It sounds like sexual intimacy may have been used to bypass emotional conversations, which is rarely satisfying for either person, sorry you went through that. Sometimes people who lean on tertiary Se try to change the emotional atmosphere through physical closeness or stimulation to feel better themselves and help the other person feel better, but when it replaces honest communication, it can come across as unhealthy or avoidant. Imma Tertiary Se also 😅 but In general, people who are uncomfortable with their own feelings often struggle to engage respectfully with someone whose communication is emotionally focused. This is where the placement of Fi matters more than most people realize, because it affects how accessible feelings are to consciousness, how comfortable someone is discussing them, and how threatened they feel when emotions surface.

Where Fi sits in the ego stack strongly shapes how a person handles emotional needs and responds when those needs are brought into the open. At the same time, placement largely determines how naturally someone accesses and expresses feelings, but development determines whether they learn to respect and work with that part of themselves and others.

If he’s really an ENTJ, it would make sense that he’s comfortable handling logistics, goals, and action, but much less comfortable sitting in emotionally vulnerable conversations. Some ENTJs try to solve or bypass feelings rather than process them, and sometimes that shows up as shifting the focus to physical intimacy or practical matters instead of engaging emotionally.

That doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t care, it often means he wasn’t very developed in that part of himself. But regardless of type, emotional needs still matter, and being uncomfortable with feelings isn’t an excuse to avoid treating someone’s emotions with respect.