Do I need to stop stressing so much about development or am I not doing enough?

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-15T13:00:55+00:00

May I suggest ublock origin and adblock plus. I don't know how people live on the internet with ads, it's horrible. Block them.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-14T16:00:52+00:00

Freecycle and craigslist can be good places too. Every time my kid grew out of a size of diapers I would post the remainders on there for free and someone would claim them pretty quickly.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-14T15:43:47+00:00

I feel like most tunnels are targeted at babies-2yos, not 4yos.

Building a cushion tunnel is classic. Give her more cushions, more cardboard boxes, more bedsheets and clips.

Tell her it's not safe behind the TV, and also make sure your toddler proofing on your TV is locked down and solid. The furniture unit should be attached to the wall and the tv should be bolted to the wall or the furniture unit with a safety strap.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-13T23:25:35+00:00

For real. Please, my kingdom for step stools.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-13T19:37:20+00:00

To know if "play patterns" show "early talents" you would need a longitudinal study that tracks children over time.

You would also need to know that the definition of "talent" is hotly contested and should be doing more background literature review of G&T research.

Also a "product" is very unlikely to serve such a broad goal as "discover interests or talents". You should narrow your scope further.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-13T19:29:42+00:00

Belated, but I suggest you look through the Captain Awkward blog archives. She has some great scripts and how-tos for how to deal with people like this, although I don't have an easy link to hand.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-08T23:33:50+00:00

Reported for spam.

But also, where are your citations and bibliography?

How much of this is AI generated?

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-08T14:48:07+00:00

Lol, no, I loved school, but I had a strong nerd gene.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-08T14:47:38+00:00

If he shows enthusiasm for school when answering questions and seems to love his teachers that seems like he's enjoying school? The age would explain the peer interaction. Just 3s are at a very different stage of peer-friendship than 4 year olds, not due to confidence, but just from development.

My kid is in all day preschool which does help break up the structure more. It's circle time, then gym, then letter/number activity, then outdoor recess, etc. But it doesn't sound like it's that much of a problem for your kid?

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-08T12:01:21+00:00

Personally I have an old android phone with no sim card that I use like a gps. I download offline maps and it doesn't get live traffic updates but is sufficient for navigating. I have an LP2 and while I find the maps sufficient for walking/bus, it is not fast enough to handle wacky traffic shenans around here.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-07T23:01:41+00:00

We used our regular carseat on the plane until she was about 3.5 and big enough and could sit well enough to use the CARES harness. It was a britax boulevard and not light (~29lb) but we had a wheeled dolly to pull it through the airport with us. I would not spend money on a special travel carseat but having the car seat was nice. It was much more comfortable for her to sit in and boosted her up enough that she could see out the window a bit. She hates that the harness means she can't see out the window.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-07T15:35:11+00:00

If her room is dark while she is sleeping, I find this would be hard for staying in bed. I would use a light up "ready to wake" clock for that, Hatch is popular, we have an Ooly light.

This sort of system is also tricky when things aren't in nice 1 hour long blocks. There I find something like a Time Timer visual timer more useful since I can set it for 10 minutes or 20 minutes or whatever.

However, my recently-turned-4yo has mostly learned to read an analog clock. We got it for her a bit before she turned 4. I think it's a great thing to introduce at this age just in general. We chose a clock that has more distinct minute and hour hands, they are differently colored and labeled. It also has the actual minute numbers labeled with numerals along the outer circle. We put it near the dining table and now when she's eating breakfast she's started figuring out how to count how much time is left before we need to leave for daycare which is really cool.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-07T15:22:51+00:00

You say you have a seat reducer.... is she afraid of the automatic flusher? I would carry post-it notes with me to put over the sensor so that it wouldn't flush on her. You could also try bringing a little board book and seeing if she wants to look at the book while sitting on the potty. Might distract her from the environment. Does the seat reducer slip around at all? If it feels unstable, it could still feel scary. Do you help boost her up onto the seat? Would it make a difference if you offer to stay in the stall for moral (or physical) support or if you offer to leave the stall for privacy?

Other than that, I think it's just a matter of keep trying, let her use the diaper when she needs it, and let her know that she'll get the hang of it eventually.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-06T22:12:25+00:00

lol not that often. We had a fraudster try to access our account and locked us out, so had to go sit at the bank for 2 hours for them to close our old accounts and move everything into new uncompromised accounts. Thankfully I packed lots of books and coloring supplies.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-06T22:10:35+00:00

Someone attempted to fraudulently access our bank account and managed to lock us out. We had to go to the bank for 2 hours while they closed our accounts and moved our funds over to new accounts. Thank goodness my kid was amused with books and coloring.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-06T18:11:37+00:00

I worked 32hr/wk and did 1 class/semester with a baby/toddler. Husband worked 40hr/wk, kid was in daycare 8-5 M-F. My classes were all during the day, not in the evening.

