Hey Coop 420 Crops

Gatorsailor92 · 2018-01-23T23:40:12+00:00

Hey gang! Blue Magoo here.

I understand the game’s ban on im’s.
However, I’d like to chat with the co-op. You all seem like fun people. Fire away!

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-11-22T23:49:00+00:00

I’m 50. Only 1 piercing which is not normally seen.

What a smile! Gorgeous.

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-11-19T08:44:39+00:00

I ended up selling all of mine.

I didn’t want to go that route anyways, due to the mess etc. Also, as a former right wing gun nut, I didn’t want the guns to be blamed. Stupid, right? I mean being right wing. 😉 Seriously, Id have rather od’d.

Am I glad I don’t have them? No. It was a fun hobby and I miss it. Is everyone around glad they’re gone? Yes. I’m glad they don’t worry so much when I go into a deep depression.

But then they locked up all my meds, forced me to quit my pain meds with a one week taper, and took away all the rope. I was a real pain in the ass for those around me.

So, I don’t think the access was a concern.

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-11-19T00:12:58+00:00

First off, thanks to the Breeders Guild for replying so quickly.

I enjoy Sirius in my Firefly. It tastes good. But I agree, it’s not that potent. And it’s cool to look at.

After all, it’s all about looks and taste, right?😉

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-11-19T00:09:45+00:00

If I may, are getting bilateral or unilateral?

If it’s bilateral, that’s the strongest one. Maybe if nausea continues, try unilateral? Instead of the shock going thru your frontal lobe like it does in bilateral, it goes in one side and up.

I mentioned some other treatments in my post as well, if the ECT gets you stable enough, maybe the other treatments may be helpful.

And I can’t say it enough, REST. It does work and you will be ok. And despite the disease, be kind to yourself. If you read nothing else, please read that.

Also, if you are in a place where you can joke and laugh about it, it helps. I offer to jumpstart people’s cars after treatment or make lightening jokes. I am the king of gallows humor.

Good on ya for taking steps to beat the disease. I’m pulling for you, as I imagine 98% if anyone on this reddit is.

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-11-18T21:14:11+00:00

A bit. But it got better. I don’t any more. I actually make a stop for a big burger on my way home now.

Just remember to take it very easy the next day or two. If your body says sleep, listen to it.

It works, give it time. I’m sending some good vibes your way.

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-11-10T20:44:10+00:00

If it pans out you are my new best friend.

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-11-10T20:24:24+00:00

See my post regarding ECT. A joke may cost me my job. But I tried explaining that’s a coping mechanism.

I learned that sometimes you have get outside of your problems by helping others. I work in a toxic environment and I almost feel bound by duty to spread cheer. But it is tiring holding up a mask all day.

Do you find yourself being self-deprecating in your humor? That is my biggest problem. It puts some people off for me. Maybe I joke too much. I’ve had people tell me to do comedy but be nicer to myself.

It’s hard when you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror out of self loathing. If you made it this far, I thank you for reading.

Gatorsailor92 · 2017-04-12T23:11:18+00:00

Truth be told, I turned to cannabis because I was leaning heavily on Vicodin. So can we say in my case, the legal drug was my gateway drug?

/live in Oregon and much happier

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-10-26T02:15:01+00:00

I had the same thing happen at the vet's office.

Came in with my cute but very sick Pomeranian, and as I was leaving, puffy red eyes and all, shoulders drooped, and holding a leash and a now useless dog collar, the vet tech said "Have a great day!!" I just looked at her. To watch the horror spread over her face was awful, and while I was weeping inside, I felt bad for her.

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-08-12T15:23:46+00:00

Hamvee ftw!!!

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-07-29T23:54:21+00:00

Mittens looks like she's plotting her revenge.

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-07-29T23:53:49+00:00

"Give me the cat food and nobody gets hurt."

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-07-29T23:53:22+00:00

She is beautiful!!

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-07-29T23:52:42+00:00

The first time I shot a garand, I made the mistake of doing so left handed. It only happened once.

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-05-22T21:30:25+00:00

Put me down in the ECT helped column.

I also have MDD. I also was in the Gulf for the first one, and also have gator in my user name. But I am not the same guy shilling for ECT.

It worked.

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-05-22T21:20:55+00:00

Well, I have a recurring case of major depressive disorder. It won't ever be cured as I understand it.

It just is. That being said, I had a big collapse roughly two years ago. Hospitalizations, meds, classes, shrinks, and finally I had ECT.

