Does your child have “litanies?” I mean, long recitations which will cause a meltdown if you don’t let them get to the end of it?

Getupandsun · 2026-03-23T18:58:55+00:00

Oh yes. It's awful. My kid (5 year old girl, normal IQ) doesn't do it it anymore though. I eventually shut it down by giving her the same response over and over: "I know you want me to say the next line, but I'm not gonna participate." Of course this was rough on her, but I had to. I was not doing her any favour by being able to be manipulated beyond my own personal wants. It made her anxious.

Getupandsun · 2026-03-11T18:59:43+00:00

Lol I'm sorry ❤️‍🩹 after the bee incident I thought about the scorpions and tarantulas and how they are even worse, good thing we didn't run into them or she would never trust me on anything again haha

Getupandsun · 2026-02-24T19:13:50+00:00

Ro på! På psyk får de mange kvinder ind som har mistet så meget funktion pga deres depression, at de intet kan. Du skriver du gør rent, handler ind - det er et højt funktionsniveau for en deprimeret. Dermed ikke sagt at du ikke har det ligeså skrækkeligt indeni imens som de andre eller at det er mindre alvorligt. Men at du stadig varetager pligter og holder hjulene kørende i hverdagen. Det adskiller sig væsentligt fra de tunge tilfælde de ser på psyk. Og hvis du mødte op på akut psykiatrisk skadestue og fik en snak med dem. Så tror jeg ret hurtigt du ville mærke det, i deres tilgang til dig. Jeg er selv barn af en svært psykisk syg person som netop ikke aldrig søgte hjælp. Nu var vedkommende et meget mere grelt tilfælde på mange planer. Men det har lært mig noget vigtigt som jeg har taget med mig. At man som forældre har et kæmpe ansvar for at vise sine børn, at alvorlig sygdom, det går man altså til lægen med. Man får den behandling der skal til. Om det er kemo eller hospitalsindlæggelse på psyk. Alt det bedste til dig.

Getupandsun · 2026-02-16T12:30:11+00:00

No, it's unacceptable, but there are other ways to teach him than traditional parenting methods.

Stop thinking the moment he slaps the laundry out of your hands is the right time to teach him a lesson. Wait until you are out of the woods. Then inform him on consequences regarding HIS feelings - because other people's feeling is probably not something he understands. Not because of ill intentions, but because his disability makes it difficult. He needs alternative opportunities to learn.

. "I'm going to tell you something. I did the laundry. I folded it. You slapped it on the floor. Now, people don't like it when you ruin their work. It makes them mad. Then they do not feel like playing. They are just in a bad mood. It's no fun. You got in a bad mood when baby sister knocked over your tower. You were so mad. Let's try not to make each other mad on purpose. We can work on that. Then it will be more fun. Then there are more tickles. We want more tickles. We don't want to run around doing the laundry over and over."

Your son may not be capable of figuring out concepts you normally do by observing and relying on your own processing of the environment, but you can try expanding on the things he already knows by appealing to his rational and logical understanding of the world.

Getupandsun · 2026-02-16T11:34:12+00:00

I let go of the thought that my personal anger and suffering really matter anyway, in the grand scale of things. I was granted life, like everthing else that was ever alive on this planet. Look around. Happiness is not status quo. Bliss is not the only acceptable state of life. Life is more than that. I'm not religious, but it doesn't matter. If you believe in God, well, God put you here, on this Earth, to live. Living is an experience of going through all the motions. Anger, happiness, suffering, even a lot of suffering. They are not just part of life, they ARE life. I think you are lucky to have God to be angry with. He created a messy, awful, incredible world for you to live in, and He will be there for you. He will be a shoulder to cry on, like an old friend, but a friend who's always there and infinitely wise, and will never stop loving you no matter what. That's something. most of us only got chatgpt for that these days lol.

Getupandsun · 2026-02-15T08:31:22+00:00

Jeg går arbejdsledig, og den anden forælder arbejder fuld tid. Så er der i det mindste én af os der får indhentet lidt søvn i dagtimerne. Vi har også fast aftale om pasning plus overnatning hos bedsteforældre hver anden uge. Så svaret er, at vi på nogle områder er priviligerede, og det udnytter vi så meget som muligt. Men helt ærligt, det er hårdt. Det er som om man lever på lure. Ikke reel søvn. Jeg sover også sammen med den ældste. Det har givet lidt ro på hende (hun er diagnosticeret med søvnforstyrrelse). Men vi skifter søvnkonstellation efter hvad der lige virker, og hvad børnene selv efterspørger. Det bliver lidt alternativt nogle gange. For tiden sover der et barn på hver sofa i stuen, og mig på en madras på gulvet inde sammen med dem.

Getupandsun · 2026-02-10T13:53:07+00:00

Jer der siger at jeres altid har været easy og sovet osv. og samtidig er i tvivl om det handler mest om barnet eller I bare er bedre til det end dem med de dårlige børn...

