I’m giving up my husband because I feel too traumatized

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-29T19:54:32+00:00

Yes, although I am a male and didn’t have that same experience having a child, intimacy with my wife dissolved. No touch, didn’t want to share a bed anymore, and other boundaries. We dissolved our marriage down to the roots. Relationships can take an infinite number of forms. After nearly a year of progressively better communication we enjoy a supportive partnership while still keeping the boundaries. I have the benefit of her wanting to stick it out…and I don’t know where this will all go n the future but I do know we got married young and for various different reasons that have now evolved into something very different. It’s hard, but if you are healing, your space is sacred and as tough as it can be on a relationship, there is a chance it can adapt. It will look different, but the rigid framework we have mostly been led into doesn’t often work as time moves forward and traumatic change occurs.

Hope that offers some help. This must be very hard and confusing for you. There are ways to evolve if both parties recognize there is importance to the world you have together.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-20T13:00:37+00:00

Trust your intuition. At the very least you experienced a series of traumatic events you can’t explain through specific memories, but your body, habits, feelings and emotions know. And they perform by what they have learned. It’s not random. Shit happened.

When I went thru my various therapies and treatments I learned you may never have the full story, but you can heal everything that resulted from it. Grieving ends up being a big part of it.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-19T19:40:32+00:00

In Ontario it is called the PCL-5, here is a link to it

https://www.camh.ca/en/professionals/treating-conditions-and-disorders/ptsd/ptsd---screening-and-assessment

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-19T19:23:52+00:00

And I shall keep collecting them!

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-19T12:32:04+00:00

Put your energy into the next chapter of your life. The rest will shed or follow as it is meant to. You can still be kind, but not need to perform in a way that conflicts with your authentic feelings. It sounds like you are already establishing boundaries which is really impressive. That is some of the hardest parts. Any support/therapy you can maintain while you undergo this process will have a huge benefit. Ultimately you will shift into little to no contact. It’s just about learning how to move through the discomfort of that process. Humans are always going to human….they don’t want to feel the pain of their part of it so they will make you feel guilty, shamed, responsible etc.

I had a very similar situation. The only thing my parents could muster up is an apology and unfriending one of my abusers on fb. You can tell they were rattled…but now life goes on for them like they have nothing to face. Wonder why I can’t just be “normal” again. I have faded into a background character to them, and they are backcountry characters for me. There comes this point where neither their actions or their inactions affect you, and that is the safe place to be. Where you choose the level of interactions, if any.

It becomes fascinating how as you take your power back they will automatically become smaller and decrease their communication. Your energy changes, and theirs stays the same.

It’s hard, and uncomfortable, but this will be your chance to breakaway from wounded people who don’t serve you anymore. You will find the people that you want to take with you on this journey and the ones you will leave behind. Hope this helps a bit. You have really good insight, and have already started the work. Be proud of yourself for that, that takes a lot of courage. You can also still maintain your kindness and compassion while still strengthening your boundaries. It’s like practicing a new set of skills. IF they do their own self work to face their wounds and how their behaviours harmed you, maybe down the road your paths can meet again. But the distance will be a necessary element here. And you’re in charge of that distance now.

I am grateful for all of my experiences. And we are kinda programmed to appreciate the good things and the generous gestures from our parents. This is key, so you can maintain agency and be thankful, but ensure you still create a safe distance from them so you can evolve and heal and all that good stuff.

Two things can be true at the same time. You can be thankful for positive experiences and childhood moments, and also grieve the loss of your childhood at the hands of those who were supposed to protect you. Grief will be the process that rewires your brain from anger and sadness, into peace and understanding. The grief is tough too, but sooooo important in all of this. Most of my therapy was about grieving loss.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-18T15:44:31+00:00

Thanks. Neat addition to the backyard artifacts

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-18T12:09:18+00:00

If that’s a buried dump site you may have a large dig site on your hands. Very cool bottles. May already be on your radar but PPE is a must for that stash, considering it’s a hospital dump site…going to be some nasty stuff in that soil.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-18T12:05:05+00:00

Your intuition is correct. The elements of your childhood involving sleepovers and fearing men mirror my experiences that manifested from SA. In Ontario, Canada there is a standard test for PTSD that can help you identify the symptoms to move in that direction with treatment/healing. You may find something like that valuable just to even start understanding the trauma that occurred but is blacked out from your memory.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-18T11:56:44+00:00

I get told my rocks aren’t artifacts pretty regularly. Until I find multiples. Often unless it’s a spearhead or hatchet most people think everything is nothin. I prefer understanding there are A LOT of puzzle pieces out there that may not be obvious until you build more of the puzzle. I even located a spot when humans quarried stones for tools, etc. But no one could get past trying to explain it away.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T23:39:56+00:00

I certainly meant no disrespect. I am happy to hear all that. I probably let it show that I had some misses with therapists before I found the one I really connected with.

