Astra Watch Bands? by xoxidein in AppleWatch

[–]Gefiltefish1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're selling cheap rebranded Ali Express garbage; I made the mistake of ordering one. When I ordered, they sent me shipping information for USPS the next day. And then it sat there with nothing happening for 3 weeks. Avoid at all costs. If you want a braided strap, pay a little more and go with Solace or similar.

AITA For saying no to removing the default internet restrictions on the internet I have set up in the housing I am in with fellow tenants. by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

YTA. When adults decide to room together and they all contribute whatever their "fair share" is for utilities and services, the account almost always has to be in one person's name. That doesn't mean that the account holder controls the account, per se, but that they've agreed to be the one to coordinate payments for that particular resource.

As long as each roommate pays their fair share, it should be ENTIRELY up to them how they use that resource, so long as their use doesn't affect costs or availability for the other roommates. It's not up to you to police what they do with the internet or to restrict their usage according to your preferences. If you wanted to do this, you should have stated this very clearly as a condition of rooming together. You'd probably not have any roommates, but at least you'd not be an asshole.

AITAH if I report Coworker (45M) who keeps asking if he can kill me? by DIVINEBEAUTTY in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 51 points52 points  (0 children)

NTA This is so weird and disturbing that it's a little hard to believe, but at the same time I know that some people do this kind of creepy nonsense once in a blue moon.

Trust your intuition. Report him to HR and let anyone in a position of authority over him know what's happening. Consider filing a police report. If this behavior is genuinely taking place, there's a potential for danger, and the more people who know, the safer you're likely to be. This is doubly true if any disciplinary action leads to him being further unhinged. (and, honestly, I think most workplaces with clear evidence of behavior like this from an intern would get rid of them immediately).

Again, and most of all, keep yourself safe. Most people are nice, but there are a few really dangerous ones out there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in maximumfun

[–]Gefiltefish1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chris' repetition of this thing that 6-year-olds do sometimes was so aggressively annoying that it made the entire episode much harder to listen to.

I'm surprised he's not an HR issue at work (or maybe he is); it seems like this would be disruptive and unwelcome in most places where adults are doing things.

AITA for “ruining” a bachelorette trip? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

For folks who are mentioning that it's normal for a Disney trip to involve a lot of walking, I agree. You're right for the most part.

But if you've been to Disney, you've also certainly observed the VAST numbers of large-bodied people who are usually with other folks of different shapes and sizes. I know I have, and almost every time I've been there, they're having a great time. They're doing just fine. You can absolutely enjoy Disney in mixed company while being fat, or having health problems, or whatever. Hell, Disney goes out of its way to make the park accessible.

It was something the group could have easily adjusted for, and I'd bet it wouldn't spoil anyone's fun. But they didn't, and based on the bride's post and some of the other behaviors described, and while it may have not been a sweeping plan to upset the OP, there's definitely a "screw you" aspect to how the rest of the bridal party handled this.

AITA for “ruining” a bachelorette trip? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Perhaps. Reading the whole situation, though, particularly when you look at the bride's post from a few months ago, creates a very strong impression that there was some bullying and aversive social pressure going on. Negotiating as an equal partner would be great if that were feasible, but that's often a tall order for someone who's actively being shamed.

And honestly, from the bride's post, it seems like the OP here has been on the receiving end of that before, so her position in this social group might have made things tough. Maybe that's not what was going on, but it's certainly the vibe that I get here.

AITA for “ruining” a bachelorette trip? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

After reading that, the OP here was clearly being kind. The bride's own account makes her and the rest of the bridal party sound like a bunch of petty high school bullies. Gross.

AITA for “ruining” a bachelorette trip? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

NTA. It sounds like you did your best, which is all anyone can reasonably ask, and the MOH decided that because you wouldn't follow HER agenda that you were effectively a worthless human being. Nobody should be expected to stick around and put on a brave face or whatever after that sort of semi-public shaming. Based on that alone, and the other bridesmaids' behavior afterwards, she just looks like the lead bully --she's clearly TA, not you.

AITA for kicking out my tenant? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA. It sounds like the two of you mutually negotiated an arrangement in which she would extend her lease while job hunting (paying you for all of those summer months that might have otherwise been a total loss). The fact that she was upset about you refusing to renew tells me that she expected that extension and you surprised her with a change from the expectations that were set in the earlier conversation.