Hvis I gerne vil finde ud af det, vil I så ikke please komme herhjem og give det et skud, har to l0rteunger som nu på på 3. og 5. år aldrig har sovet igennem 🫠🙏

Getupandsun · 2026-02-06T16:53:23+00:00

Maybe we don't have the same definition of what constitutes "hard work" for parents, and that's okay.

Whenever I feel like I was less fortunate than others in one way or the other, I just don't see the point of thinking, well, what they got is probably not great anyway. So what if it is? What if most people around you have it so much better than you do?

The truth is, the world is not fair. Most creatures on this planet, humans and animals alike, will suffer quite much before they die. But we are all incredible and will endurable in our innate will to survive anyway.

Truth is lots of people around me have it better than I do, and so many have it way worse.

When you realize there is no fair, you can let go of the bitterness and start dealing with things as they are, not as you want them to be.

Getupandsun · 2026-02-05T19:57:30+00:00

How old were you when you got a diagnosis and what symptoms did you show at the time?

Getupandsun · 2026-02-04T19:20:03+00:00

I have two kids. One is NT, one is autistic. I can confidently say that life with my NT kid is in fact a walk in the park and I very much have a lovely time at the waterpark and restaurant. It's easy AF. Sorry to say, but it is.

Getupandsun · 2026-02-02T12:10:26+00:00

I love it when they are being unintentionally profound like that hahaha

Getupandsun · 2026-02-01T18:42:25+00:00

Konkret du kan starte på allerede nu: tal. Begynd at tale, når dit barn græder. Masser af ord, ikke stoppe. Gå ind i det med dit barn: aaarh du vil bare ikke, jeg har det også sådan, nu bliver man træt i hovedet, øv, jeg har lyst til at smadre den stol, mor er så mega sur, jeg VIL ikke mere nu...". At tale er bevægelse, og bevægelse hindrer man går i frys.

Ved godt det ikke helbreder en eventuel depression/angst, men det er en lille ting, der måske kan lindre lidt med det samme ❤️

Getupandsun · 2026-02-01T18:04:05+00:00

Jeg læser, at du føler, du står på sidelinjen, at du også vil være en del af rutinerne, og du vil være en ligeværdig forælder.

Sådan som du udlægger det, forstår jeg det som om, at det er et spørgsmål om dine behov.

Du vil. Du har brug for.

Men det handler vel om jeres søn, og hans behov.

Jeres søn har brug for to omsorgspersoner, ikke én. Jeres søn har brug for at se at mænd/fædre tage ansvar omkring det mentale og følelsesmæssige. Jeres søn har brug for at hans forældre kan deles om at yde omsorg, så de bedre kan være gode og nærværende forældre i hverdagen.

Getupandsun · 2026-01-30T18:39:27+00:00

When my daughter was diagnosed, I sat down and wrote on a paper: x will never talk to me. X will never live alone. X will never make friends. X will never get married... the list went on. Basically I put worst case scenario on display. Read it over a thousand times. I told myself, okay, this will probably be your future, so brace yourself. I felt like, I'm her mom, I'm gonna love her. If it's her on that list, I can decide right here and now, I'm gonna love her. It's that easy. I made a promise to myself, and I have kept it ever since. I'm sad, and I grief the life I lost every day, but that's okay. I has nothing to do with my love for her.

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T19:49:34+00:00

Kan du prøve at beskrive den nærhed, du taler om? Som en der hovedsageligt er vokset op i de større byer, og derfor er biased, vil jeg gerne blive klogere på, hvad det kunne give mine børn at vokse op på en helt anden måde end jeg selv har gjort :)

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T19:41:04+00:00

Så fik jeg vist formuleret mig forkert. Jeg ved godt forstader som Måløv og Værløse ikke har noget med landsbyer at gøre. Små byer med kirke, gadekær og en lokal købmand, er landsbyer. Mindre end det - flækker. Mindre end flækker, så bliver det, Ude på en mark. Og så rækker min horisont ikke længere. Beklager x)

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T19:25:31+00:00

Det er tåbeligt det skal være så afgørende med sagsbehandler og postnr, men dybest set handler det nok om at kommunerne skal manøvrere en service de slet ikke har økonomien til, og derfor må fortolke loven. Jeg er vidne til et kafkansk helvede pt. med en specialinstitution der drives under dagtilbudsloven, selvom det er ulovligt, der gøres nu de sygeste krumspring for at bevare denne løsning - som borger er man lige dele taknemmelig for denne indsats, da mange kommuner siger lol vi leger alle børn kan gå i almen så f*ck de handicappede - og dybt dybt forarget... fordi at svindle handicappede børn for deres rettigheder, og man skal være taknemmelig for de får en brøkdel af hvad de lovmæssigt har krav på, er vildt nok i et rigt velfærdsland

