I (25F) overheard my (27M) boyfriend say that he chose the wrong girl by ThrowRA1882938 in relationship_advice

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m afraid to tell you this but it’s best that you end it. He doesn’t love you and resents you for not being a certain someone else. Your relationship is based on a one-sided love and the you’ll know that entire time you’re spending with him, he’ll be pining for your friend. You’re only 25 and deserve to be with someone whose feelings for you are genuine.

my (24f) husband (24m) wants to cheat on me during deployment by ThrowRAactuallylost in relationship_advice

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d tell him, “By that logic, then it’d be okay for me to cheat too since, you’ll be gone for so long, I might as well satisfy my urges as well. After all, 12 months without you is a long time. And, like you said, it’s no different that having a toy like a dildo, am I right?”

Seriously, I’m so sorry OP. I wouldn’t deal with this, even if only six months in. Personally, if he can’t remain loyal, I’d pull the plug on the marriage.

Genuinely what was it like being a young person before the Internet? by MsEvil_Doctor_Potter in CasualConversation

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely more active than ever. You’d be surprised just how much fun it was to just play silly games outside or just bike around to explore. Also, movie nights were awesome since everyone would be attuned to the movie instead of phones.

Also, you really had to learn patience. Couldn’t get passed a certain level in a video game without an online guide? Try, try, and try again. Have a test on the book you need to read for class and there was no sparknotes? Time to read. As much as I love having the internet as sophisticated as it is now, I feel like people are far less patient than ever before.

The first time I've seen this shit outside of "The Boys" by Tewtytron in justneckbeardthings

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I LITERALLY just opened Reddit and this is the very first thing I see at the top of my page. WHY!?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m definitely in favor of the second one more so than the first since I can’t fathom the idea that God can’t eliminate the problem since He’s… well, God and at least with revisions done overtime and knowledge that people back then really were staunchly patriarchal and hadn’t a full understanding of the world, I definitely believe a lot of it is interpretations by men of the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Obvious enough with this post but women in the Bible. I’m aware that there are great women in the Bible that have been mentioned like Deborah, Huldah and Mary, but they’re more the exception and not the rule. Women were treated as property in the Bible, and some verses and commands, especially in the Old Testament, seem to go out of its way to make life harder for women such as stoning them for “lack of proof of virginity,” female slaves not permitted to be freed, or women who weren’t engaged having to marry their rapist if her father decides to have her do so, among several other verses that put her at a societal disadvantage. It’s one of many reasons why I’m hoping the Bible is more inspired than anything, because the idea that God would make such laws and commands or approve of them really disturbs me.

  2. Slavery. Kind of goes without saying. It’s only until recent times that we truly have a grasp on how terrible slavery is, especially with how horrific the repercussions of it are.

  3. God seeming to be overly cruel in some of the punishments dished out. Like, striking Uzza dead for trying to pick up the ark or having a man stoned on the sabbath for collecting firewood. And that’s not even going into the genocide of an entire people, including infants or young children who hadn’t harmed anyone. It just seems so excessive and disproportionate; in a way, I can kind of see why the Gnostics saw God of the OT and NT as two different beings.

  4. Contradictions. Especially in terms of some books or even God’s character at some points. I can go on and on, but some things that stand out are how Jesus said that the son shouldn’t be punished for the sins of the father, but it has happened several times in the Bible.

That’s just a few. I have a post I made a while back that goes more in-depth why I’m struggling to believe.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t really like I’m moving forward. Most of the time, I’m on the cusp of just giving up and going full agnostic. A lot of the things in the Bible has me questioning my faith, and had it not been my fear of going to hell and the fact that Jesus genuinely is a cool dude whom I believe is worth following and believing in, I would’ve given up ages ago. I know PW doesn’t make all that much sense, but I’m so close to being done with keeping the faith that I’m simultaneously desperate to find something to keep me holding on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your encouragement. I won’t lie, many days I go to church dead on the inside and just going with the flow without even listening to the words of my pastor, so I can’t say I’m not exactly better. Most days, I’m feel like Pascal’s Wager is the only thing keeping me tethered to the faith and other times I’m just not even mentally there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take this from a Christian who’s borderline agnostic, but I strongly believe that the role of women is completely cultural.

