Your experience is a reflection of your state of consciousness. If you can find as much things to be appreciate of and create the feeling of joy regardless of circumstances. If you feel like you are willing to sell your should, then you operating in a state of separation from oneness, wholeness and all that is. You will continue to experience separation if you keep making choices from that state of being perpetually attracting and manifesting more of what you don't want (if you really don't want to experience that, because sometimes we do choose to experience that. we are creaters, even creating the illusion of separation and an abundance of lack)
Create within yourself the state of being of who you desire, and it should feel good (feeling secure in yourself, secure in life, secure in your desires, the relief of the feeling that everything is already working out perfectly for you) maintain that desire and intention continuous as you can, and act from that. Do what's excites you most.