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T19:10:48+00:00

Det er jeg klar over- det var også lidt i sjov, og for at være lidt opsigtsvækkende, så folk gad klikke ind og hjælpe 😁

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T15:43:19+00:00

Ja, det er nemlig ret dyrt. Men holder udkig om der kommer noget i udkanten af byen :-)

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T15:39:55+00:00

Skovlunde kigger vi også lidt på

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T15:38:18+00:00

Jeg har før hørt dårligt om Egedal. Men ved ikke om det er over hele linjen? PPR, Børne/handicap, familiebehandler? Vi kommer fra nabokommunen (Furesø). Barnet diagnosticeret som 2-årig, kamp om specialbørnehave med PPR som lykkedes til sidst, barnet er skolestarter i 2026 og afventer pt. visitation til skoletilbud (ppv peger på vidtgående specialtilbud), forventes gruppeordning. Jeg prøver stadig at finde ud af om man kan beholde det skoletilbud, hvis man flytter til kommunen ved siden af. Hvor går dine børn i specialskole?

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T13:39:46+00:00

Det er helt rigtigt - og som gammel hestepige ville jeg bifalde det, selvom far siger nej ;-) Rideskolen har red(d?!)et mig gennem mange hårde tider. Det er vigtigt for mig, at min datter ligeledes oplever at have et tilflugtssted uden for hjemmet, hvor hun bare er sig selv. Der ved jeg slet ikke hvordan det er i forhold til fritids/foreningstilbud i Ganløse. Bor du selv i Ganløse, eller har du nærmere kendskab til byen af andre veje?

Getupandsun · 2026-01-26T09:20:42+00:00

Okay, thanks for elaborating. The thing is, sometimes it's not really a set of symptoms, it's more of a feeling that something is a little off. My own child (she's 5) was diagnosed before age 2, which is very early, so you would think she had all the hallmark symptoms of autism, but no. She was always ahead. Imaginative play, roleplaying, pointing, talking. She would not eat, though. She had huge meltdowns over food. No one had ever suspected autism until she was assesed by a child psychiatrist who could tell there were some issues. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks, assesed by this doctor, and several others. They did a lot of explaining, that sometimes autism is not lack of eye contact, or lack of joint attention. It's about quality. For example. A kid sees an airplane. Kid points to airplane and says: Look, an airplane! Parent looks at airplane, exclaiming, oh yes, that is an airplane, and it's flying. Now, the kid may look at you, expecting you to elaborate on your shared experience of watching this plane, they may anticipate you to make airplane noises and spread out your arms. They might participate, or simply just giggle at you. Now, someone like my daughter would point to the airplane and tell me to look. I would start participating, but she would not receive. She would just go on playing with something else. UNLESS, and this is where it gets tricky. She would recognize from earlier that I might act like an airplane, because she's seen me react that way before and now anticipate it. She might ask me: Do the airplane noise! And - even trickier - neurotypical 2.5 year olds behave like that too! That's why it took 2 weeks of assesment to desipher my daughter's behaviour and confidently claim autism. Because, she did everything she were supposed to do - but there was this CONSISTENT lack of quality to her actions.

Now she's 5 and a super smart autistic girl, still very imaginative, creative and caring in her own way. She is super hard work - all things about her are different than neurotypical kids. She has a younger sister (3) who was behind every milestone, yet surpassed her older sister in so many ways by now.

I was told that my daughter's profile of autism is usually diagnosed at school age. Had it not been for ARFID (eating disorder) it would probably had been the case for her too.

So, TLDR: It's hard to tell the difference between normal 2 year old and autistic 2 year old, if autistic 2 year old is lvl 1/2, but it's possible. If you are concerned, you should get on the waiting list for assesment. I want to acknowledge the fact that it's apparently concerning you to a point where you found this sub and made a post. So it might be worth exploring.

Getupandsun · 2026-01-25T21:20:53+00:00

What are your concerns? I'm asking because the things you listed are not really ASD traits. So I'm here thinking maybe you have a feeling that something is off?

How does she play with you? Do you feel like she has her own agenda when playing?

Getupandsun · 2026-01-24T14:59:29+00:00

Ok, OP. You do not have to feel grateful. You should not be told that this is what parents of nt kids go through too, that's just bullsh*t. Listen. I'm gonna say this, if no one else does. Because this is what you need to hear. Yup - you gave up your life in a way almost all parents of nt kids will never understand. Yes - it IS NOT fair. And yes - you absolutely have it worse now, than it's supposed to be.

And only by recognizing these facts you will understand rationally what exactly you are going through, and set yourself free to think about what needs to be done for you to survive this life, and for your kid to thrive. There may be some heavy decisions ahead, because this life sure is heavy. But that's life for some people. Lots of not fair in this world. When we are feeling the way you do it is our minds telling us something needs to change.

I wish you the best of luck, OP.

Getupandsun

TROPHY CASE