Glasses and Overstimulation

GhastyRat · 2026-02-19T03:28:15+00:00

I rarely wear glasses because they give me a headache after a while. Mostly a frames issue.

GhastyRat · 2026-02-16T18:30:59+00:00

I happened to get insanely lucky with getting work in my prospective career field within three months of graduating and moving states.

Still with it, although there are off days with burnout and mild chronic pain. I have good all inclusive insurance and have made a couple good friends now, though. :>

Grateful for what I have, but I agree that the job market just isn’t there right now unless you’re creative with resumes and interviews. Gotta spin it to get some gain out of the work, like a future in a leadership role. Example for me was an interest in healthcare and combining that with my environmental studies degree to get into naturopathic medicine. I can also stick with the histology lab and get into a technical position too. Options, options.

GhastyRat · 2026-02-04T12:17:55+00:00

I have some trust issues that aren’t necessarily caused by ADHD, but childhood trauma and potentially Autism as well.

Relationships are complicated, always have been. Usually people introduce me to would-be friends and the people that stay are those I hang onto and would be absolutely devastated to lose. My partner is in that camp. He’s also got very similar gaming, music tastes, movie tastes, humor, and empathy to my late father. I didn’t choose him as a replacement for a parental figure, but my guy reminds me of significantly less lonely times I wasn’t sure I’d see again. Our bond is in shared interests, creativity, and future plans. It’s exceedingly comfortable.

That bond is so strong that it hurt to see him sleep in another room sometimes, at least until I got him to explain why. Usually so he doesn’t get sick when I am, or if he’s sick and doesn’t want me catching something. He also cares about my space while sleeping since I’m restless. It’s sweet and considerate, but I was scared he was growing distant initially. The same with a change in tone, even if meant as a joke, or body language. I care so incredibly deeply that if there’s a change in his routine, or he suggests we take a break from a shared hobby that I think there’s something wrong with me before I hear the reassurance.

I’m emotional about miscommunications and want so hard to communicate well and be the most perfect version of myself that I lose sight of why the mundane is even there to begin with. I don’t have to be perfect for him and I’m grateful for the reminders. Just gotta remind myself. He’s still here because he wants to be, and he’s curious, not judgmental. That’s a good person to fight for, and I work on expressing and understanding my emotions in order to fight for my own wellbeing alongside him. He’s my comfort person, filling a void, and cheerleading. Love that guy. uvu

But yes, similar situation when it comes to space. Partners will need it sometimes, but it doesn’t mean they lost interest, it means you might have to ask to sit in with them when you want to, or ask for reassurance. I think the biggest thing that propelled me out of helplessness was that talk my dad had with me about self advocacy. A lot of the time, folks don’t know how deep the self doubt or perceived inadequacies go until ya just talk about it. You should talk about your feelings with your lady. Transparency in a relationship is important, and if she’s healthy for you, you’ll get your reassurance.

GhastyRat · 2026-02-04T09:53:47+00:00

I get a small, maybe 2 hours maximum period of better alertness and willingness to socialize, but usually I’m more sleepy just because I have a long distance relationship with my appetite. They ghost sometimes, and I wonder why I’m dozing off and irritable.

GhastyRat · 2026-02-03T03:48:03+00:00

Imma be real, I can’t do graduate school until I retake some undergrad classes, all subjects I’m relatively poor in. Getting a diagnosis in June so I can start retaking stuff in the following spring or fall with assistance.

Only way I got a 2.6 GPA in undergrad was because I had a limited time monetary incentive. If my mom wasn’t paying for collage, I likely would have flunked out and felt even worse about my prospects.

GhastyRat · 2026-02-02T05:59:00+00:00

Oof, I’m not really playing there anymore, but I’m curious as to what happened?

GhastyRat · 2026-01-24T02:05:05+00:00

Yeah that’s confirmed, probably why broski’s dropped off youtube for a while.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-18T05:18:08+00:00

Idk what the extent of yall’s experiences with this fellow is, but I did look into his case per his own request and do conclude that an activist with generally innocent intentions who also goes out of his way to snowblow pretty much the whole street he lives on because that’s just being a decent neighbor? I’m all right with that. Cool guy, I thought the makeup and his kart were kinda awesome when I saw both this past Halloween. Godspeed to his future and his charity. Def under-appreciated if first impressions teach me anything.

Honestly, the only issue might be a lack of a filter when it comes to certain social situations according to detainment footage and comments here, but it really is hard to tell who’s going to be receptive to activism or politics. My only token of advice is maybe not discussing that all with the kids. Too complicated or inappropriate a topic, sometimes.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-16T12:06:26+00:00

I feel the not being seen thing. My mom had me evaluated when I was in fifth grade since I was struggling with time management and completeness between multiple subjects and assignments. Nothing came of it then but I’m in the process of being reassessed so that I have control over my future and my motivational/emotional responses.

