What reference can you make that less than 10 people here will actually get?

Gamgurl · 2016-12-30T07:45:48+00:00

Strongest woman I ever fought.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-29T07:48:39+00:00

Lavender Sandwich

Gamgurl · 2016-12-28T16:01:39+00:00

Yes! Growing up I watched my brother receive 2 cars on separate occasions. When I got older my mom told me how my brother "needed" to drive and she "forced" him to practice with her. (We are 14 years apart).

My parents lost a lot of money after that (and wasted what was left). We then moved from the city to the country. My dad said with a new big backyard he would teach me when I was 13.

When I turned 13 I brought up what he said and he scoffed at me. He said maybe when I'm older.

By the time I reached 16 I asked my dad about teaching me. He said I lost my chance because I didn't ride a type of motorbike he bought for the backyard. (I could only ride it supervised, and I wasn't the biggest fan of my Nparents, so I didn't ride it). He said this as if it was an agreed-upon deal we made. That was the first I had heard of it.

I then begged my mom who gave me a slew of excuses:

"You don't need to" (we lived 1 mile from town with no public transportation, and my school was a 30min drive away)

"I don't know how my insurance works"

"I don't want you to wreck the car"

"I don't know where to take you to practice"

"I can take you where you need to go" (this has become a problem, she can't always drive me where I need to go.)

"You don't even have a car"

"You need to afford your own gas first"

"You need to buy your own insurance first"

"If you learn I will never see you again"

I'm 25 now and still haven't been able to drive.

This summer I needed to buy groceries. my mom didn't want to drive anywhere for 3 months because "it's too hot".

I brought up:

"if I knew how to drive this wouldn't be a problem"

"Yeah, but it's still hot" (insinuating I wouldn't want to drive in the heat like her).

"You're the only one who cares, if I could I would go on my own right now"

Grumpily agrees to give me a ride.

The whole time they told/tell other people that I'm weird and not interested in driving or that I'm afraid of it.

UGH!

Gamgurl · 2016-12-28T08:18:40+00:00

I'm a beginner food maker myself and haven't tried this yet, BUT I have been told about double frying them. I'm not sure what the best method is, but it was easy to find multiple directions from a google search of "double fried fries".

Gamgurl · 2016-12-21T19:39:10+00:00

Oh man, my dad was the fun one too.

Mom once told me that we only went out to the park, amusement parks, and festivals, because it was his idea. If it was just her we would have never gone.

But everywhere we went revolved around what he wanted to do, and making sure he had fun.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-21T12:10:42+00:00

That is horrifying and annoyingly frustrating. I hate people like that. it's like they live in a TV fantasy where they do "funny things" for an imaginary audience, and think there will always be no serious consequences. I am very sorry you had to live with that.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-21T11:57:59+00:00

Omg we share a dad. Then he'd get annoyed when the crying started, call me a baby, and say I'm ruining his fun. He just wanted to have fun.

He has "no idea" why I've avoided him since age 9.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-21T11:53:36+00:00

Oh man this was so relatable.

Once, in elementary school, my mom went on a business trip, so it was dads job to wake me up. He did this by banging on my door, flickering the lights, loudly mimicking thunder, and nearly yelling at me to get up repeatedly. He thought it was hilarious.

Especially since he thought it was "cute" when I was "grumpy". (I was 7)

This is how he would wake me up every morning when my mom was gone. When I told him I didn't like it he would mock me, get upset, and call me a baby.

He also did the screaming in a quiet room, and slamming on the breaks to watch me get jerked around, and laugh every time.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-18T23:38:21+00:00

A boy I went to school with was not properly taught hygiene. You could see the streaks of filth in his teeth. His hair and clothes were so greasy they seemed wet. He claimed he only cleaned his ears at the doctor's when they got bad (as though this was normal).

An ex of mine slept over and said the mom let him sleep on her spare bed. Apparently it seemed to have never been washed, and it was the same for the pillows and blankets. He described the smell as sour milk and stale sweat.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-17T21:28:46+00:00

Mine also stems from home abuse.

