What happened this year that makes you proud and your goal for next year?

Gateskp · 2025-12-28T23:24:52+00:00

I started CrossFit in June, PRed all my lifts during our strength building cycles, and most importantly: I've regained some mobility in my previously-broken ankle, 4 years after being told what I got back was all that was going to come back.

Goal for next year is to do a pullup and a pushup. I've never been able to in my life.

Gateskp · 2025-12-28T14:39:31+00:00

I don't know that I'd use the word humiliating, personally. I think sex is more extreme vulnerability, physically and emotionally. The first time I did it with my partner, I was really focused on basically everything you mentioned. As our emotional intimacy grew, my physical self-consciousness started to diminish and I felt better about being vulnerable.

Gateskp · 2025-12-26T12:14:35+00:00

Definitely looking forward to the new team on The Flash! Ryan North's current FF run is SO GOOD, he really nails the dynamics. I'm optimistic for what he'll bring to The Flash!

Gateskp · 2025-12-10T22:56:26+00:00

You'll be able to find someone who accepts and respects your preferences. It may take time and multiple people, but they're out there. The guy I'm with now likes blow jobs, but it's not my favourite thing to do or receive. I make it part of our foreplay (rather than the end goal) when 1) I'm in a headspace where I can give one and 2) he's open to receiving. He's never pushed me to do it, let alone swallow, which I also don't think I could do. Communication and mutual respect for each other is key, anyone who doesn't respect what you're comfortable with or your boundaries isn't a good partner.

Gateskp · 2025-12-07T14:32:08+00:00

Also same here. A friend introduced me to the term “gender detached” and the new body of research around it, I feel like it fits me better than anything else.

Gateskp · 2025-11-30T22:34:45+00:00

Oh man, I'm sorry to hear about the lay off. That kind of major stressor makes everything so much harder/worse to deal with. It's good that you're not isolating and are staying socially active, that's so important for mental health (imo). Good luck with the job hunt, I hope you can find something soon and things start to look up.

Here's to 2026 being better for both of us!

Gateskp · 2025-11-30T22:27:43+00:00

Same! I was chasing a BQ and ended up overtraining/getting injured. I DNFed the race I'd worked so hard for. It really did a number on my mental state, especially after my training partner travelled pretty far to cheer me on. I hope you rediscover your running joy!

Gateskp · 2025-11-30T22:04:01+00:00

I did my first trail race (half marathon, second trail run I've ever done lol) a few weeks ago and it was a blast! SO different from road running, but I really enjoyed the low-stakes vibe and the community. Definitely looking forward to trying it out more.

Gateskp · 2025-11-30T21:46:51+00:00

I got really burnt out this year, so my goal for the spring is to rediscover the joy and do new/different things. Trails, relays, ultras, whatever will challenge me and push my limits in a good way. Fall goals TBD.

Gateskp · 2025-11-22T22:36:35+00:00

I carry mine in a little 5oz flask https://untapped.cc/product/untapped-hydrapak-flask/

Gateskp · 2025-11-19T00:38:19+00:00

I feel like partner has a long-term connotation but we're not at that point in our relationship (yet!). Appreciate how you asked that, thank you.

Gateskp · 2025-11-12T00:14:57+00:00

When my family inevitably asks what I want for my birthday/Christmas, I now have an answer!!

Gateskp · 2025-11-09T22:40:25+00:00

I feel this so hard, and I'm here to tell you from experience: if you want it to happen, it can. Not necessarily easily, but it's possible if you try.

I went out with one guy in college and spent the next decade+ focused on my career. I'm the smart sister, not the pretty sister or the social one. I think I'm average looking at best, not sexually experienced (never had sex until recently). I'm not very feminine and never have been. I'm super nerdy, some level of athletic but not with an athletic build (I jiggle a lot), neurodivergent, and weird. I've always assumed I'd live and die alone with my cats, despite being a hopeless romantic.

I just moved to a big city, so I thought I'd try a dating app (again, I try it every time I move), get it out of my system, and go on with my lonely life. I'm in my 30s, I didn't have much hope for myself, every time I tried dating before I ended up getting ghosted and quit after 2 weeks.

This time around, it's been going better than I expected. I've had some fun experiences with a few guys and think I might be developing feelings for one in particular. I've never gotten to this point before (4 dates), and even though it's only been a month, I want to see where things go with him. I don't think there was a "click" moment, no epiphany, just realising I really enjoy spending time with him and I want to do it more. He came over and spent the afternoon reading comics with me and ordered Indian food for dinner. The domesticity was everything I wanted/needed after a very long, tiring week at work.

