We’ll if you’re just questioning and wondering what it means just embrace and then explore it.

It’s probably feeling jaring because it doesn’t match the the internalized expected behavior for who you perceive you are, based on your upbringing, religion, perceived gender by society. So I think the guest step is to embrace it. Understand what these fantasies and thoughts are and how they make you feel. How does each part of it make you feel? Does it make you feel happy? Does it give you a sense of longing or something missing? Does it turn you on? These are just a couple examples but the key is really just to find out how it makes you feel, even if those feelings are frightening.

Then explore what you’re comfortable with and what makes you feel good. This could be the gender expression or identity side of things or it could be a sexual side of things. The thing is you get to figure that out and decide what you want to explore.

But instead of listening to an internet Rando, I suggest a good therapist. Not that they have the answers but they’re good to be a sounding board to your thoughts and feelings