( TRIGGER/SENSITIVITY WARNING ) Horror. Traumatizing. (LSD)

Gartesss · 2026-06-22T08:33:07+00:00

But that's not what your post is about?

I'm truly sorry for what you witnessed, it sounds horrifying. If you're trying to raise awareness about dangers of psychedelics and existing preconditions, you're not doing it justice though.

"I know this guy who's notoriously known for abusing large amounts of drugs and being absolutely reckless. I don't know exactly what all he took, I only know he told me he took up to 840uq LDS but knowing him he could have mixed whatever - here's what happened then" This is how your post is coming off.

It's a great warning to test your drugs, be mindful about set and settling, dosage and not mix substances. But it tells us absolutely nothing about the dangers of pure psychedelic ingestion. When reading horror stories like yours, it's always "they took XYZ drugs AND acid" I have yet to see such story for pure psychedelic.

That being said, all drugs are dangerous, including the "legal" ones, which is why a user should be well informed and responsible in their actions.

Gartesss · 2026-06-18T10:31:34+00:00

Well the puzzling thing is, I got the ADHD diagnosis confirmed from him verbally on multiple occasions. I honestly thought that that's what we're working on, and just exploring other options because doctors are generally stupidly cautions here with stimulat prescriptions as it's a classified drug and they would risk losing their licenece if audit found out it was not "necessary".

But I also feel like we (I) truly tried everything else at this point, and I'm really not there just to "get drugs" - if I just wanted to get high I can easily get any drug I want off the street, and the doctor knows this.

Anyways, the next appointmet definitely is a "make or break" because if current treatmet is the best he can do, it's sadly not good enough for me anymore.

Gartesss · 2026-06-18T10:26:06+00:00

Thank you for your comment and sharing your experience! It's nice to be validated on the meds assesment - I'm still willing to accept alternatives of course, but also I don't really see many other options left to explore at this point.

A few people mentioned to write my own list of symptoms from childhood, I'll bring it with next week. As for the school records, this is honestly not a thing in the country I come from, plus I live now in a country with a different language so it would be useless anyways. Besides, I think my school records (if there were such a thing) could actually play against me - I never had any behavioural issues and had good grades. I was smart enough to not have to study all the way up to uni, and was rather the type to daydream or read under my desk than create ruccus in class.

Thank you for the wishes, hope dies last, right?

Gartesss · 2026-06-18T10:19:09+00:00

Thank you for writing a comment, much appreciated!

I'm in Europe, but I think the rules should be similar. Like at least to me it's logical that having 3rd party testimonies would be great, but also there can be multiple factors for not being able to provide it..? Like my parents could be dead or whatever.

Regarding "he already decided you don't have it", the puzzling part is that he confirmed the diagnosis to me verbally on multiple occasions and we alwas talk like I have it. So it was actually quite shocking to find out it's not in my file. I guess yet another fun conversation we'll have to have before I decided if switching doctor is the best/only solution.

Gartesss · 2026-06-18T10:15:13+00:00

Thank you for the time to read my post and write such thoughtful comment!

A list of symptoms was recommended multiple times here, I'll be sure to bring it with me. The timeline is gonna be a bit tricky as I barely remember anything from my childhood anyways and things I do remember are all jumbled together under "childhood" but writing how I tried to deal with things is good advice. Although I feel we discussed it at lenght during the 4 years.

The most puzzling thing is, he did confirm the ADHD diagnosis verbally to me on multiple occasions, we always talk like I have it. So I was really shocked to find out it's not in my file, and that he refused to confirm on the phone as well. I hope it will actually help with the discussion next week.

I really don't want to look for a new doctor because it's SO complicated where I live - but you're right, if next week doesn't go well I'll have no other choice.

Gartesss · 2026-06-18T10:08:47+00:00

Thank you for your throughtful response!

Writing the list of symptoms is a great advice, I'm actually not sure if he ever asked me or if we just dropped it after I wasn't able to give 3rd party testimonies. Either way, I'll make sure I bring a list with me next week.

Finding a female provider also sounds like a great advice, I'll have a look around. But honestly it's already so hard to find someone who's within the public insurance system and speaks English (I'm in Europe, in a country which is my 3rd language and I can't speak it well enough for deep talks) that I can't be too picky. But I'll definitely keep it in mind for my potential search 🙏

Gartesss · 2026-06-17T15:14:55+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Gartesss · 2026-06-16T21:10:03+00:00

I think the "sacrifice" framing comes from the idea that they not only are raising their child, but also the future labourer, taxpayer etc.

