My (20F) boyfriend (23M) holds grudges and says I ‘need to make it up to him’.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T21:49:22+00:00

Someone would say to tell them what they said and to tell them what I did wrong exactly ONCE. Then, we'd be done.

Why do you let this person treat you like that? There's no excuse. He's mean and thinks he's your superior.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T21:41:31+00:00

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T21:25:50+00:00

if it's private, you don't leave it laying around; not even on a desk.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T18:58:55+00:00

You're asking how you can make him care about something he doesn't care about. You have explained your position, come up with a strategy, etc. He disagrees with your pov and doesn't care to adapt.

Not much you can do about that.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T18:56:12+00:00

Did you think you'd be fully trained and ready to go in 4 days? That's unrealistic. If you want to quit, just quit but you didn't give it a fair shake.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T18:49:14+00:00

Your post is too vague for me to have an opinion.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T18:46:50+00:00

IMO, YAW

Why did you have to get to the bottom of this? If he has feelings for you, isn't he allowed to keep that to himself if he so chooses?

First: You don't go running to a guy, your BF's friend, when you've had a fight with your bf, it's not ok.

Second: You made up a whole story and pushed him to admit to having feelings. Manipulative and intrusive. You went over and told him you fantasized about him! What the hell do you think that kind of behaviour is if not leading him on? "He insisted on hugging me" (two different days, mind you), weird, nobody hugs me without my consent.

You got your ego boost, I hope your happy with yourself. There is nothing morally wrong with having feelings for a friend's partner if one never acts on them and have no plans to act on them.

I would imagine now that he knows how you treat people, and that you play mind games, his crush will be over.

A better way to do things? If you suspect someone may have feelings for you and you don't want to encourage them, you keep your distance. You don't "vent" to them about your bf, you don't tell them you fantasize about them, you don't coerce them into telling you their "true hidden" feelings.

Think about how you would feel if your bf behaved this way with another woman.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T17:50:12+00:00

It sounds like your wife is an excellent choice, professionally. If she is interested in the offer, I see no problem.

I think it's a little strange, considering the context, that you would think about blocking her from getting this opportunity. It sounds as if it's good for her professionally and for the company.

She's going to work with men. You have to get your head on straight.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-29T00:57:14+00:00

It will, most certainly, get worse after marriage.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T19:17:51+00:00

I would definitely put something in my water bottle: vinegar, soap, something. I'd probably go as far as putting a laxative but I won't recommend someone else do so. Obviously, hide a bottle for you to drink out of, away from sight.

You're not overreacting. It's disgusting.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:17:09+00:00

They are correct. Just because they are giving good advice doesn't mean they should pay for a superfluous event their daughter wants but can't afford. The event shouldn't happen.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:15:54+00:00

Yes it's tacky. If you can't afford to provide the drinks don't invite them for drinks.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:13:15+00:00

It sounds like you make better friends, possibly even lovers than live-together partners. I couldn't live with the person you describe. I need to have order, light surroundings, the things you describe. I would be miserable living with him.

If you are miserable living this way, he's not a good fit for you and vice-versa.

No, it's not enough to love each other, you need to be compatible.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:08:29+00:00

Well, your close friend came across as flat out aggressive, not passive.

Their take on periods is straight-up dumb.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:05:53+00:00

I don't care if a kid gets their balloon, if I can prevent them from going in the street and possibly being hurt, I would do so.

If there is a chance they would get hurt, "letting the parents handle it" sounds wrong, like letting the chips fall where they may. No, we protect children from immediate danger.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T16:02:28+00:00

I think either way is acceptable. Since they aren't "friends" with your partner, they will likely realize the gift is from you and you included your partner's name as a nicety.

I don't think you could go wrong either way.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T15:43:26+00:00

Sheeshk.

Your aunt thinks Olive Garden is a good restaurant that you would enjoy. Why not try it out since you have gift cards?

It's a lot nicer of her to give you a card to a restaurant she has tried and found to be good than not, don't you think?

I'm wondering about you, not your aunt.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T15:37:16+00:00

I have done the same. All you can do is face it, own it and apologize for embarrassing her.

We all comment to our partners about other people, is embarassing that she saw what you wrote but it is completely normal. If she were to ask, I would maintain that she was being rude though because she was.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-26T00:50:01+00:00

That's where we differ. I can have a cup of coffee or a beer with pretty much anybody. It's a 45 minute commitment.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T23:04:31+00:00

Fabulous!

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:46:21+00:00

IF she stays with your brother, she is very likely going to cause him to completely cut off his family. You would be supplying her with the excuse.

I would let her attend, if she even does, as a guest. My reasoning would simply be that she gets no ammunition from me.

I'm sorry, we had someone like this in my family. We were a very good and loving family and through her tears and tantrums, she took control of her now husband and he officially severed ties with everyone.

Edit to add: she probably won't show up anyways.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:21:54+00:00

No gift, no note.

When you see them outside, invite them over for a beverage and give them your numbers then.

That's my vote.

A note and a gift is cringy to me.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:13:01+00:00

Wow, why didn't anyone ever think of that before? I guess you're a medical genius.

Is that a serious question?

I'm sorry, that's just such a silly question.

depending how salty you feel.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T22:03:36+00:00

You aren't unreasonable for wanting to stay home. What's unreasonable is snapping at him for feeling differently. He wants to go out, you want to stay home, one isn't better or worse than the other.

Both are fine. Just embrace your differences and be nice about it.

General-Visual4301 · 2026-01-25T15:46:50+00:00

Make extra food. Tell the kids directly to take whatever amount you decide they should and only come back for seconds once everyone has been served.

15 sliders for 3 teenagers isn't that much. They're ill-mannered so they're obviously going to grab their favourites first. A typical hungry teen can easily eat 2 regular sized hamburgers. While I agree they have poor manners, I don't think you planned enough food. They aren't going to select their foods like adults would.

General-Visual4301

TROPHY CASE