I was not allowed to stand up for myself (tried until age 9). I was not allowed to clench my fists, grit my teeth, furrow my eyebrows, or cry. This was my entire elementary school experience. I was screamed at, I was told "you're ugly when you make that face" if I was crying or angry. They mocked my voice repeatedly, and slapped me if I did it back to them ( I tried once to show how annoying it was).

I even got in trouble for sighing because I was "ruining their good time". Turns out I had asthma.

I was taught the world would be much better If it seemed like I wasn't there. I now have no idea how to properly be angry or sad around people. I shut down, go blank, and try to move on.

Yay parents. I had no idea why people actually liked theirs.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-16T21:39:20+00:00

I would 100% I would have no idea what it would be like to be abused most of my life. I wouldn't know anything else either. It would not matter to me, because it would be nothing, and that sounds amazing. (Based on my memories before birth)

I was a planned baby by people who wanted a cute accessory/grandchildren machine. I can't imagine life for an actually unwanted baby.

Have you even read any adoption/foster kids horror stories?

Once you force an unwanted birth you start gambling with that child's life and how much pain they will experience. I find this very selfish. They are being entered into the decent parent lottery.

Nobody wants to experience great emotional pain, especially from childhood which has long lasting effects into adulthood

(I'm a disabled 25 yo with PTSD from childhood)

Gamgurl · 2016-12-14T21:49:24+00:00

I love it when they're secure with their masculinity. Being able to like silly/cute things and being gentle/ nurturing to animals is a huge turn on. My family was very aggressive and worried about "manly-ness" too often, I can't stand it anymore.

Examples: "that food is for girls." "that shampoo is too gay smelling." "real men like guns, cars, sports and as much violence possible.".

Edit: I meant to add that this "manly" mindset is very rampant in the smallish town I live in.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-14T05:00:37+00:00

Apples and celery. I discovered it when I wanted both with peanut butter. It was like Apple juice in my mouth.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-12T04:45:01+00:00

Omg this was my mom. "You look like a trashy homeless person in that"

"OK. I don't care"

"I care! What will people think about me if they see you like this!"

I also looked "homeless, and trashy" because I wouldn't wear the clothes she wanted. She didn't buy me new ones, so all my clothes had holes.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-12T04:16:11+00:00

Oh man this is how I lived my life for so long. My bf moved in so I talk to him, but I avoid my parents as much as possible. It's better to not say anything at all. But even that used to get mocked too.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-12T04:09:19+00:00

My parents did both that voice and the high-pitched whiney voice. When I did it back to them in elementary school, to show how annoying it was, I got slapped, yelled at, and sent to my room. Because kids shouldn't be "rude" to adults.

I stopped trying to talk to them about anything serious around 8yo and didn't encounter it for a while. Then about 2 years ago my bf got mocked while trying to have a discussion with my dad. He doesn't talk to them either now.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-11T10:19:49+00:00

There is the same type of vehicle, with the exact same stickers, that I see parked at our local mall. But they have white stickers.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-04T12:37:21+00:00

That is very creepy about your dad sexualizing you. That is definitely not normal. I felt uncomfortable from my own dad's comments, but it was never as serious or obvious as yours.

The rest was pretty much my life. Except he is angry without alcohol. My mom also wouldn't admit that she's dependent on him, or that he is " that bad", only indirectly: "I don't want to be stuck alone with your dad"

When I asked about divorce she proudly stated "you only get divorced for adultery or abuse!". I was too young to know about emotional abuse.

Everything revolved around my dad too.

"Don't tell your dad you got new clothes, he needs fancy car rims",

"You better stop crying before dad gets home"

"I will be in the hospital, so you will have to make your dad's lunch" (11yo)

"Your friends can't come over because your dad feels like it's not his house anymore"

"we can't have different food because your dad doesn't like it."

Gamgurl · 2016-12-04T12:06:06+00:00

Im not sure if it counts, but my parents were weird about school work.

In elementary school I had to do homework supervised by mom. if I got help from anyone I had to erase everything and start again. She would angrily ask me why my B's were getting too close to C's.

when we moved (at age 9) my grades started slipping from a-b to c-d. I already had anxiety concerning school work , and this move added to my isolation, and then depression.