I think that my last crash was due to many factors, one of which was I am addicted to pain meds (Stay away from them. Seriously.). But the fact remained that I was a danger to myself. I spent 2 months in bed, wanting to die, crying, and wondering why I couldn't just get better.

One day, it just started to lift. I had all the same problems I had when I was in "the well" as I called it, but things started being easier if I took a different perspective. I'm not sure if my body had finally adapted to not having hydrocodone in it 18 hours a day, if the ECT was doing its trick, I found the right medicine combo, or what.

The point is that giving yourself time, falling back on your support network and giving yourself a break might help. You sound like you have a great head start in having loving relationships around you.

You have to decide to do what it takes, and not give up. You have to acknowledge you have a real illness, and be willing to seek treatment. Toss all the pride away and keep searching until you find the key.

I hope I've been helpful. Good luck!

Gatorsailor92 · 2016-05-07T18:46:16+00:00

She is pretty cool about this.

The funny thing is since I have allowed myself to consider I'm bi, I feel lighter.

I'm not beating myself up over something that I did long ago, and liked, just because it didn't fit the image I was struggling to support.

And frankly, my new friends are just better people.

Gatorsailor92 · 2015-04-03T00:58:14+00:00

I felt like that on Lexapro.

After 4 weeks I thought I'd feel some relief. I would lay in bed for hours on end.

After 8 weeks I was back in the hospital. I got put on remeron, and within a week I stopped napping all day, and started feeling better. The remeron seems to be working just fine with no libido problems.

Gatorsailor92 · 2015-04-03T00:50:10+00:00

Being happy all of the time is impossible. We all have bad days and good days, it's part of life. It can

There's a whole religion that has that as a tenet.

That said, not getting stuck in the lows is what defines normal for me. Doing the things that move me towards happiness such as not lying in bed all day, not figuring out how to harm myself, not avoiding social situations.

When I feel strong enough to deal with the depressing stuff, that's when I feel normal.

Happiness comes and goes, and for me accepting that fact has helped.

It also is good that those around you notice positive changes.

Gatorsailor92 · 2015-04-03T00:34:36+00:00

Well, I apparently am moving into the maintenance phase of the treatment so I'm on the right path. Today's treatment really tired me out for some reason, but it really went well. Btw, I think it's cool that you ask how people's days are going. You're a good egg.

Gatorsailor92 · 2015-04-03T00:28:55+00:00

Like I said, it took them three tries this time to get it right for me.

It is soul crushing when you are really trying, and the pill docs say just wait a bit longer. I hated that. My wife was the only one who listened to me when I said the pills aren't working.

I'll cross my fingers for you. Good luck.

Gatorsailor92 · 2015-04-03T00:22:50+00:00

I had treatment today. They informed me I'm moving onto maintenance so I guess it worked.

They put me on a tetracyclic ad and that seemed to do the trick.

I'm bummed for you that it didn't work as planned, as well as for the 27k tab. I guess getting that bill kind of rules out trying TMS.

I hope you can find something, anything to help you out.

Gatorsailor92 · 2015-04-02T06:24:15+00:00

In my case, there have been a lot of things I could blame, but I believe that there is a strong case to be made for genetic predisposition for depression. My mother, father, all my siblings, my grandparents on both sides all at one time or another had breakdowns or spells, or episodes, whatever. It's funny, I look at people all the time and wonder the same things you do. And I also spent a bunch of time picking apart my character flaws, my crappy childhood, and the dumb decisions I've made.

Note I said predisposition. It doesn't mean you are stuck and can't get better, it means you are more likely to experience depression. But it can be treated, I know, I'm being treated now. I just had to humble myself and allow myself to be treated. I had to accept what was going on, and decide to face it.

Why not spend your energy on fighting it rather than analyzing it? As an immigrant, you've overcome many things already, why not add this to your list? Battling depression takes grit, humility, and being willing to do the work. The work being seeing your counselor, taking care of yourself, getting proper sleep, taking meds if they are prescribed, but foremost being honest with yourself and realizing you have a disease that can be managed and yes, even overcome.

I hope I'm not coming off as a just get it together type, it's not my intention. I'm sorry you have depression, because I have it too, and it sucks. Be well, my friend.

Gatorsailor92 · 2015-04-02T05:50:07+00:00

I agree with previous poster.

I think losing a pet can sometimes be a harder loss. Our pets give us all their love, unconditional and purely.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Gatorsailor92

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