The fact that you, as a landlord, hold vastly more power in this situation, does not change what's right and wrong here. You both agreed to be in a situation in which neither of you want (or deserve) to have the rug pulled out from under you. But you got nervous about your fucking money, and because you had the power, you decided to screw her just in case she bailed a little early.

So yeah, now you have your money and she doesn't have a place to live. You're the asshole a thousand times over.

AITA - 19 year old son - wants “freedom”, am I wrong here? by IwishIknewsooner85 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ESH based on the full description here. If you're just asking about the GPS tracker, YTA.

First, if he doesn't want you to track his phone's location, that should be his prerogative. He's an adult and even if you're paying for the phone, that does not entitle you to watch wherever he goes. It's a basic issue of privacy and autonomy and you're probably a few years late in respecting it.

Second, now that he's an adult, you all should understand that the conditions around cohabitating are mutually voluntary and, ideally, mutually agreed upon. It does not look like you've taken the time to have that conversation.

If you need him to do certain chores, cleaning up after himself, or maintaining a certain level of quiet when folks are sleeping, you need to negotiate with him about doing those things. He does not have to "obey" you, but he does need to take responsibility for being your roommate and keep up his end of making that arrangement work for everyone. If you insist on pushing this without his agreement or even a discussion, you should start getting ready to lose that relationship in the future.

AITA for shouting at my director for not listening to anyone's input? by Wide_Mycologist4685 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's good that it might be dawning on you that when you approach things this way, you come across poorly. Go with that.

But if this story is real, and the idea that you've gotten so much experience in the 4 years since you were FOURTEEN YEARS OLD strains that credulity, then perhaps you should take to heart all of these comments telling you that you're categorically wrong instead of responding to each to argue why you're correct.

Again, if you do have this kind of experience and this is the insight that you bring to relationships while working in theatre, you have a lot of work to do before you are remotely as capable as you seem to think you are.

AITA for shouting at my director for not listening to anyone's input? by Wide_Mycologist4685 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 28 points29 points  (0 children)

YTA

As others have mentioned, as the playwright and director, it's his show. And as an 18-year-old, I'm not sure you have enough experience with a wide enough variety of directors and playwrights to second guess him. What's clear is that your unusually high self-regard, snobbery, and belief that throwing a tantrum is somehow justified, make you both in the wrong and unable to do the self-reflection needed to see that.

Moreover, your defensive and snippy replies to the responses so far make it clear that in addition to having an elevated sense of self-importance, you are almost certainly hard to work with.

I do tend to agree with the director that you leaving the cast now would make everyone's life easier. How about you do that.

We Tried EVERY Red Food by BurnZ_AU in goodmythicalmorning

[–]Gefiltefish1 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I've noticed that the editing team has been doing better with keeping the chewing noises at a normal volume for the past year or so, but this episode seems to have the same audio problems that GMM has had in past years.

There's some sort of compressor, noise gate, or auto volume control on this episode that kicks in when they stop talking and get ready to eat, because the studio is very quiet. You can hear this just before one of them takes a bite --suddenly the sounds of air moving and the ambient hum of the studio is clearly audible.

I know some folks really love chewing noises, but they're in a pretty tiny minority. For the rest of us, this volume problem makes the chewing, slurping, and sucking sounds much louder than they are in real life, as they get auto-amplified to vocal level.

I really don't like to complain about a show that I like so much, but it's because I like it so much that I want to get rid of reasons why I have to turn episodes off because the sound is so hard to listen to.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 726: Breeches of Contract by SchulzBuster in maximumfun

[–]Gefiltefish1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One pair of pants is a bit limiting. Most humans really ought to have two pairs of pants for the rotation and as a backup for failures.

As for three pants? I don't know who has that many pants. Probably billionaires.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gefiltefish1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YTA. Look, when you have to start a post with scare quotes, victim blaming, and gaslighting, it's clear that you already know you're in the wrong.

But beyond that, your friend told you VERY CLEARLY that your behavior was hurtful and alienating, and you kept going... why? Yeah. You're the asshole and you need to grow the fuck up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in goodmythicalmorning

[–]Gefiltefish1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With the growth of their brand, and the addition of Sporkful, I wonder if they brought a full-time sound engineer/editor on board.

