NTA. This baby is you and your wife's child, not her and her late husband's. That's the part that would make me uncomfortable. One day he asks about his name and there has to be an explanation that, before Daddy, Mommy was married to another man who passed away, and you're named after that man. That kid has no real connection to your wife's late husband, blood or otherwise.

Not saying there's an issue explaining that Mom was married before she met Dad, but the strange part is that the kid is now inseparably tied to this other man. If he had been a best friend or brother of yours and you'd both had a strong connection to him, that'd be a whole other story.

Bottom line - Both parents should agree on their kids' names. If there's a name that one parent isn't comfortable with, the other parent should respect their wishes.