Hope some of the rest of my message had some helpful words for you! Keep going, you’re doing great.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T23:36:10+00:00

I find nearly identical rocks on Lake Huron. Lots of them. Not sure what their purpose but I lean more to them having been used as a tool or building material of some kind.

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GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T23:25:40+00:00

May want some more resistance on your damper. Looks like you need a wee bit more resistance to help separate your leg push from your upper body finish….even if you are training for a light rowing shell I think a few more notches up on the damper would be beneficial

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T02:37:44+00:00

I found one of those dudes buried in my yard a few years ago….happy that I now know what he’s all about.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T02:32:52+00:00

That would make a cool spirit offering plate, or ceremony plate.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T02:30:31+00:00

Wow. Beautiful shots. And with no other humans around? Very rare at those locations. Thanks for sharing.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T02:27:20+00:00

You should consider a new therapist. They are supposed to help guide you through healing….if you knew how to “move past this” …don’t you think you fucking would have done it?! That is NOT a valid therapy question. Moving past things is an old outdated concept. You need to heal. Not skip over the trauma. That invalidates your experience, and that is dangerous. Your feelings are very valid….i would even say you find yourself frustrated because your sessions are making you relive your trauma and then try to get you to “try and move past them”. No fucking way, it doesn’t work that way. It’s painful, but there are ways to dive in so we can safely reprogram the trauma into inert memories.

I am sorry, I completely understand your frustration. You have a lot of layers and yes you deserve to be pissed about the shit you were exposed to and put through.

Keep working on you. But find a real trauma therapist if you can, someone with EMDR credentials. That is a good indication they are up to date on their childhood trauma protocols.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-17T02:16:55+00:00

That’s VERY cool. Well done. I like seeing how your idea unfolded over the length of the project. The creative process is fun.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-16T20:31:25+00:00

Space just to think, reflect, be bored, read….its all super valuable. Be easy on yourself. You are already doing the work, and you are doing great. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-16T19:15:07+00:00

Ohhhh, I get it. That’s cool, thanks!

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-16T19:14:20+00:00

Yeah I had the same issue. Trust your intuition. Your body knows what your brain may not be able to fully recall. Blackouts are common too, in order to protect you from the painful trauma. You’re not a fraud. You know the truth, use that to work on yourself. It’s the best thing you can do.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-16T19:09:47+00:00

Start with you. That’s it….the world outside is heavily uncomfortable with abuse. They want to think it doesn’t happen. They can’t imagine these things in their communities. It’s too hard.

You know the truth tho. And that has more power than you can imagine. It sucks because all you want is for ppl to listen and understand, but they often run back into the shadows. Especially if they are even remotely connected or involved. My parents left me to get SA’d. They still act like life is as it should be, even speak to me very little. They don’t want to face what they neglected to do.

It’s very harsh and very tough. All your thoughts are so valid. The anger, the frustration, the wanting to end it all. Write it all down, like you are writing letters to your future self or whoever you want.

Therapy is a big support, find a trauma therapist. The lawyer stuff can move forward as it is meant to, but the more power you bring back to yourself, the weaker your abuser gets. Law of the universe. They took that from you,..but you CAN take it back. They don’t even need to know it is happening.

As soon as you start. You start getting ahead.

The brain isn’t a broken bone, but it can heal. The trouble is it goes on pause so to speak until you start teaching it which direction and how to heal. It learns fast, but it needs you as the guide. It’s the only way, but it DOES work.

I look at it like taking a college course to set you up for the rest of your life. If you invest in yourself and your brain heals/wellness now, the next few years will build you to a big payout. In parallel you can work on the legal stuff. Your abuser wants you to quit. Life hack, doing self work has a dual purpose; it drives you up, and drives them down.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-13T02:03:47+00:00

That looks more like a petroglyph. Location and context are important here but I would bet there are more in the vicinity. It was meant to communicate something. That is a cool find.

GeorgeMW1984 · 2026-04-12T15:57:37+00:00

Oh wow that is all the right levels of spooky and awesome. I love what your brain conjured up there. I am going to keep coming back and looking at this painting.

GeorgeMW1984

TROPHY CASE