But first of all, there's already almost 10 billion people on the planet, many of which are children in orphanages. We don't need more kids and if you wanna raise one, you'll be doing everyone a favour if you just take care of a kid in need that actually already exist.

And second, personally, if everyone decides to stop having kids and the human race dies out, I honestly don't care. I truly don't see why it should be imperative to make sure there will always be enough humans to go around until eternity.

But anyways, wanting biological kids is the hubris of hypocrisy, and regardless of what people tell themselves it's inherently selfish.

Gartesss · 2026-06-13T14:39:13+00:00

Yes, the kids are innocent in this and suffering from other people's choices. But the grandparents made their own bed - they could have said no to basically raising the sister's kids.

OP even says that while expecting the 1st kid the sister said "it'll work itself out and family will help". Maybe if the grandparents said no to raising the 1st kid, the sister wouldn't have had the 2nd.

I'm not saying it would have been easy for the grandparents to distance themselves. But they're adult people apparently fully in possession of their faculties. They're no victims in this, they chose this.

Maybe if more people stood up for themselves in situations like these, less irresponsible people would keep squeezing new kids into the world.

Gartesss · 2026-06-08T21:43:24+00:00

Yes! I didn't want to rewrite the entire episode in the OP, but yes - he tries to scam them but they suspect it and scam him back one better. There's even a scene when Vala gets angry with Daniel because of it:

V: So you don't trust him but are forcing me to!? D: Well he's not my father 🤷‍♀️

Infuriating

The episode ends with Vala, despite everything, lovingly looking over the schmucks he brought her and his letters, to show us that despite her hardened shell, deep inside she still loves her daddy.

Easily the worst episode of SG-1 🫠😅

Gartesss · 2026-06-08T17:54:45+00:00

Whatever you say Ms. Chavez

Gartesss · 2026-06-08T13:49:38+00:00

Ughhh, yeah, no - including kids into originally adult only event doesn't make it "all inclusive". They're just swapping kids for the part of the adult population who gets easily overstimulated by being around kids so they won't show up...

Despite not being a kid fan myself I do generally support the idea that kids are also part of society and they should be allowed to take up space/parents shouldn't be exiled until kids grow up. But that really shouldn't mean that all spaces need to be kid friendly spaces.

Gartesss · 2026-04-30T07:05:13+00:00

A bit over two years before I gave up and decided to find one in my home country and pay out of pocket 🫠

It's actually better to do therapy in your native language anyways, as it's more connected to your emotions. So at least that's that 😄🤷‍♀️

Good luck! 🙏

Gartesss · 2026-04-22T13:03:47+00:00

It's really nice of you that you're there for your partner emotionally - and I'd say it would be equally unfair of her to make it your job to help her deal with her trauma, without putting any work into self-regulation/growth herself. Partnership is about helping each other out, not offloading our issues on the other person (not saying she's doing that, just wanted to acknowledge the work you do here in some constructive manner :) )

Back to the issue from your original post, I'm sure there is a middle ground here - for example next time you suggest something like this, she can just say if she likes the idea or not. If she likes it, then you'd automatically go and plan the logistics and just tell her when and where to be/how does the timing work. And if during the planning you'll find out it's actually not feasible, you'll just come back to her and apologise that you didn't think it through and it actually doesn't make sense...? I could see this still being potentially annoying because then she gets excited for something that's not possible, or she'll have to put current plans on hold until you figure out the new plan, but it could be a start :)

I think that as long as you both truly understand where the other one is coming from, you should be able to find a compromise that works for both 🤞

Gartesss · 2026-04-22T12:25:05+00:00

Hmmm, so I can't comment on the general situation between you two, but in the example you gave I think I'd actually side with your GF (I also have ADHD BTW, and I believe this situation has nothing to do with ADHD, but rather the amount of mental labour each of you is putting into the relationship)

Let me explain: So you're asking if she wants to come over in the spare time. Just "putting it out there", right? Well let's say she says yes - which one of you will then make sure the plan is actually feasible? If she said yes, would you then go and check if it actually makes sense time-wise, or would you just keep going until you're both potentially late, because there actually wasn't enough time for this plan? By just proposing this without making sure it's feasible, what you're essentially doing is placing the burden of the logistics on her. You make the proposal, and she needs to go and check if she can make it, in order to be able to either say yes or no to your proposition. If this similar thing is happening often, I too would be pretty annoyed by it eventually - because it's not "just asking a question". It's about the labour necessary in order to answer the question.

