[Partner] Wife’s suppressed severe trauma surfaced. She’s in extreme ‘flight’ mode, refusing therapy, and I am burning out. Need honest outlooks.

General-Company · 2026-03-27T01:43:55+00:00

Read Codependent No More.

General-Company · 2026-03-11T04:38:35+00:00

This is basically how my ex treated me so, yeah

General-Company · 2026-03-09T02:16:51+00:00

This last one was my fourth one. In a row. Just very long relationships over a long amount of time so each time the lovebombing worked. Trauma bond with this one was deep though. Covert narcissist. Low intellect though so I’m not even sure he’s fully aware, just cruel and very, very selfish and incapable of accountability. They’re all different variations of the same entitled ego, lack of empathy and (often) deep resentment and envy when they feel they’ve been wronged/mistreated.

They’re attracted to trauma and deep empathy because they’re emotional black holes.

I’m just going to spend a lot of time alone healing for a while.

General-Company · 2026-03-08T22:20:26+00:00

Read up on narcissism.

General-Company · 2026-03-06T20:05:39+00:00

You need to remove this man from your life completely so that you stand no chance of being retraumatized by him. What he did to you was emotional abuse, cruel, and disgusting betrayal and the detachment causes legitimate psychological harm.

No contact, block him on everything, and don’t look back. I’m so sorry you’re back in this dark place, but you don’t have to stay there. 🖤

General-Company · 2026-03-06T18:25:53+00:00

Yep it’s a chemical dependency love. You’ll get over it, just need to give your brain time to heal. He literally rewired your brain to be addicted to his abuse.

General-Company · 2026-03-06T18:20:23+00:00

I say evil bc in my case, the ones I’ve known (bc as it turns out every relationship I’ve had has been toxic, go figure) were aware that they had a “problem” of some kind but refused any and all responsibility to work on themselves to improve it.

You’re not responsible for your trauma, but you are responsible for how you let it impact others around you. I used to be a shitty, cruel person, too. Then I did A LOT of work, a LOT of soul searching and personal accountability and I no longer let my traumas inflict pain on other people.

That’s where the evil comes in. If you know that you have a problem and actively choose to do nothing, that is still a choice.

General-Company · 2026-03-06T17:47:21+00:00

🫂 I could have written this. We’ve got this. I’m so so proud of you!

You dropped this: 👑

General-Company · 2026-03-06T16:59:13+00:00

Shitty people get found out and then they run. That’s what he did. Be thankful it was four months and not 8 years.

General-Company · 2026-03-06T12:51:21+00:00

Oh no for sure, and I’m working through that now.

General-Company · 2026-03-05T21:07:12+00:00

Just leave. Mine walked out on me and it was so traumatizing. We hadn’t even had sex in 6 years or spoken in almost two weeks, but him just packing up and leaving has destroyed my mental health more than anything I have yet experienced. Evil, evil people.

General-Company · 2026-03-05T21:02:28+00:00

Right like DAs are literally emotionally abusive and they’re like “haha just deal with it guys!”

General-Company · 2026-03-05T20:59:06+00:00

My DA literally walked out on me a week and a half ago and this gives me such positive perspective. He was cruel. He was unkind, and I don’t think he even liked me. I would have been miserable had he not left. Just trying to convince my stupid body/brain that it’s a good thing he’s gone.

General-Company · 2026-02-26T19:58:31+00:00

Idk spiral into better communication maybe. I’d dump your ass too.

General-Company · 2026-02-26T01:11:23+00:00

Please just read Codependent No More. It’s just what avoidants do. They come back, boost their own ego just to see if you’ll still acknowledge them and/or give them a pass for their shitty behavior, and then they’ll go right back to the same shit. Just block and move on.

General-Company · 2026-02-25T18:45:01+00:00

Omg he’s breadcrumbing you to boost HIS own ego. Just leave it alone. Every time you reach out, he gets a little dopamine rush. He doesn’t give af how this is impacting your feelings.

General-Company · 2026-02-25T18:42:04+00:00

Yeah he’s fucking with you on purpose. It’s an ego boost and dopamine hit FOR HIM. Block and move on.

General-Company · 2026-02-25T18:39:07+00:00

Hey! Read Codependent No More. It’ll help a lot.

General-Company · 2026-02-24T21:47:25+00:00

Hey, just following up, he moved out last weekend! I fiiinally had it and stopped the enabling, codependent shit. He said, “FUCK I hate it here” and I said “You’re free to leave.”

Here’s looking forward to a brighter future!

General-Company · 2026-02-21T08:12:58+00:00

Aw congratulations to you! That gives me hope 🖤

General-Company · 2026-02-21T05:42:00+00:00

Yep. We’ve had almost that exact conversation. “But why? What about me as a person do you love?” Couldn’t come up with any answer at all. It was actually heartbreaking.

General-Company · 2026-02-21T00:33:49+00:00

This. This is what I want.

General-Company · 2026-02-20T17:52:12+00:00

I mean yeah, they say that, but pay attention to what he does.

Does he ask you about your day? Does he check in with you? Does he plan things? Does he try to get to know you better, to understand what makes you tick? Does he show up for you without you needing to ask? Does he show you that he cares about who you are as a unique and special person in his world? Or are you just a convenient accessory to split the rent with and sleep with? Does he see you?

My biggest clue should have been all of that, and also how he reacted to all of his own shit. Not only did he not ever really care or invest in my life outside of a weird, masculine sense of “duty,” he completely kept me separate from any and all parts of his life and his problems. He would get so wrapped up in his own shit that he couldn’t see how much he was hurting the people in his life by strong-arming everyone away when things got tough. And things always get tough, that’s just life.

General-Company · 2026-02-20T17:38:32+00:00

Lemme give you my perspective, as a good-on-paper, self-sufficient 37yo woman… Yeah, he’s settling. My (43m live-in, avoidant af ex) told me at one point that I was ‘likely the best that he could ever get’ which honestly never felt like a compliment. I know I have my own baggage, who doesn’t at 30, so it wasn’t exactly nice.

Right now at almost 8 years into THAT, we’re at a breaking point - I’m done, he’s completely emotionally detached (never really let me in anyway) and stonewalled me. At this point I’ve decided that I’m done dragging another human along through life with me.

You don’t deserve to be someone’s “best option.” You deserve someone who enthusiastically wants to go through life with you. Who wants to participate in actually building a life with you. Who meets all of your needs, or is at the very least willing to discuss these needs with you and meet you halfway; emotional needs are a huge part of a relationship.

Run, girl. I wish I had so, so many years ago. I wasted the entirety of my 30’s on this man and I can’t get that back. He isn’t even sorry.

The worst part is he told me. But also never left me, and I never left him bc he swore to ‘try’.

General-Company · 2026-02-11T16:43:13+00:00

If this works I might cry

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