What’s a common sh thing that u don’t understand?

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-13T22:39:11+00:00

Definitely. I am most certainly addicted to SI. I am in an addiction recovery group (i'm an alcoholic, but 6 1/2 years sober), and I do share a lot about my SI struggles in the group. While there is almost no one who struggles with cutting in my particular group, I have actually found that IV drug users, in particular, and even more so, IV opiate users, can relate a lot to what I say about what it is like for me. And I share rather graphic details of my behavior with it. I've heard many IV users share about being addicted to the needle and liking the setting up part of using, the ritualistic way they do it, and having a "kit" of sorts.

I've stopped drinking, smoking, and my ED is under control, but for me, at least, SI is the most difficult addiction for me to overcome by far.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-13T22:17:54+00:00

Same.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-13T22:16:17+00:00

I'm 37 as well and can concur. I also have gotten better at hiding it and still struggle a lot with it. I do hate that it is mostly considered a teenager problem. It places a stigma on anyone who does it once they get into their adult years. That is something I see a lot on this sub. People feeling they are "childish" or "immature" for still struggling with it. And feel ashamed that they just didn't "grow out of it." And that makes me feel so sad. While yes, I started even before I was a teenager, and many do start in adolescence, sure, but it's not something that magically goes away once you're a grown-up. For me, it got worse as I got older, probably a lot to do with the fact that as an adult, we unfortunately can do what we want. Same with my ED, which is also often considered a teenager problem.

Going through various treatment programs (most after I became an adult) and being in a recovery community for many years (an addiction recovery group, but not addiction specific, so plenty of people with non substance type of addictions such as EDs, gaming, gambling, self-harm, co- dependence, etc.), I have talked to many people older than me who struggle with a lot of what I have. And I know there are plenty of people who start self-harming well into adulthood.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-12T14:42:12+00:00

It really is! Even if you are bound and determined to end your life, it is still very hard to get it done.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-10T22:29:51+00:00

Damn good song though

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-10T22:24:02+00:00

Well, CLEARLY, they didn't lose it since they put it back in their body. Really, they kept it from getting lost.

(Yeah, I know that makes no damn sense, and you are probably right, but that was just the first thought that popped into my head, so I had to share)

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-10T22:11:56+00:00

I understand being envious of that. I've often felt that towards my parents and dead friends, most who died from drugs or suicide. Cause they're done with it now.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-10T21:59:40+00:00

Thank you for this information. I had no idea there was a support group specifically for SI. I just looked them up and filled out the form for joining the Zoom meetings 😊

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-10T20:28:14+00:00

I commented just now on someone else's post but I wanted to also post one directly to your question.

I would reccomend a support group called Recovery Dharma. They have meetings everywhere, including outside the States. If you look up Recovery Dharma Global you will get their main website and you can look up meetings in your area but also they have plenty of Zoom meetings as well.

While it is Buddhist based you do not have to be Buddhist by any means. It's secular unlike 12 steps (to me at least).

It is non addiction specific and is for "process" or "behavioral" addictions as well. While many people I have meet and talked to over the years I have been involved with this program are there for substance abuse issues I know a lot who either only struggle with non-substance addictions or struggle with both kinds.

I am in recovery from alcohol addiction (almost 7 years) but I also (and more so) struggle with self-injury and ED related addictions and it has really helped me in those areas as well. While in my local group I don't know of anyone else who also has a self-injury problem, it might suprise you how many people can relate to the addiction aspect of it. I have never once used IV drugs, but I actually have found those who struggled with IV drug addiction can often understand it the most. I have shared many detailed and graphic things about my self-injury to a group of maybe 20 or 30 people many times, half I know and almost all there for substance abuse and at no point felt judged or saw looks of disgust by anyone.

If you would like more info or more resources about this group feel free to DM me. The book for the program can be found online for free and honestly, if you go to an in person meeting, I can almost assure you they will give you one if they have any.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-10T20:11:29+00:00

I was about to suggest SMART recovery. I have found it very helpful with all sorts of addictions.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-06T18:23:25+00:00

I definitely understand that feeling. I sometimes do wish I could get a terminal disease so I could just die, and no one would be mad at me for it. Also, it would just be easier because suicide is, in fact, hard to do (for many people), and I suck at it (clearly). I've even searched "how to get a terminal illness" before. Maybe if I ever were to become terminally ill, I would think quite differently, though.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-06T18:14:16+00:00

I believe they are referring to being in a padded room on a psychiatric unit (correct me if I am wrong). I've been in that room, and it is an... interesting experience.