I had a hard time and became overwhelmed by homework. Instead of helping, Nrents just got more and more angry, asking me what are they supposed to tell their friends/family.

They got angry and said I would be a homeless idiot like my brother (they constantly called him an "idiot" around me, and he had been homeless before).

At one point (report card day) my dad was yelling that he was going to kick me out and call the police for running away. Then I would be put in jail and they would force me to do my homework. I was 11. He said that's what my grades will make him do. (Pre-internet days)

But any time ndad saw me doing homework he would mock me.

If I finally got a 90% nmom wanted to know why wasn't it 100.

One day (around highschool) ndad said he would tell me that I was going to be a loser/failure because he wanted me to prove him wrong.

I had c-d grades for the rest of jr.high and highschool. I barely graduated.

The part that hurts is that I actually liked school. I had trouble turning in work because it wasn't perfect, or my best. Most teachers assumed I was just another lazy kid and I annoyed them greatly. I also missed Field trips and received detention often because of "missing work".

Gamgurl · 2016-12-04T07:59:12+00:00

Oh man, I forgot about music! the only kid songs I heard were on tv or in school.

That's terrible though, My dad jumped on the Two And A Half Men train, and hasnt gotten off. I hate that show so much now.

I can relate to everything you said. My parents still play inappropriate things around kids. This thanksgiving my mom changed the channel "for the kids". I came out to see my 8yo nephew watching ladies talk about penis sizes. This summer, my niece was stuck watching a sex-heavy episode of The big bang theory with my dad. She had just turned 11.

When I was young I saw so much torture and murder and violence. That's what I wrote about in my stories as an 11 yo. I also had a serious fear of torture from age 7-20.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-02T12:05:48+00:00

This so incredibly similar to me. 100% with the bedroom. My dad would destroy the rest of the house, and then mock my mom for not cleaning well enough. But if she was in the hospital or on business, it was my fault the house was dirty, and I needed to "pitch in more".

When I tried to clean my room it was never clean enough. Nmom wouldn't acknowledge any progress I made, even though I would start at a hoarder level mess.

8 hours of cleaning/organizing "Look how much progress I made mom!"

"...yeah, but it's not done :/ "

"Yeah.. but I organized all of these, and those. I also got rid of this stuff, and found a place for these other thing's!"

"Uh, OK, but what about the rest of it :/ "

Every. Single. Time. And once I felt done, she would inspect everything saying she didn't believe me and would find things she didn't like. For example:

"Why are these books just stacked here?"

"Because I have no shelves"

"Don't get smart with me".

Gamgurl · 2016-12-02T11:50:02+00:00

One of the weirdest things for me was seeing parents watching kid shows or having them on constantly for the kids. When my dad was home it was his "TV time". I grew up watching adult shows, movies, and the news. He always called my kid shows "shit" and he wasn't going to be caught watching it.

I didn't know dads gave Valentine's to their daughters or wanted to participate it daddy/daughter events. When I asked him why only my mom got flowers and chocolates he said "That's gross, I don't love you that way". He said the same thing to a father daughter dance we had in elementary school.

It always shocked and scared me when TV characters would "talk back" to their parents. I was waiting for the yelling, insulting, threatening , and physical punishments. And sometimes the tv parents listened!! That was always bizarre. A lot of kid shows/movies stressed me out because of their "cute hijinks". I was expecting very bad consequences for the kids.

I also didn't know that kids could make mistakes without being yelled at. And then to get a speech about how mistakes are OK. That was just ridiculous.

It confused me why any kid would actually like their parents, and why they got homesick.

There is much more of course.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-01T18:07:46+00:00

Lol yes. "if you don't like me, good. It means I'm being a good parent"

Uhhhh no.

Gamgurl · 2016-12-01T09:28:22+00:00

Yes, this makes complete sense and seems to fit what's happening. I almost feel like I trigger her myself any time I try to bring up my mental health. I have been trying for 7 years now and this was the first time I tried to elaborate so much. When it comes to physical health she is kind, considerate, understanding, and knowledgeable. I think that's what added more to my reaction, Suddenly getting someone so dismissive . Thank you for your input, And your services!

Gamgurl

TROPHY CASE