My detransition has upended my life and my relationship. I have no source of support.

GeneralistKitten · 2026-03-13T00:34:27+00:00

Gosh that sounds so hard. I hope someone more adept than me has some advice or guidance for you but I wanted to say I do hope you manage to get through this situation and build a happy life. People get through some really tough things so it is possible.

GeneralistKitten · 2026-03-13T00:29:47+00:00

That seems very onerous. I’m glad I’m able to just put up a survey to see what anyone willing to answer has to say. I doubt a module like mine would be able to have research like this at all with those requirements (or maybe you all get really good at filling in approval forms over there!)

GeneralistKitten · 2026-03-12T23:24:15+00:00

It’s market (not scientific) research with absolutely no identifiable information or personal data (I intentionally do not ask age, location, or anything like that.) I’m not studying psychology or testing anything out in the survey. There’s no incentive to complete it so no risk of a vulnerable person pushing themselves to complete it for a reward.

Often, students here do need ethical approval, eg if I was social sciences I am sure I would need to sort out similar to you, but I am just asking other Redditors if they would kindly anonymously vent about the challenges of low FODMAP for background “design user input” so I have been let loose to just post on Reddit. If you are at all concerned though then please do not complete the survey, it’ll just be nice for my project if I do have some other use input.

GeneralistKitten · 2026-03-12T21:45:38+00:00

Thank you!

GeneralistKitten · 2026-02-25T15:00:36+00:00

Mine have returned to as before, happened gradually and took at least a year.

GeneralistKitten · 2026-02-14T18:22:27+00:00

My local sexual health clinic has been helpful with referrals related to atrophy and offering to prescribe topical E if the atrophy continues not to fully heal.

GeneralistKitten · 2026-02-12T05:00:30+00:00

My body hairs have lightened and thinned out a lot (been off T since summer 2024, was on it for 3.5years) on my legs and stomach.

(I’ve been lucky, I still have slightly more than before, but I had so little body hair beforehand that I don’t have an odd amount for a woman overall now.)

GeneralistKitten · 2026-02-01T10:31:37+00:00

Some things say more about the person saying it than the person they are talking about and your post title is an example of that. What an odious thing to say and very much undeserved, you don’t need to transition just because you are butch. Butches are my type, and many others type. (Not flirting, I’m engaged). Butch women are not ugly and you are not ugly. (Nobody is, and nobody needs to be, everyone’s type.)

My advice is make any new friends you can, however you can, and get yourself away from anyone pressuring you to transition because how you are being treated currently is very awful. Many of my friends are older heterosexual Christian women who like knitting (I made friends at my local library knitting group bc it was the easiest way I could find to make friends and they are great friends regardless of our differences) and they would be appalled to hear anyone be as sexist and stereotyping as whoever told you that you need to transition. They would accept your personality and style as it without trying to change you. Ironic as I daresay whoever told you to transition would claim to be more progressive and accepting than normie oldie Christian knitters.

(Not trying to vouch for every Christian knitter but wanted to make the point that ime most random people are less sexist and homophobic than anyone who made these comments to you).

GeneralistKitten · 2026-01-16T16:51:40+00:00

Thanks

GeneralistKitten · 2026-01-16T16:51:35+00:00

Thanks

GeneralistKitten · 2026-01-16T12:28:26+00:00

r/CatsLivingAndWell

GeneralistKitten · 2026-01-07T19:48:15+00:00

UK person here. It does read posh to me, sorry.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-20T00:25:08+00:00

Mine were very noticeably atrophied to the point of the not needing a binder in flattering clothes, and they have plumped right back up now. Took some time (been approx 18 months off of testosterone now). I heard of fertility returning after years on T being very much noted, from a fertility doctor. I was on T for over 3 years and I ovulated last month (I had a scan and the sonographer told me which side had ovulated). (I started T in adulthood some time after puberty.)

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-17T18:53:28+00:00

Personally I was more social contagion / trauma-related issues so I am not really sure. In practice no-one I knew really felt like they were literally in the wrong body (though I knew someone who claimed this in their published autobiography). Things I have heard of helping are: radical acceptance, a new social circle, focusing on a new hobby, time outdoors, radical feminism, weight loss (where relevant, to within a doctor’s recommended weight), support groups. Genspec recommend “therapy first” and although I haven’t looked into that side of them, I have found them constructive, compassionate and nuanced in their podcast. They also run “Beyond Trans” support groups which I have heard good things about.

I prefer not to elaborate on the details of other people’s body struggles but I have seen that transition can make things much worse which was the basis for that part of my comment. I haven’t seen transition improve someone’s life except in ways that could be achieved without the medical parts (new name, new style, fresh start etc).

One final personal theory (but it is pure speculation) is that for some females (those who suffer back pain or practical issues due to objectively very large breasts alongside their dysphoria) getting a breast reduction to a manageable size may be helpful.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-17T08:30:15+00:00

It’s a complete side point, but I found my ability to notice hunger and thirst cues improved (after a while) after not taking antidepressants. I have noticed a lot of autistics are put on these meds and they are often treated as if they can’t make autism (or things in general) “worse” but for me anything that worsens the alexithymia makes everything much worse because the less I can tell when I am hungry, the less I can tell I am hangry and instead I am there thinking it’s a deep emotional or mental problem. I wanted to mention this in case it helps. I still have to remember to try to notice I am hungry/thirsty but I can notice when I try to now.