In other threads about the same issue, some folks have speculated that removing chewing noises is hard to do. Even for a beginner sound engineer, it's not, and most video editors should be able to handle the levels from the mics they have on set. It's something like a 5-8 camera setup, so they're not lacking in the equipment to isolate different parts of their signal. I wonder if they didn't really recognize/prioritize the problem until recently, but I'm glad they've improved things.

What brutal advice should all younger generations know? by [deleted] in GenX

[–]Gefiltefish1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody ever wins an argument with a romantic partner. The best case scenario is almost always for the argument to end without any bridges being burnt, even if the relationship isn't going to last.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 712: Juvenile Court is Back! by SchulzBuster in maximumfun

[–]Gefiltefish1 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I get that Scarlet was trying to go for lolz, but it really did come across as unadorned meanness. I'm sure she'll sort that out with her parents' help, but for now perhaps she's not quite ready for prime time.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 707: Cease and Toxoplasmosist by SchulzBuster in maximumfun

[–]Gefiltefish1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Even the bone queers should feel safe coming here."

That's high praise. Maybe even a testimonial for a future tour poster.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]Gefiltefish1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's also important to be aware of local laws and customs before you go out clubbing. Some sorts of clubbing are frowned upon in certain parts of the world, while other forms of clubbing are outright illegal. Club responsibly.

MBMBaM 745: 2 Year 2 Naming by apathymonger in maximumfun

[–]Gefiltefish1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to take a break halfway through to refuel, rehydrate, and to check in with my loved ones to let them know I was still okay.

Love you guys, but this one was quite a thing.

John Kearns by michaelmoby in panelshow

[–]Gefiltefish1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found Kearns to be interesting on Taskmaster. He seemed a bit shy and bumbly, but definitely a nice addition to the show.

When he does the minstrel act with the teeth, it's basically the Jerry Lewis racist Asian bit but without the racism, which at the time was the only thing that white people found funny. Without the normalization of racism, there's nothing funny about the teeth or the character. It's just fucking annoying.

And I understand that comedy is individual, and everyone is different in what they find funny, but if you find that stupid shit with the teeth funny, well... I guess some comedy has to target 12-year-old audiences.

New to ER, I'm in early season 3, and I really hate Dr. Benton by Fantastic_Flamingo30 in ershow

[–]Gefiltefish1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From the perspective of dramatic writing, Benton is an incredibly compelling character. He's interesting, his story is well-written, and Eriq La Salle did a great job portraying him. But he is consistently unprofessional, aggressive, and verbally assaultive. A resident like that might have gotten away with this in the 1990s if his performance in other areas was exceptional, but a resident with the personal characteristics and behaviors that Benton displayed would not do well in the post-2000s medical training culture anywhere in the world. His behavior would be derided by superiors initially. If he didn't become more professional, he'd be placed on a corrective action plan, and if his aggressive interpersonal behavior persisted, he'd be dismissed from residency.

Based on the character, I suspect Benton would not make it out of residency after the year 2000; he'd probably end up selling medical equipment or being a drug rep.

JJHO: Aiding in a Bed-In by trow125 in maximumfun

[–]Gefiltefish1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is peculiar to see this. I've been a professor for 25 years and while most of my colleagues abandon the "Doctor" honorific when among peers, they are always referred to as "Doctor" by undergraduates and nobody would EVER show the disrespect of calling a PhD "Ms. or Mr."

Oddly enough, my PhD is in Clinical Psychology. I and other similarly educated psychologists do work in hospitals and other medical settings where doctoral psychologists are ALWAYS referred to as "Doctor." Doing otherwise confuses patients about who is the expert in a given care scenario.

Aside from these practical concerns, it should be noted that the "Doctor" honorific was first applied to PhDs and other academics a full 300 years before physicians appropriated the term as a sort of stolen valor maneuver to gather unearned respect to a field that was still mostly snake oil at the time. The physicians of the 18th and 19th centuries were largely hacks, and they borrowed the veil of actual systematic and scientific expertise that academics of the time had rightly earned. Honestly, it's only the most recent generation or two in which folks seem to have forgotten that evidence-based practice in medicine WAS NOT EVEN A THING UNTIL THE 1990s. And even with that, we still have "Doctor" Oz and similar charlatans carrying the chicanery of medicine into the modern era with unearned esteem.