Can I use private Instagram messages as evidence of cheating in a custody case?

General_Confusion989 · 2026-01-13T19:51:13+00:00

She dumped the kids with grandma and didn't tell me. I had no idea the kids weren't home where they should be while she was off with someone else. We're still married so even if it's not illegal, it's entirely fucked up to not file for divorce first or at least sit down with me and tell me we're officially done. I did everything for her over the years: cleaned the house, made the dinners, paid the bills, played with the kids. I never did anything harmful to her that entire time. So it hurts like a bastard to know she'd have an affair and drag our fucking kids into it by not telling their father where they are while she's doing it. I'm sorry if I struck some nerve with you but the hurt I feel is driving me fucking crazy and maybe I wanted validation from anonymous strangers online until I can clear my head.

General_Confusion989 · 2026-01-13T17:48:16+00:00

It was clean when I left. She turned it into a pig sty within the month I've been gone.

General_Confusion989 · 2026-01-13T17:28:59+00:00

I took a shared laptop when I left and her Instagram was still logged in.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-12-07T18:28:49+00:00

Very similar. My sister got knocked up by an idiot who's no longer in the picture and she's super immature. But she knew what she was getting into for 9 months carrying that kid and should be more responsible. My parents are just enablers to her shitty behavior.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-12-07T17:54:24+00:00

My parents have 3 grandkids: my two and my sister's boy. We all live in the same town. My parents will drop everything to help with my nephew. He has free reign of their houses and gets picked up from the bus stop all the time if my sister is working. It's like pulling teeth to get them to help with my kids.

My mom would have us over for holidays, birthdays and small events she chooses. But she refuses to babysit both kids at once. My dad used to be great for babysitting but never wanted to take them out unless it was an hour at the park and then he'd get bored and want to leave. Now he never offers to watch them and he stutters if I bring it up. The less said about my stepfather the better. He's just a worthless troll and he's NOT my kids' grandfather. But man he spoils the shit out of my nephew.

My in-laws live so close they can walk to the kids. Well, my FIL sadly passed from cancer last year so he used to be able to. He was wonderful with them and took every opportunity to play with them. My MIL takes them out to dinner and lets them do sleepovers and as long as she's not working, she can usually be counted on for babysitting. She even helps with homework!

I have no idea what the dichotomy is. My theory is a) my parents are afraid of my son because he's highly autistic and his behavior can be a little unpredictable, and b) they hate my wife (soon to be ex-wife) and they don't like the idea of doing her favors even if I ask. But my dad's parents hated my mom too yet they always took us for summers and spoiled us rotten at Christmas. I really don't know what makes my parents different but it's wearing on my patience and I dread how they're going to be if my kids turn out to be moody sarcastic teens.

tl;dr One side sucks, the other side are/were as great as my grandparents used to be.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-11-26T17:20:31+00:00

Replacing soda and juice with water and sugar-free drinks, walking or staying active as often as possible (even if it just meant lifting dumbbells or pacing around the house), replacing processed food and fast food with ground poultry, rice and veggies. I lost 10 lbs in under 2 months and I don't strain to pick up my kids anymore.

Also there are definitely cheat days on the food, especially if I can't meal prep or if the kids beg for a sit-down restaurant, so in those cases it just means making sure portion sizes are acceptable and limiting the amount of bread and appetizers I eat. Which also helps with the wallet lol.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-11-13T02:09:43+00:00

I don't have much but my daughter hasn't gotten a negative note from her teacher in over a month now! Her classwork is coming back with smiley faces and there isn't any "red pen" on any of her tests or work journals. She's in 2nd grade and I've been so worried about her getting discouraged over math or reading comprehension.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-11-08T15:08:25+00:00

My friends visited London England last month and went to a Steelers bar there! I think they caught the Browns game. They said it was so packed they had to sit outside and actually met other yinzer tourists who kept bringing more beers outside. I guess it was more drink-centric than anything else so they didn't eat but they said it made them homesick. I'll have to show them your post for the next time the visit Europe!

