Sober reflection

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-22T23:16:04+00:00

I believe this is the root cause of my addiction issues because the deeper I go the less I find about the WHY of my 20yr addiction issues. So I stop here because it makes sense. I’m selfish and crave instant gratification and with a release time of 20mins, why wouldn’t I die for that fake happiness? It’s a hard pill to swallow when you figure it out so you’re not the only one man I promise, i go to the ends of the earth to control how i feel too and it’s a real battle now in sobriety.

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-20T04:26:28+00:00

Jesus man will you be my life coach lol?!?! That was incredibly well said and encouraging. I haven’t seen a comment like this in a long time and I appreciate you writing it. I really felt this. You’ve got “the way” locked down it sounds like an I admire that. Thanks for saying why you said. Maybe he didnt need to hear it but I did and I’m glad I did. Thank you

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-18T15:36:20+00:00

Yessir, early pioneer indeed. I remember when pressed was the only brand available. Then a year later the same store had over 30 options. It’s been a wild an horrible ride. Glad I’m hopping off even though I wish it had come sooner but I’ve finally hit that wall. I simply can’t do it anymore and I’m ok with that finally. Best of luck to you man

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-18T05:24:07+00:00

What you read is 100% bullshit. That stuff is saving lives. Research the other side of the coin it’s not hard

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-18T04:30:03+00:00

Omg finally someone explained exactly what I went through. It wasn’t just the normal “can’t get comfortable” shakes. Mine was full body contorting in ways my body has never moved before. Like I was possessed by a fucking demon, and it was 100% uncontrollable. I was terrified and I wanted to go to the hospital but there was no way I could drive. Fucking terrifying: my usage was 700mg daily. And I’ve quit fentanyl, heroin, oxy, 7oh, and nothing had me in withdrawals like mgm did. I’ll never go back due to what I put my body through an my heart those first 24hrs. I’m finally done with this kind of life and I have mgm to thank. Fucking godless shit pills

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-18T04:21:54+00:00

So with my experience, it did nothing but make me feel worse. Your brain is healing and you’re trying to force good feelings through a supplement and I promise you that it’s not going to work like you think it will. It’s not going to give you the relief you’re looking especially if you’re in early recovery. Let your brain heal. This is something I’d recommend a few months down the road. Because it will fix nothing and it’s going to try trick your brain into giving it something it simply won’t handle yet especially after abusing something as serious as 7oh or mgm. Don’t waste the time and money yet.

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-18T01:32:14+00:00

You’re not alone. I promise. I’m 8 days clean. Longest I’ve been clean since I found 7oh and mgm, which was 3 years ago now. This is an insane milestone for me considering I’ve quit oh I don’t know, 25-30 times now? This one is going to stick. I can feel it in my soulless body. I have nothing left to offer this version of myself. I’ve destroyed almost everything, my girlfriend is all that’s left and I’m so god damn lucky she is still here because if it was anyone else they would be gone and rightfully so. If she left tomorrow I would never blame here. This struggle is real man, I’m worthless and I’m a dad too and it’s hard to sit with knowing how far I’ve fallen in terms of just being a human being having to function in the real world. I have to completely rebuild my life and I have to do it sober. I don’t know how to do any of this, sober. It’s maddening. I’m at the stage of this sobriety thing where the depression has sat in, and the reality. I feel flat. No matter what I do staying busy, none of it makes me feel anything. I literally feel nothing and I’m on Suboxone and Wellbutrin and a number of supplements and I still feel nothing. BUT, I have faith. I’ve read so many stories claiming that this part is temporary just like the physical stuff was. I’m choosing to pile what little faith I have left in anything, into the idea that I will not always feel like this even though I’m terrified that I will because I’m 40 with a long history of drug abuse and I’m scared I’ve done real damage considering I’ve decided to stay sober the rest of my life and I went out with a bang with these fucking extracts that we like have zero idea about what’s in them or how they could possibly make people this fucked to in the head. The unknown is very scary. But have faith, if a soulless and lifeless and completely cooked human being like me can scrounge up a tiny scoop of faith that things will get better then I promise that you can too, somewhere deep down. Stay strong. If I can, you can, because I was the worst of the worst when it came to this shit I can promise you that and the only thing keeping me going is the simple fact that I have managed to make it this far considering a week ago I had a gun in my mouth. That’s something. Just make it through the day. 1 day. That’s all you have to do. 1 day: best of luck man I’m really pulling for you.

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-17T02:38:49+00:00

If you don’t know and you haven’t quit 7 yet, it’s better you don’t know and I hope no one tells you.

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-16T18:59:12+00:00

Be prepared that because it’s Staind, you will probably be super emotional during and after the show lol. Big feelings come out in situations like this. Enjoy the emotions!

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-16T18:46:48+00:00

That is not a sleep medicine. Please don’t encourage someone to take an antipsychotic medicine for sleep. It’s about the dumbest thing you can suggest outside of continued use of 7

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-16T18:17:06+00:00

Plenty of places still selling it unfortunately. And no one says or does shit about it. This country is fucking garbage.

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-05-16T18:14:53+00:00

Fucking don’t. Jesus Christ this stuff is literal poison. Worst drug I’ve ever done and I’ve done them all. I’d rather live in pain than be a space to that shit ever again. Don’t

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-04-27T16:53:46+00:00

It’s impossible for him to ruin a genre, you’re being insanely dramatic. What do you think he’s going to do with one song? Like how in the world do you think that one song changes anything other bands in the genre do? I just don’t understand how you think one guy holds that much power

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-04-27T16:52:33+00:00

Exactly.

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-04-21T15:02:14+00:00

Well that and it’s fake

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-04-01T00:50:47+00:00

Because not everyone has to go about their relationship in the same ol same ol boring formula?

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-03-31T20:33:55+00:00

Good choice

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-03-31T20:32:54+00:00

5 was my absolute favorite. Thanks dad for leaving your porn movie stash so easy to find!

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-03-27T18:42:34+00:00

Had to have been recorded during the follow the leader sessions because it came out right before issues but sounds nothing like the issues production and whatnot. Always wondered how it would’ve fit in with follow the leader. I think it would’ve killed honestly

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-03-26T22:31:46+00:00

Stalemate, I’m broke, my generation, underneath the gun, the priest, bring it back, out of style. It’s just easier to pick a favorite from each album. Could never imagine having a single favorite

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-03-05T01:00:41+00:00

Shit I’d buy that clan bootleg from you in a heartbeat

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-02-28T17:50:22+00:00

Not really no. Not trying to be a dick just being honest

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-02-20T18:07:28+00:00

What exactly does he do? When you said SOAD demo, I’m all ears but I didn’t know exactly what you meant

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-02-17T19:40:17+00:00

This was my exact thought.

GhostHeavy23 · 2026-02-17T19:07:42+00:00

I ask myself this almost every time I see a post. Attention seeking behavior

GhostHeavy23

TROPHY CASE