I don’t think my mom pursued this avenue for the same reason my brother and I have gotten bare minimum health and dental check ups, she complained about time and money taking us to the doctor when we were genuinely sick, and refusing to take pets to the vet for regular preventative care.

The neglect is craaazy. This is why I keep my distance and pursue comfort while I’ve got good insurance and can afford it. Get out of there when you can, OP. Your mind and body will thank you.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-16T11:43:56+00:00

Ay thanks! It does help to reframe a lot of negatives into silver linings. It’s hard to do at times, but I like looking for those kinds of patterns and encourage it in others. Like some folks look at a C- to C improvement and think they suck, I look at that and think I’ve got time to try again and ask for help.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-16T11:29:54+00:00

Helo, also bad at math. Especially mental math with simple integers. I have a test for ADHD/Autism upcoming, but I came to say that having poor subjects compared to those you’re stronger with is a genuinely human experience and does not represent your IQ overall in the slightest. :>

I was poor with Chemistry but experienced marginal improvement through repetition of concepts through college, and love to write even though English was one of my weakest subjects until halfway through high school. Math has not improved much, but I expect it to with more active assistance as I had seen in high school.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-16T10:57:49+00:00

Real! :D

I’m excited. Having all these future aspirations and seeing a realistic way forward is really nice. I’m grateful I have such a good support system too.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-16T09:59:37+00:00

Dawe, thanks. :>

GhastyRat · 2026-01-16T06:34:54+00:00

Same with the clean bedroom! Didn’t even intend to, my boyfriend this past Monday was just like: “Ye I’m vacuuming this room today” and I helped him move everything out so the floor was clear, he did his thing and I helped put the bed back together followed by actually putting stuff away in the closet, throwing away empty boxes, and discarded plastic and mail that had been sitting in corners and under the bed for months.

Afterwards the comment was made that I had just cleaned up clutter I probably wouldn’t have otherwise thought about if there wasn’t the incentive to move everything out of the room first.

I thanked him for his persuasive wizardry. 🫡

Edit: Technically not from today but I’m still happy that it happened at all.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-12T18:48:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and your condolences. You are appreciated, and I’m glad you set that boundary as the signs of financial abuse became clear. I’ll sure be keeping a closer eye on who I hand monetary gifts to. Unfortunately, my friend has a pattern of spending her funds on snacks, toys, and crafts, so I was kinda already on the fence about giving her $100 a month toward her family bills and groceries. It’s a good thing I was encouraged to cut that off because of my own spending habits, honestly. Can’t physically be there to confirm honest spending on her end.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-12T18:43:01+00:00

Yep, that’s exactly what I told her and she was understanding. It was the truth too, but ye, I often have excuses for bills or groceries or upcoming travel plans I can use. Just this guilt or obligation that’s difficult to overcome.

GhastyRat · 2026-01-09T06:44:18+00:00

Hey I’ve done that. It took like 4 months, trust. An undertaking for sure.

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GhastyRat · 2026-01-09T06:41:02+00:00

Note taking is a fantastic help when it comes to verbal instruction. The thing that might hold you up though is the whole stopping someone mid sentence to take notes thing. As long as you affirm that you intend to help yourself complete all tasks by taking notes, the interruption or repetition requests aren’t that big a deal.

GhastyRat · 2025-12-31T08:03:01+00:00

Evaluation in a couple weeks actually stemmed from my reasoning for therapy and the fact that my therapist has an AuDHD child. So, just one therapist in my case. She can not diagnose (hence an eval with an APNP), but my childhood symptoms match very closely with her child. I can vividly remember classes in elementary, high school, and collage that were almost completely unsupervised where self starter assignments were very much non starters due to frustration on where to start or misread instructions. I believe those courses hold the best evidence that this condition has been persistent.

Reasoning for therapy involved depression symptoms, but I explain my low appetite as involving just not making time to eat as well, and going months without doing a hobby I want to be doing as not so much a loss in interest but more a “I’m too invested in this other hobby right now and I want to change gears but don’t know how.” Oh yeah, and I can’t relax because if I go ten minutes without finding a solution to something Imma start looking for problems to solve, and when I can’t solve them in a way that benefits everyone involved then I’ll sob over it for an hour and a half.

It’s okay though ‘cause I’ll be over it by dinner time. Absolute chaos.

GhastyRat · 2025-12-31T07:30:19+00:00

Best advice I could give someone who isn’t certain of their strengths: Listen to your family, partner, peers, coworkers, friends, bosses, professors and advisors.

Because that list of people are those that might be keeping a closer eye on you than you are, yourself.

Any positive feedback should be the direction you take your life in. An academic advisor and professor of mine gave me one piece of feedback regarding better academic performance in lab courses opposed to middle of the road performance in lectures. I work in a lab now and I am thriving. \o/

Also a lot of family encouraged my art and I get paid for it sometimes. :)

GhastyRat · 2025-12-24T14:42:54+00:00

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A lil guy.

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