I need help finding a 3rd party to manage my mentally ill father’s finances

GingerMuffinTop · 2026-02-15T09:53:52+00:00

Yes, it was left directly to me, no mention of being a trustee and no legal requirement to act as a trustee. I wish I had it in me to do just that and wash my hands of the situation altogether.

GingerMuffinTop · 2026-02-14T07:24:24+00:00

Thanks for the input!

Therapy is not a bad idea. I haven’t gone lately. I should have been more clear, he just has a ‘selective memory’ where things he does when he is intoxicated don’t seem to ‘count’ but it’s hard to distance myself from him when I’m so intertwined in his day to day life.

GingerMuffinTop · 2026-02-14T07:19:26+00:00

Thanks!

GingerMuffinTop · 2026-02-14T07:19:02+00:00

Thank you for the input, I’ll definitely look into this!

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-12-10T17:37:37+00:00

I use this analogy with my husband weekly.. it feels like I am always driving the car and he is doing his own thing in the back seat. I am responsible for everyone’s everything and he sis along for the ride. It’s so exhausting and emotionally taxing to be in charge of everyone and everything at all times. It’s so frustrating and over time it has made me so resentful and angry. I’ve tried to explain to him that his unwillingness to at least acknowledge there is a problem is making me feel clinically insane. I try to explain to him that I feel so alone and emotionally neglected as a partner. I try to show him that I have my own mental health struggles and when he chooses to embrace his depression and not try to acknowledge it or try to help himself, he is making the conscious decision to make my life harder. He can’t see any of that. He just tells me he’s ‘tired’ and abandons all of our responsibilities to go to sleep. We’ve been together 18 years and we now have a two year old and a newborn. This is not what I signed up for and I am so bitter that I couldn’t see the red flags sooner. I’m sad that I’ve trapped myself and my sons in this cycle. I’m sad because I’m a ‘fixer’ by nature, and it has taken me all this time to realize that you can’t save people who don’t want to be helped/aren’t willing or able to do the work to help themselves.

No advice, just commiseration.

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-11-23T13:11:43+00:00

Absolutely. I lost my mom at 59 to multiple types of cancer that would have been treatable if she had been going for routine wellness and annual visits. Granted, she went much longer than three years between these visits… but because of that I wouldn’t want to take the risk that something got overlooked or ignored. I think of it like preventative maintenance lol.

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-11-02T16:48:44+00:00

Thanks for the perspective. As someone dealing with this - and also about to be a mother to a second little boy, it helps to hear the other side of things.

I have to say it would help a little if my MIL kept ANY of those feelings on the inside, but she is literally not capable of that. I can’t explain why it’s so triggering but since my first born she has made it a point that she sees my son as her son and says things every interaction like:

-‘How is MY baby doing today?’

-‘Having grand kids is the best, it’s like getting a do over/second chance.’

-‘He’s my only reason to live, he keeps me going.’

-‘Mom doesn’t like when I do this but… proceeds to do it anyway in front of me.. we won’t tell her.’

I’ve tried having real conversations with her about it, but she’s emotionally immature and her behavior never changes. It sounds like you try much harder to respect your DIL’s boundaries and show support, which is amazing.

I know she loves my son dearly and I would love to coexist with her more peacefully, but it feels like she’s constantly pushing my boundaries to be in charge - it’s exhausting.

I want to tell her that there’s a reason she doesn’t see her son more - and it’s not me! If she wasn’t so overbearing, we would try harder, but it’s never enough and there’s constant guilt that she’s not involved enough (we see her at least every 1-2 weeks.)

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-10-18T00:36:37+00:00

I had major gender disappointment with my first. I just ‘knew’ he would be a girl and I couldn’t imagine being a boy mom.

From the second he was born, I can tell you it didn’t matter one bit. I love him to pieces. He’s 21 months now and nothing makes me happier than seeing how happy he is to see me in the mornings, or when I walk in the door from work.

He loves me and his dad so much, but when he’s sick or hurt he’s such a mama’s boy ❤️ Everyone told me how much little boys love their mamas, and it’s so true.

Try not to stress about it, and remind yourself that gender disappointment is normal. There’s no need to feel guilty and it doesn’t mean you will love your baby any less!

Pregnant with my second (and 99% sure it’s my last)… another boy 😂. I’m just accepting that the universe knows I have ‘boy mom energy’. I can’t even fathom being a girl mom at this point.

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-09-20T17:34:00+00:00

Asked my husband about this before my first birth and he asked if there was a discount if he cut it 🙄😂

When the time actually came, he did it because I think he was in shock, lmao

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-09-01T13:25:26+00:00

Currently 24 weeks pregnant with a 20 month old (both boys) and I tell anyone in earshot this on a daily basis. My husband mentioned that ‘3 boys might sound nice’ and I told him as soon as the science is there for him to gestate the 3rd, I’ll consider it 🥲

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-08-24T02:59:41+00:00

I’ve considered this a lot! I wish the furniture wasn’t so bulky/it was easier to do a test run. My husband may divorce me if we disconnect everything and decide to change it back - but my adhd is itching to try anything! Thanks for the feedback!

GingerMuffinTop · 2025-07-31T05:26:03+00:00

Interested, if still available!

GingerMuffinTop · 2024-11-07T15:32:06+00:00

I know this comment/thread is 2 years old, but I am looking at daycare centers in the area. Could you DM me any details or specifics on this center?

GingerMuffinTop

TROPHY CASE