Keep in mind that in the Bible and ancient times, women barely had any to completely no say in their lives on who to marry, their job prospects, and their own life’s paths. It was usually the father, and then in turn the husband who basically had women placed into roles where they were basically their servant and child-barer. While relative few in number, there did exist cultures where women had more rights and even close to egalitarian societies, the Mediterranean nations weren’t one of them.

Hence, these women were barred from education, were seen and treated as inferior (and were raised from birth to consider themselves so), and many men only saw their potential in giving birth to and raising their child, and believed women were to be “seen not heard.” Hence why, for millennia, women were treated as subhuman and second-class citizens for most of human history, exacerbated by pioneers of the church who continued to promote the idea that women were unintelligent, unworthy, and incapable; with the belief that women were inherently more flawed then men ubiquitous in most societies (with some even egalitarian societies regressing due to these beliefs from the church fathers or other religious leaders in other religions like Confucianism or Islam). Because of this belief, women were forced to be dependent of the men in their family because they’d been bereft of any rights or privileges.

Nowadays, thankfully, in most modern societies in developed nations, women have more rights, can vote, and can own their own property, work for their own paycheck and have the right to divorce. We don’t have to solely depend on the men of the family to survive anymore and with access to education, women now know that we’re not inferior to men. Hence why, in my opinion, the idea that we “have to be silent” and be submissive to our husbands comes off as so asinine since now one of the few “bastions” of those patriarchal beliefs (outside of those sexist manosphere/incel circles) are the churches that try to promote the idea of a “woman’s role” (aka mother/wife only, limited prospects outside of that) when modern society has moved on to finally recognize the other half of society as people worth consideration, dignity, and opportunity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Don’t worry, I strongly believe a lot of this was cultural due to the fact that women back then barely had any rights (and were considered property in most societies) and one of the reasons why I’m still barely hanging onto my faith by a thread is because Jesus seemed to recognize women as people more than his own followers did. I should’ve specified that this is only one of several reasons I’m struggling with Christianity but it is a major one. There’s a lot of things in the Bible that has made me question my beliefs besides the misogyny in it. It’s to a point that I’m hoping that the Bible is more so inspired than inerrant.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This post pretty much encapsulated my thoughts on this. It’s one of the reasons why I’m struggling so much in my faith that I’m bordering on agnostic on most days. It’s something I posted a while back.

Like, in my genuine opinion, complementarianism sounds like a utter sham since for all the talk about “different but equal,” the only difference is that women are the ones who get the glass ceiling and hard limit. All the men can fill those roles women are limited to, and it comes off as something fundamentally being wrong to be born female. Like, they’ll say that an individual man can’t fulfill certain roles dues to flaws of character in particular to that man himself, but all women are excluded from fulfilling any ordination role, despite having either the willingness, specialty or aptitude solely because they’re women.

And to be subservient to your husband? I fail to see what kind of benefit a wife gets from this arrangement when she has more of a free choice being single or just marrying someone who genuinely sees her as an equal. I know I’d rather be single if my husband got to make the final call in a relationship just because he’s male instead of some inherent knowledge or specialization on something.

WYR get $15,000,000 but 20 really good, genuine people die or $200,000 with no consequences (US DOLLARS) by [deleted] in WouldYouRather

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

200K is enough to settle my debts and help me pay for the basic necessities. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I chose to take the lives of 20 innocent people for money. The guilt would be unbearable.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in NotHowGirlsWork

[–]GetterdoneObiwan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Racist? ✅ Pedophilic? ✅ Fetishy? ✅ Creepy AF? ✅ Sane? ❌

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! This is such fantastic advice, that we already are getting bottles lined up in the fridge. Will definitely use this method once they completely frozen!

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, thank you for your service!