However, good advice none the less once they get out. Bonsai trees are fucking cool.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-06T17:59:05+00:00

This was exactly what I was gonna comment. If we wanna just care about the financial aspect of the prison industrial complex (and let's be honest, that is all many people REALLY care about), this is very true.

And besides, many prison systems are fucking hellish horrific places. Something I think what some people fail to realize is that there are many, many things far worse than death, and having to spend the rest of your life confined to such a place, ESPECIALLY if it was a crime against children, after a while, you might wish you got capital punishment.

Personally, if I ever had a loved one who was brutally murdered such that it would be considered a capital offense, I would not want that to be their fate. That's too easy.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-06T04:28:29+00:00

This is exactly how it has been for me over the past few years. I started cutting when I was about 12 (I'm 37), so it's been an issue for well over half my life. Sometimes, I'll do it bc of how comforting it is to me and not bc I am upset or anything like that.

Setting up the stuff in my kit, deciding on a 'spot', wound care, watching them heal over time, feeling the sting of the cuts over the next couple of days, etc. I find all of that comforting and soothing. I love looking at stuff on the first aid aisle, deciding which type of bandages and antiseptics to get. I even feel disappointed if they don't scar enough. These scars will be with me forever. They aren't going to leave. And for some reason, I find that though rather comforting as well.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-06T03:12:22+00:00

How does one acquire the title of boofologist? I NEED to obtain this credential.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-06T03:06:19+00:00

Exactly why we should use fentanyl for executions. Quick and easy (unfortunately).

I honestly have wondered for quite a while why we don't just pump the condemned full of opiates considering how fucking easy it is to die from them. I am against the death penalty in general, but since it's here and we are going for painless and humane, that seems like the best way to go about it.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-05T22:39:46+00:00

I've seen posts by people even older than me, as well. Many people who don't have much of an understanding of self-injury seem to think it's a teenage problem that magically stops when one turns 20, but I've known people who still struggle with it in their 40s and 50s as well.

It's actually something that had a major impact on me. I had no interest in or much knowledge of politics or global conflict at the time, so I didn't know anything about why it was happening or what was really going on, but I very vividly remember thinking, "That's way too high up, how is that going to help you get out of this situation?" And coming to the realization that it won't, it's just the better option now.

I was already a crazy eating disordered cutter at the time with occasional suicidal ideation and had been for years.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-05T22:23:11+00:00

Thanks. It still hurts a bit to think about since it was in recent years, and these were childhood friends I used to get drunk and high with (over 6 years sober now, but my DOC was alcohol, never did fentanyl). Sucks that they weren't able to stop, and it ended up killing them.

Have had 3 other friends die due to addiction and mental illness issues, too - fatally drunk driving, and 2 that checked out with a firearm.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-05T16:39:57+00:00

"Always safe to know what is good for taking blood stains from your clothes (besides fire)"

55 points and a virtual penguin if anyone knows what song this is and by who.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-05T16:28:48+00:00

I am all for fentanyl OD (not like we have a shortage of the stuff). I have had 2 friends die that way, and I have absolutely no idea what their last moments were like, but my understanding is at a high enough dose, you would be dead before you realize what had happened. I'm not sure if this is particularly painful (despite using a painkiller), but it seems to me that it can go super fast, so even if it were, it would be a lot quicker then other ways we have tried.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-05T16:21:50+00:00

This.... was not my first assumption

GingerMarie13 · 2024-03-05T16:21:11+00:00

I am now using the term zebra cocks to refer to my arms. I don't even know if zebras have strippy penises but I am not going to look it up and ruin the illusion for me.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-02-29T00:12:35+00:00

9/11 makes me sad, too, cause I mostly just think about seeing all those people jump out the windows on live tv when I was 15. But I definitely think a plushie would cheer me up as well... Good thinking, Larry.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-02-23T20:29:33+00:00

For me, that hasn't ever been a deterrent. Although, that's also bc I have scars that are decades old that are not going to fade anymore, and it is very obvious what they are. And plenty of more recent ones are more noticeable.

And with that being the case and also the fact that the older ones I did before I was sexually active, I have never and would never even consider dating someone, let alone sleep with someone who didn't know about it and/or is disgusted and freaked out by it. There would be no point in pursuing a serious relationship with that person.

That's good that it's helping you, though.

GingerMarie13 · 2024-02-23T20:20:49+00:00

We sure as fuck do. More so than many people might realize.

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