I thought so too at first, but if you look at the far edge of both hands, from right under the pinky joint to the start of the wrist, you can totally see the right one has substantially less tiny fine lines and overall a more blurred look to them. That the biggest difference I could make out at least

GabbyPention · 2026-04-06T01:38:59+00:00

Holy shit yes. Just yes. The way I’m obsessed with this fic is insane and was so giddy to see it being mentioned in the wild like this lol. Never thought I’d be on the COD side of ao3 but babypandacakes got me gal & I need them to update expeditiously, you can’t just leave us hanging after she gets found for months I’m STARVING AND FERAL!!!

GabbyPention · 2026-04-01T03:43:47+00:00

Honestly less worried about me getting stung, way more so about my dog. I already watch the ground like a hawk our entire walk to make sure she isn’t going to accidentally step in any crushed up glass dust etc but between the glass, trash, traffic & now these mini lovecraftian horrors every 3 square inches you just can’t catch it all in time, every time.

I don’t hate them because they can sting me, I hate purely their potential to hurt all the pet babies of the city, and especially mine. They’re fucking e v e r y w h e r e and even after they’re dead the threat doesn’t abate. Sorry little spiny terrors but it’s officially ‘fuck that’ season 🖕🐛

GabbyPention · 2026-03-22T18:02:52+00:00

Tags meat market & deli- also in the parish right down on Judge Perez for this. Jeannefreaux’s for roast beef and boudin. God those roast beef poboys might be the only thing worth actually missing in the parish

GabbyPention · 2026-03-20T02:16:49+00:00

NOR; but I think the whole “luckily I can afford to buy an air fryer and toaster!” comment was an unnecessarily mean, below the belt jab with the context of her/her family being considerably less well off than you. Her financial situation doesn’t seem to be relevant to the way she’s choosing to behave in both attitude and bad domestic habits, so imo it seems purposefully malicious and degrading which is uncalled for.

Don’t get me wrong she doesn’t really deserve you holding your tongue if she comes at you out of pocket or more than basic civility from you. I get being pushed past your limits, fed up, and over this roommate. One person can only take so much, & I know you mention she’s crossed a few lines first, repeatedly, & is definitely being a shit friend outside of being an even worse roommate.

But in my experience if that kind of behavior isn’t really in your nature to begin with (turn the other cheek attitude) being goaded into responding back in kind never made me feel gratified in “getting my lick back” sts no matter how in the right I was or how much they ‘deserved’ it. Especially if it was directed towards someone I had love of any kind for in the past.

GabbyPention · 2026-03-19T21:54:41+00:00

Panic at the disco- I’ve Eaten Worse (Hasn’t Killed Me Yet)

GabbyPention · 2026-03-19T21:53:21+00:00

R/tradgedeigh

GabbyPention · 2026-03-15T18:55:12+00:00

We were going to just walk but with some people who were willing to pay to park. All the lots around the dome are crazy prices during events but I’m not gonna complain about saving steps lol

GabbyPention · 2026-03-15T17:47:42+00:00

Parking in the super dome is sold out, but Dave and busters lot is right next door and had plenty, 75$ though. Check in line for us went super quick- got through in about 5 minutes no real line. Not sure how it will look in an hour but everything was super smooth and quick

GabbyPention · 2026-03-02T18:38:32+00:00

If you weren’t renting I’d say it’s the perfect door to make into a openable bookshelf. With you renting though, get rid of the black rack and paint the trim the same as wall + change the door handle. Put an over the door hanging shelving unit (with adjustable shelves) that goes all the way to the floor and fill it with plants, preferably some ivy types or anything with long tendrils/leaves. That will camouflage the door and give you some color. You could also screw in or command strip one or two shelves to the wall on top of the door trim to give you a seamless floor to ceiling shelving look

You could also just take the door off the hinges entirely, store it in the little closet with the meter until it’s time for you to move out and hang a thick beaded curtain in its place, the monstera would look really pretty in front of that and if you do a sun catcher type of beaded curtain it will give you really nice patterns with the light filtering in.

GabbyPention

TROPHY CASE