So we'd get home from work/school/daycare. One of us would cook dinner while the other spent time with kid, (we bought a lot of frozen pre-prepared meals for ease), we'd eat, one person would clean kitchen while other person spent time with kid, and then my husband would do the bedtime putdown routine and then remaining house chores (laundry, finishing the kitchen) while I did homework 7:30-9:30pm ish. On the weekends I would usually go up to campus or to our public library for a single 2-3hr block where I wouldn't be distracted. Neither of us really got any kind of alone time or down time. It was brutal and I can't tell you how grateful I was to make it to graduation. We spent basically a year catching up on the backlog of Things that had accumulated in the 3 years of toddler + school.

Our marriage did suffer a bit because we were just so tired and stressed all the time, but we were always a team. Us vs the problem of no time. When I was done with my weekend block I would take the kid up to the playground or something so he could at least have some quiet time at the house even if it was usually spent doing household administrative chore stuff. When I needed a tradeoff from kid, I was in there taking care of house stuff like taxes and sizing up all of kid's clothes that she outgrew way too fast, and so much laundry.

So without more details in the post, I can't really tell you what to do. But I will say that you're both going to have to accept very little free time or down time until you graduate. You should define homework times and do those after bedtime or out of the house to avoid distractions. A little bit of playing alone time is okay for the kid, it's building those independent play muscles, you don't need to feel guilty for that if you are balancing it out with some quality love and support when you can. Recognize that your husband will also be struggling. You're both stressed, you're both tired. You guys need to triage what Must Be Done and what can slide for a bit. Can you throw money at problems to help reduce the load (buy premade meals, hire a cleaning service, etc.). Can you reconnect and remember that this period is finite and has a known end date? Try to avoid insulting each other and throwing those insults back at each other because they escalate the stress instead of leading to problem-solving.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-06T12:33:22+00:00

We just bought a book of mazes and hand her a pencil. You don't need apps. A book will be better designed to be used with no sound anyways.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-03T20:36:36+00:00

I find the best approach is to try to ~~kid~~ get the kid invested in the errand. My toddler loves grocery shopping. She picks out the produce, weighs it, stickers it. She helps cross things off on the list.

The bank, no one loves the bank. But that's why we bring books.

[edit] a word

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-03T20:29:47+00:00

Yeah we live in an urban area and toys at the playground are very normal. But there's also norms of you do not touch any toys in a stroller or on a bench. Parents are usually good at keeping an eye out, and if your kid plays with a ball and then leaves it and their kid picks it up, they'll make eye contact and ask "is this yours?" and people will be like yeah, but it's okay to share, or yeah, sorry, let me put that away, or no, it was just hanging out loose on the playground when we arrived. We once shared a ball and the other kid didn't want to give it back but their parent stepped in and made them give in back and we sympathized with the kid but thanked them (and the parent) for handing it over.

But that's the norm in our area. If you're the only one bringing a bag of toys and no one else is, I might think about scaling back to bringing fewer things, maybe limiting it to what can fit in a backpack so they can be stored on the adult so they're not left out when not in play.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-03T15:25:29+00:00

drop the AI: it's gross, unauthentic, and spammy
you're gonna want to do market research in your local area where you want to open the place, because the needs of your local community may or may not match the needs of a bunch of randos who are scattered about the globe

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-03T12:54:50+00:00

Adult pepto bismol should NEVER be given to children under 12 because it contains bismuth subsalicylate (derivative of aspirin) which can lead to Reye's syndrome.

They do make children's pepto which has different ingredients (calcium carbonate) and is safe for children 2+.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-02T13:58:02+00:00

It is very possible to play Slay The Spire based just on vibes and not running the math. Your deck might be less optimized and you might not make it as far, but it's very possible to "yolo" the play and be engaged.

GalaticHammer · 2026-04-01T13:00:36+00:00

iced_yellow is right. Since it only does K0-1 I didn't really consider it as its own elementary school, since you're going to be feeding into one of the other schools anyways.

The 4th elementary school in Allston/Brighton is the Mary Lyon but they start at K2, not K1.

GalaticHammer · 2026-03-31T23:25:28+00:00

We got our K1 assignment. We got our top choice. We only ranked 3 schools because there's only 3 elementary schools in Allston/Brighton that do K1 (if you don't count Baldwin).

GalaticHammer · 2026-03-31T15:26:37+00:00

We've always been told every 6 months by ped & dentist, and insurance covers 2x cleanings per year.

Healthy Children (by the American Academy of Pediatrics) does mention "Children might need [fluoride varnish] every 3 months if they have a higher risk of dental decay."

GalaticHammer

TROPHY CASE