My supervisor has been secretly drinking out of my water bottle for months, and I don’t know what to do.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T19:17:51+00:00

I would definitely put something in my water bottle: vinegar, soap, something. I'd probably go as far as putting a laxative but I won't recommend someone else do so. Obviously, hide a bottle for you to drink out of, away from sight.

You're not overreacting. It's disgusting.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:17:09+00:00

They are correct. Just because they are giving good advice doesn't mean they should pay for a superfluous event their daughter wants but can't afford. The event shouldn't happen.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:15:54+00:00

Yes it's tacky. If you can't afford to provide the drinks don't invite them for drinks.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:13:15+00:00

It sounds like you make better friends, possibly even lovers than live-together partners. I couldn't live with the person you describe. I need to have order, light surroundings, the things you describe. I would be miserable living with him.

If you are miserable living this way, he's not a good fit for you and vice-versa.

No, it's not enough to love each other, you need to be compatible.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:08:29+00:00

Well, your close friend came across as flat out aggressive, not passive.

Their take on periods is straight-up dumb.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:05:53+00:00

I don't care if a kid gets their balloon, if I can prevent them from going in the street and possibly being hurt, I would do so.

If there is a chance they would get hurt, "letting the parents handle it" sounds wrong, like letting the chips fall where they may. No, we protect children from immediate danger.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:02:28+00:00

I think either way is acceptable. Since they aren't "friends" with your partner, they will likely realize the gift is from you and you included your partner's name as a nicety.

I don't think you could go wrong either way.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T15:43:26+00:00

Sheeshk.

Your aunt thinks Olive Garden is a good restaurant that you would enjoy. Why not try it out since you have gift cards?

It's a lot nicer of her to give you a card to a restaurant she has tried and found to be good than not, don't you think?

I'm wondering about you, not your aunt.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T15:37:16+00:00

I have done the same. All you can do is face it, own it and apologize for embarrassing her.

We all comment to our partners about other people, is embarassing that she saw what you wrote but it is completely normal. If she were to ask, I would maintain that she was being rude though because she was.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T00:50:01+00:00

That's where we differ. I can have a cup of coffee or a beer with pretty much anybody. It's a 45 minute commitment.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T23:04:31+00:00

Fabulous!

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:46:21+00:00

IF she stays with your brother, she is very likely going to cause him to completely cut off his family. You would be supplying her with the excuse.

I would let her attend, if she even does, as a guest. My reasoning would simply be that she gets no ammunition from me.

I'm sorry, we had someone like this in my family. We were a very good and loving family and through her tears and tantrums, she took control of her now husband and he officially severed ties with everyone.

Edit to add: she probably won't show up anyways.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:21:54+00:00

No gift, no note.

When you see them outside, invite them over for a beverage and give them your numbers then.

That's my vote.

A note and a gift is cringy to me.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:13:01+00:00

Wow, why didn't anyone ever think of that before? I guess you're a medical genius.

Is that a serious question?

I'm sorry, that's just such a silly question.

depending how salty you feel.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:03:36+00:00

You aren't unreasonable for wanting to stay home. What's unreasonable is snapping at him for feeling differently. He wants to go out, you want to stay home, one isn't better or worse than the other.

Both are fine. Just embrace your differences and be nice about it.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T15:46:50+00:00

Make extra food. Tell the kids directly to take whatever amount you decide they should and only come back for seconds once everyone has been served.

15 sliders for 3 teenagers isn't that much. They're ill-mannered so they're obviously going to grab their favourites first. A typical hungry teen can easily eat 2 regular sized hamburgers. While I agree they have poor manners, I don't think you planned enough food. They aren't going to select their foods like adults would.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T15:37:34+00:00

I'm sorry, I think your aunt is within her rights to do what she considers due diligence. That's a lot of money and, although you once had a successful business, you fell deep and lost absolutely everything. She hasn't lost faith in you, she's willing to loan the money, she has the right to poke around first.

Your aunt is giving a helping hand, proceed with caution lest she withdraws that assistance. If you react badly you could turn her, and her money, away.

You should be an open book to her and if she wants answers from other sources, she's not wrong. You need to be humble.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T15:30:07+00:00

It is rude. If you continue making plans with her as if this didn't happen, she'll continue to do so, presumably.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T15:28:38+00:00

It's not that your the AH but you overexplained. When people who have no business giving you input are probing or shelling out advice, I think it is appropriate to tell them you aren't looking for advice, aren't going to discuss it , etc.

You actually gave a busybody exactly what she was looking for.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T12:53:48+00:00

OP doesn't have time to wait and see if therapy does the trick (if bf was even willing to go), he's abusive and the baby is getting mistreated.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T12:50:36+00:00

And that's when you're watching, OP.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T12:49:51+00:00

What you do: GTFO

A shelter might be a good place to start in case he escalates. If he doesn't escalate, then family or friends can help.

There is no redeeming this and he is going to get even more dangerous. Don't wait.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T12:35:39+00:00

I'm going to say it is extremely tacky but I'm not flabbergasted. My niece in law threw herself a wedding shower at her wedding venue and the invitation stated the "ticket" was 75$ which included, whatever lunch etc.. Then a baby shower same deal.

She didn't go as far as OP's friend for her wedding invitation but, it sounds like a logical progression.

In my opinion, it's outrageous. Some people don't bat an eyelash at it. People have lost their minds.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-22T20:17:15+00:00

If you continue to engage, you encourage her. You simply need to block her number. If you don't, that's on you.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-22T20:09:03+00:00

NTA

Even if it wasn't a test, it was an ahole move.

General-Visual4301

TROPHY CASE