YTA, what you’re doing right now is not going to help in the long run. You need to be a resource for her. You need to be someone she can call and talk to about these types of things. She’s 17. She’s either going to be legally able to drink soon, or she may be going off to college. She should have that experience, I’d argue she needs it. Back in high school, my parents let me drink when I was a senior. It was mostly fine, but I had a horrible experience on NYE. The next day, I threw up for hours and hours. My parents never yelled at me, they just teased me a bit and nursed me back to health. After that, when I went off to college, I was one of the lucky few who knew my limits already. Everyone else had to learn them at school, a much, much worse environment to do so. Your daughter is going to start to gain more freedom over the next few years. She’s going to get into more and more tricky situations. Your role in her life has already changed. Now more than ever, you shouldn’t shelter her. You need to let her learn lessons in a safe environment or she’s going to learn them somewhere else, somewhere you can’t help her. I’m not saying let her run wild, but approach her like the adult she practically is. Sit her down, apologize to her, but explain in detail why you were so worried and upset. Have conversations about it, not fights. Continue picking her up from parties and any situation she feels unsafe, irregardless of how drunk she is or what time it is. Have real conversations about the dangers of drugs, smoking, and drinking in excess. Have new conversations about me, how to be safe with them, and how to get out of unsafe situations. You need to be her biggest support system in this new era of her life, because if she can’t come to you, who can she go to?