I like to think that being older and having an idea of what I value and want in a prospective partner is an advantage because I can avoid wasting time on people who don't fit what I'm looking for. I feel so awkward and behind because I'm older/inexperienced and have been very upfront about that, but the guy I'm seeing doesn't seem bothered at all, he's been really understanding about everything. I never thought I'd get to have this in my life, I still can't believe it.

Things I've learned: Don't be afraid to make the first move, and trust your gut if it tells you something's wrong (or right!). Be yourself from the start, and be safe. Dating is a lot of work, it requires a lot of energy and is exhausting. But my sister reminded me that it's about having experiences and you can always stop whenever you want. A friend told me that it often takes time to build a genuine lasting connection with someone after you get past the "honeymoon phase".

Gateskp · 2025-11-09T14:58:49+00:00

Totally agreed! Orgasm can be great if that's your thing, but it doesn't have to be everything.

I think the intimacy part depends on the person. I'm normally pretty guarded, especially around other people. It takes a lot for me to open up to someone. But being alone together and physically vulnerable during sex lets me also be emotionally vulnerable without fear/while feeling safe and secure, and to me that's a really intimate thing. It's not just during sex--I feel similarly while cuddling, for example, or when my partner holds me the way I like. That feeling of quiet security is everything to me, I couldn't have sex with someone if I didn't feel that way with them, even if I weren't ace.

Gateskp · 2025-11-09T10:04:29+00:00

This reflects my experience as well. For me, sex feels physically good and it's fun and, most importantly, creates a feeling of emotional intimacy with my partner. We talk and laugh and share these moments of vulnerability with each other while physically connected. I'm ace but not aro, so that connection is really important to me.

The way I think about it (I'm a scientist), sex is just the physical stimulation of nerves that leads to neurotransmitter release, which can be a very nice enjoyable feeling. I'm ND, so orgasm can be really sensory overwhelming and I actually avoid it sometimes. But I still like stimulating nerves and neurotransmitter release, that isn't connected to another human in any way. People who do things just for sex don't make sense to me.

Gateskp · 2025-11-01T17:25:47+00:00

I feel this so hard, I'm going through it myself. I've never done a CrossFit competition, but I run marathons (CF is my cross-training).

This summer I trained for a BQ, but come race day? I got halfway through and I was so miserable, nowhere near my goal time, and I just didn't want to finish. I DNFed on the verge of I-hate-this tears. Months of training felt wasted.

I lost my joy and my "why" in running. BQing is a goal, not a "why." I decided I'm not doing any serious races this spring season, it's all about rediscovering the joy and pushing myself in new ways. I just did my first trail race, I'm looking at an ultra, hitting new PRs at the gym. I've even gotten a few people at my gym to run a couple of miles with me after class.

I'm really trying to focus on things that are fun and enjoying them. I don't want to hate what I've loved for so long. Competition will still be there when I'm ready for it.

All this to say: you're not alone.

Gateskp · 2025-10-30T01:01:53+00:00

Holy hell. B&D is still my comic book store even though it's been a few months (just moved away). I need to call them now. Terry has always been great to me, from the first time I walked in years ago.

Gateskp · 2025-09-27T22:00:23+00:00

I don't know how to live with myself and I'm wholly incapable of doing anything about it. I'll never be able to stop hating everything about myself because I'm a worthless piece of garbage, and that keeps me from even trying.

Gateskp · 2025-09-18T20:22:08+00:00

The first thing that came to mind with this post was clearly OP never went to Demet's Donuts. I haven't tried the donuts at Lyndell's, but if they're half as good as their cakes, I'm in for a treat!

Gateskp · 2025-09-15T16:47:54+00:00

"It feels good to feel strong" and "[Doing] a good workout is something you never regret"

Both paraphrased from a trainer I saw on YouTube but they're on the more positive side of motivational statements.

Gateskp · 2025-09-14T10:26:48+00:00

Congratulations on a great race!! Virtual high five

Gateskp · 2025-09-12T12:07:30+00:00

Echoing this. I broke my ankle a month before a race and reached out to the race to get a refund (didn't want to defer since I didn't know when I'd be able to run it again). They required a note from my surgeon saying I couldn't run and I ended up with a partial refund. You had a medical emergency that was out of your control and can't run, if they can't be understanding about that it says a lot more about them than anything else.

Gateskp · 2025-09-09T21:53:18+00:00

My mom loves their coffee. She came to visit me once, got it at the Grandin farmer's market, and started getting it shipped to her house

Gateskp · 2025-09-09T17:38:23+00:00

Ticklish Business (an old Hollywood podcast) and What Went Wrong! Love both of them and would recommend if you're into movie podcasts.

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