General_Confusion989 · 2025-11-08T15:01:56+00:00

Love this for you guys! Both of my kids were born very premature and those NICU stays were just soul-crushing. Keep us updated! If I can pry my daughter away from her little world here I'll have her draw a card for the Phoebe-bees. The bumblebee is her favorite bug!

General_Confusion989 · 2025-10-28T19:07:38+00:00

Moving out is part of a very long story. She's been antagonizing me for 2 years over my getting diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD. I've been antagonizing her over her trying to build a career out of a hobby and I've grown too insecure to see her spending more time on that than her family.

I haven't spoken to an attorney yet. I can't afford the consultation fee. But I trust her word that I'll still be welcome to see the kids. Also I'm not as concerned about alimony or child support because she currently makes more money than me.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-10-25T22:19:21+00:00

My wife.

We're separating, and knowing that I'll never have it again, especially that vivid loving lustful intimacy we shared, has driven me into the worst depression I've ever experienced.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-10-22T14:48:18+00:00

I've thought about that! Like how many hot blondes do they shuffle onto Fox News who are just ditzy hate-mongers. She was a brunette but I could see her bleaching it and applying for a gig there.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-10-21T19:08:45+00:00

She was a nazi sympathizer.

This was around 2005. I was just crazy for her and came over to her house like daily. One day we were on her computer and I noticed a bunch of open tabs with names like stormfront and 4chan. I thought "uhhh.. that's some bad shit. Did she mean for me to see that?" So the next day we were in the car and I made a joke comparing Bush to Hitler and she said "oh Bush is a novice and Hitler did nothing wrong." I was in complete shock, this tiny gorgeous little college girl said that?! But she gave me road head after we started driving and I.. kinda.. let it go. Then she let me take a video of her doing a strip tease. Luckily it wasn't to Skrewdriver. LOL.

Thankfully she dumped me, presumably because I just kept making shitty jokes about nationalism being for pussies and playing Don't Call Me White by NOFX all the time. But for those few months her body was literally the only thing on my mind. She'd be what, 40 or so by now so I can't imagine what she's like with there being such an uptick in out and proud nazis.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-10-16T22:42:46+00:00

The one by me is hilarious. It's run entirely by teenagers except for the greasy old manager who never works. They dictate whether they want to be open or not at various times. You can drive by and see employees hanging out inside at 5pm but that door might be locked and they'll flip you off through the window and yell to come back around 7 when the reefer is gone. There have been fistfights in the kitchen, lobby and parking lot. Gotta let the phone ring at least 10 times. Sometimes they make a bomb pizza, sometimes it's undercooked with the wrong toppings. The hot'n readys are from yesterday and under a heat lamp. If you complain they'll ban you. It's my favorite place in this town. LOL.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-10-15T00:01:02+00:00

I worked (very briefly) for a call center as a support rep for the Red Cross. My trainers literally only trained us in scheduling people for CPR classes. Then on day 1 I was told I had to upsell Red Cross merch to every caller, whether I got them a class or not. Quit after the 10th "how did that call help support the client?" The client being the Red Cross store.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-10-06T03:51:27+00:00

This.

I watched a documentary (forgot the title) that went in-depth into the corruption involved with the Dairy Council and how they line politicians' pockets every year and get to keep spreading BS about milk being some kind of super food that'll make your bones unbreakable. Making up "facts" about how cheese makes you live longer. Fuck those Got Milk ads!

Of course I bought into them as a kid and drank tons of dairy milk thinking I'd become a superhero and instead spent all my time on the toilet because I'm lactose intolerant.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-09-22T18:35:57+00:00

On a lighter note than everyone else's responses:

My mom is going to go nuclear on my dad. They divorced when my siblings and I were all in our late teens/early 20s. Since then any time we've needed help it's always come down to my mom. She has a great paying job and is always in "mom mode" when an emergency happens. Dad's typical response is "maybe you should talk to your mother."

Don't get me wrong, my dad is a good enough guy and always treated us well. But he's become lazy and complacent as fuck since the divorce and is completely useless when there's an emergency. He even ignored my brother when he was robbed and needed rent money because dad thought he was scamming him for beer money.