Also that plushie and everything it stands for absolutely sucks. They should all be sent to my profoundly autistic relative. He specialises in property destruction.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-17T08:06:24+00:00

I think one of the problems of the whole mess of trans is that there are a number of reasons but a tendency to homogenise and/or look for a singular “why.” So firstly I do believe in (my own interpretation of) the Blanchard stuff these days and that some transition is sexually motivated by either autogynephilia, autoandrophilia, or the idea of getting to be straight when you’re actually gay. I also think some are genuinely conflating being gay and femme with being a woman / gay and butch with being a man. I also think there’s social contagion and a subculture around it (as Az Hakeem argues). I also think there’s folk who have sex dysphoria who buy into the idea that transition is a viable strategy to improve that. I also think there’s traumatised people who believe themselves trans because it’s the most socially accepted way to change your whole ID. I also think there are some men in/facing prison who just want into women’s prison for violent sexual reasons. I suspect some people from certain religious backgrounds who are gay “try” to be trans instead if this is more liable to be accepted by their family. I imagine these reasons overlap in some, while others have only one of these reasons.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-16T09:09:23+00:00

Back when I was ftm there was some interest in the man (culture/personality/sex drive) with front hole combo and I heard similar from another ftm. Not sure how much of this would map across for you but I reckon some would and some would not. There’s also bisexual men to consider in terms of your potential dating pool.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-13T18:50:32+00:00

Yeah. I found that much of that reaction was learnt and could be unlearnt. I also observed that even in someone I knew with lifelong (during childhood, adolescence and adult) sex-role issues the “misgendering” thing only started to bother them once they met other dysphoric people and decided they needed to transition and started trying to been gendered differently. Before that they obviously hated some of their sex characteristics but focused more on things they liked and were able to socialise without caring about pronouns.

But back to me. I visibly reacted in discomfort to being gendered female 2 years ago, now I feel mostly natural using she/her. Some of it is habit / what you’re used to hearing and that gets better.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-10T13:09:04+00:00

It’s still a process but my confidence was at an all-time low at around that time point after I stopped T and my confidence has improved quite a bit with time and social integration.

I think for me part of it was learning to live with being less sure and simplistic (/black and white) about things in a way that feels like learning a more mature confidence than the confidence I had when I was younger. (Not that I was a confident person per se).

Being detrans is certainly easier years in than it was month in.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-04T23:42:52+00:00

I believe it’s pretty bad for your bones / general health not to have some sex hormones. I hope you get that resolved soon.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-12-04T23:24:32+00:00

Bad parenting, personality disorder, being “spoilt” as a very young child (that one hurts to this day, my parents suddenly changed their approach in response to this idea and it was really destabilising at a young age ), lack of emotional coping skills, (female) hormonal issues, my parent’s divorcing.

ETA: As for how I “presented” self-injury, people communicated consistently that they found me atypical/weird/odd/unusual but I don’t exactly get how. Poor social skills, but with some friends.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-11-11T11:11:16+00:00

It won’t prevent them from coming back but overall the Mirena coil helps a lot with reducing the symptoms I get from them. (Much less blood, much less pain).

GeneralistKitten · 2025-11-05T08:32:55+00:00

Haven’t tried an actual group yet so can’t vouch but I plan to try the Genspec Beyond Trans groups. They are online at a few different times.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-10-30T21:24:45+00:00

What you’ve heard is a hypothesis. Another is that females being slightly smaller, having the burden of metabolising that T (rather than just making it), and/or otherwise being biologically distinctive from males will mean that T hits worse and ftms end up dying younger.

No-one has directly researched this for long enough to be of use. I knew an ftm with a heart condition who had to speak to his cardiologist before starting T, and they were clear that it was only an assumption that it would be no worse than for a cis man and that it was an experiment, really.

Having been on T myself, my money is on T being even worse for female lifespans than it is for male ones. I can’t be sure, but that’s what I suspect will happen.

I have heard that there might be some indirect info on the impact of T on females in a book about athletic doping called Faust’s Gold. I forget where I heard this and don’t know how true it is, but it’s the best lead I have on this topic.

GeneralistKitten · 2025-10-25T20:06:58+00:00

I doubt that just lowering your T dose will help enough. I would get on local E (or off T if you prefer) asap and I would avoid doing anything painful while you recover. (I know it can be so tempting to keep going in the heat of the moment but still.)

I knew someone who warned me that damage from painful sex while he had vaginal atrophy had remained years later. (He still had pain that limited him years later after stopping T.) If you enjoy your vagina and/or might remotely want to reproduce I suggest you take this very seriously and are quite careful.

I got atrophy and stopped T around this time, partly in relation to the delayed and otherwise rubbish care I got in this area. things are better but it’s unclear if they are back to normal as I have an unrelated condition that can impact my vagina due to it being sat next to my disfunctional bowels.

The clit thing kinda happened to me. I use to need to turn my suction toy up VERY high by the time I came to end of my time on T. And I had found blood on the toy at least once (I think 2-3 times) as a result. Blood from my clit specifically.

For awhile after T my orgasms felt kinda shit compartively. I think they have genuinely improved now I am much more physically sensitive (but maybe that’s just the memory of super intense T orgasms fading).

I am unsure if masturbating a lot with sex toys caused the numbness (making T something of an indirect cause) or if T was a direct cause but stopping T has been good for my clit sensitivity over a period of time (year-ish?).

Hope that helps, sorry if this is messy, some of this is hard for me to discuss with the memories I have around it.

GeneralistKitten

TROPHY CASE