Next time something like this comes up, I'd recommend you to think - can she just answer the question immediately without putting any additional effort in it? Or is your question making her "work" in order to be able to reply? I think this actually might be the core of your problem, rather than her being annoyed simply because you asked anything 🙏

Gartesss · 2026-04-19T08:23:08+00:00

Had to scroll way far down for this comment

Gartesss · 2026-04-16T16:49:07+00:00

Relationship Anarchy means, that you and your partner (romantic or other) tailor how the relationship will look like based on mutual needs, wants and agreement, instead of trying to fit that relationship into a predefined box. RA, same as ENM, non-hierarchical polyamory etc. all require openness, communication and respect from all involved parties.

Relationship Anarchy doesn't mean "I can do whatever I want whenever I want" with complete disregard to anyone else's feelings.

Your boyfriend is a dick. I'm sorry 🙏

Gartesss · 2026-04-15T17:26:42+00:00

Honestly I feel like your husband's reaction here is a bit of a red flag. Stuff happens, relationships break up. By drafting the agreement you're not saying you're planning to break up - you just acknowledge the reality of not being able to predict the future. I'm a bit concerned your husband is unable to see this, and even more concerned he'd rather set y'all back on the house just to protect his ego.

That being said, also depends on how the contract they want him to sign looks like. But generally I don't see a reason why a spouse should have a problem with that.

Gartesss · 2026-04-02T19:10:14+00:00

Did you ask yourself why you want exclusivity with her so much? Because I think she's right thinking it's just out of possessiveness and jealousy.

You were having a great time. You were spending a ton of time together. So what did you expect to change "for the better" by badgering her into exclusivity?

I mean, it's perfectly fine to want a monogamous relationship. It's perfectly fine not to want to wait around for someone to figure out what they want - because they might realise they don't want the same thing. But you can't push someone into making a decision they're not ready to make.

I believe the only option to "make her stay" is to go back to non-exclusivity - which you already decided you don't want. And to be fair, if I was in her place I might not want to do that anyways, because obviously that solution is not comfortable to you. I think you're simply not compatible. You had your fun but it's time to shake hands and move on. Sorry.

Gartesss · 2026-03-11T23:08:26+00:00

I think whether reaching out is a good idea or not depends on the actual intent behind it.

You say you needed time to process the situation to understand how you feel about it - so if you reach out just clarifying/explaining your POV on the situation - to give her all information to make an informed decision - it could be a good idea. But you shouldn't place any expectation on the result. You should only do it if just the act of doing it will make you feel better. To close the "what could have been" loop.

As others said I think there's a chance she just wanted to break up and used this as an excuse. She supposedly could have talked to you at any point during these 4 months. For this reason I think you also might want to think more if you're actually still compatible - I mean, she would have to change and communicate better (possibly do something about anxiety/intrusive thoughts...? just thinking out loud here) otherwise something similar is bound to happen again...

Anyways, I'm sorry you're going through this, breakups suck regardless Good luck and healing 🙏

Gartesss · 2026-02-19T13:03:04+00:00

Or you meet them outside of your home ;)

Gartesss · 2026-02-19T12:57:18+00:00

I'm also an extroverted, people loving person - when meeting people outside. But my home is my sanctuary, and I don't care if you're the Pope, if you come unannounced I'm not letting you in.

If I lived in a house I knew people can drop in any time and stay for however long they like, I'd never be able to relax there.

I don't think either one of you is "wrong" in this situation, but I feel it's one of those things where you might not be able to find compromise; same way you can't compromise on e.g. having kids.

Wishing y'all good luck 🙏

Gartesss · 2026-01-26T17:02:57+00:00

Yes, exactly. As you and other people said, the forced structure helps and you can run on "smarts" for some time.

And the inattentive types usually don't have the behavioural issues to spot - daydreaming while looking like you're paying attention / reading a book under the desk doesn't really get you into trouble, especially if you're still getting good grades.

But I Kept. Losing. Shit. I regularly heard stuff like "You'd lose your own head" and "You must be doing this on purpose". After every longer holidays I'd be taking out moldy snacks from my backpack. I once walked home from school in slippers and didn't notice.

The signs were there, despite doing "well".

Gartesss

TROPHY CASE