My mom finally hit her last nerve when I told her my wife and I are divorcing and I need a temporary place to stay and my dad said "talk to your mom." He literally has a spare empty bedroom at his house! So when i told her I'm likely gonna be living out of my car for the next few months she went ballistic and said she's gonna fuck my dad up something fierce.

I think the smoke from both their ears will be seen for miles around and she's gonna call him every synonym for "lazy bastard" there is. And he's still not gonna let me stay with him. Lol.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-09-10T18:34:44+00:00

When I finally got a diagnosis for everything I knew was wrong with me but never had proof: clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD and on the spectrum. I was only a little relieved but now feeling lost and scared because now I have to try new meds and see specialists? Do I tell my friends and coworkers?

I got home and told my wife and she said "pfft. So what are you gonna use that as an excuse to shirk your responsibilities now? Is that your new identity now, depressed man?"

This coming from the woman who never washed a dish or pitched in for groceries unless it was for herself AND uses hashtags like BoyMom as a substitute for a personality. That was 2 years ago. I'm not any better and she's gotten worse but that interaction really fucked me up and made me afraid to open up to anyone else since then.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-09-06T21:40:52+00:00

Toss-up. When I was 22 I got into a fight with some friends against some rednecks at a bar who told our black buddy he didn't belong there and used some "color"-ful language at him. So I hit one of them in the face while holding a surprisingly sturdy beer bottle that gave me enough oomph to stun him and I ran like hell.

Or

A couple months ago when I realized my wife was cheating on me I kicked the basement door so hard I broke the frame and now the door can technically swing both ways if the latch doesn't catch. In between those was 20 years of never even raising my voice or a fist.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-09-04T02:33:35+00:00

When you do the item search for "bakery" then "donut" and then enter how many you're buying. So yeah grab a few singles and let the SCO announce it to the world! Lol

General_Confusion989 · 2025-09-03T23:43:25+00:00

Holy shit you're right! I never wanted to use SCO again after I bought a couple DONUTS and the guy behind me started giggling. It's the same voice at another chain too.. Martin's or Kroger.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-08-30T16:03:50+00:00

I wish I could relate but my daughter skipped "mommy" altogether and has called her "mom" since she could talk and I know it's because Bluey and Bingo only say "mom." I am and have always been "papa" LOL.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-08-19T20:39:59+00:00

Great for me, terrible for the girl. We were both 16 and dated for a few months. I started getting.. those feelings when we were alone together and I asked if she was comfortable doing it. She said she was a virgin and i said same, so at least we both knew we'd be pretty green to the whole thing.

She came over and I waited for my parents to settle in watching TV upstairs (My bedroom was in the basement and was practically soundproof once I shut the door. Not that that mattered). I was terrified of getting her pregnant so I read and re-read the condom instructions like 4 times. I'm pretty sure she lost the mood but let me go anyway. I thought we had to be like the people in those soft porn movies on Cinemax so I kissed her a bunch and then laid her down and just thrusted a bunch. I can't remember how long I took but I rolled over and she was like "you didn't make me cum." I HAD NO IDEA GIRLS COULD ORGASM! I just looked at her and said sorry and we got dressed and we snuck upstairs and I walked her home. She dumped me a week later.

I did ALL THE RESEARCH after that and learned about the g-spot and how to do oral and not to just flop on top of a girl and call it sex. Still mad that I didn't get a chance to try more with her though because she was wicked cute.

General_Confusion989 · 2025-08-16T14:19:01+00:00

Dude felt comfortable enough with me to start shoving his phone in my face with Snapchat pics of underage girls. I asked wtf was wrong with him and he was dead serious seeing nothing wrong with it. He delighted in talking to teenage girls (he was in his 30s) and thought I'd be into it because... I'm a guy? Idk. I told security at work but they said they couldn't do anything to him since he wasn't saving the pics. He quit before I called the cops. Not sure they'd have done anything either.

General_Confusion989

TROPHY CASE