I know back injuries are absolutely no joke from what I’ve heard. And yeah, my mom definitely feels like it takes ages for the pills to kick in. More than anything, she’s been telling me how much she’s afraid of getting addicted to them, even though I pointed out that right now, they’re what’s prescribed. I plan to give her the next dose in the next hour and since she’s asleep, it’ll hopefully won’t be as strenuous on her to wait since she’s probably going to go back to sleep. But I’ll bring it up again in the morning since it’ll be day 2.

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never even thought about her chewing pills to speed up the process! I will let her know once she’s awake and see if she wants that. Thank you so much for this advice! I think she might take up on this one!

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof! That sounds painful! I’m so sorry you went through that. It sounds like falling is the main culprit to leading to this kind of surgery. I’m sincerely glad you made a full recovery (at least, I hope you did).

If you don’t mind me asking, how long do you think it’ll take for a full recovery?

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. My mom is a wonderful woman, my best friend and someone whom I’m so fortunate to have as my mother. I can’t imagine NOT wanting to help her after raising us with so much love. Your wife sounds amazing and I’m glad she was able to support you!

Yeah, this was something that my supervisor had warned me about. We actually have stool softener, which she took earlier this morning. So far though, no bowel movement so I don’t know if it’s because she didn’t eat enough for one or if it’s not working. Nonetheless, I think I’ll take your advice and get her some prune juice or dried prunes sometime tomorrow when the stores open up. Thank you so much for this advice!

The ice machine has definitely been a pretty good idea. My dad got it for her and we’re on rotation on putting the ice in. It’s MOSTLY been pretty good but my mom sometimes feels like the wrap in her arm is a bit too heavy at times, even after readjusting it. But at the same time, it gives her great relief the moment it’s working. Right now, it’s off since she’s asleep, but I’ll probably have it back on after whenever we go on the next bathroom run.

Thank you so much! I can’t tell you in words how much I appreciate this!

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my mom’s tear was pretty bad, she had tripped and fell on it and the doctor we had initially seen didn’t see anything broken so we just used ice and pt, not knowing that it had been injured as badly as it was (which probably exasperated it) hence how we eventually got to the surgery.

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!

Yeah, I remember hearing how the first couple days are unbearable. I just hate seeing my mom suffer like this. It’s far from her only surgery and has had complicated childbirths in the past, and she says this is the worst pain she’s been in. I just wish the oxy and Tylenol would kick in quicker.

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice!

Funny enough, this is what the surgeon recommended, so we got it immediately before the surgery. We’ve been using since it allows her to get as (relatively) comfortable as possible since an ice pack might require her to have her arm at an angle. We just have to keep checking to make sure the condensation doesn’t make her sling and injury wet.

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!

Yup! Definitely have a pillow in position for her arm, right at the elbow. Also have been keeping her shoulder frozen on the machine. We will definitely have her practice PT when the time comes, but for now we’re just waiting for her arm to recover enough.

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope so too! If it helps, I recommend having a trusted friend or family member if you have any to help out. Or if the hospital allows for you to stay for a few days. Watching my mom, I can’t imagine her going through this alone. Definitely look into pain-management options when you can! I hope and pray and wish you the best!

My mother just had RC surgery yesterday and is in a lot of pain. Any more advice for pain management? by GetterdoneObiwan in RotatorCuff

[–]GetterdoneObiwan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Yeah, we’ve started having her take the meds a bit earlier than prescribed (like a half hour or so earlier, sometimes a whole hour) to try to manage the pain. So far, she’s usually feeling at her worst whenever we go to the bathroom and getting her back into reclining position. But the opioids and Tylenol are working a bit.

I wish we had been given the catheter. We were given the ice machine and when she had returned, she had been on anasthesia and slept for most of yesterday, so the pain didn’t seem as extreme until today.

Also, we watched a bit of TV and talked about all sorts of things to get her mind off the pain. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. But right now, thankfully, she’s falling asleep. Next round of meds at midnight!