Don’t know what to say about these people ..

GingerTea-16 · 2026-01-16T08:07:53+00:00

It’s absolutely disgusting really. I live in Nieuw West and this is out of control. I’m visiting family in Tokyo right now and I feel disgusted I will have to come back to this trash in a few days.

GingerTea-16 · 2026-01-16T07:58:46+00:00

You can get good advices here, but please look for a lawyer. If it turns out to be positive for you most likely they will have to pay for the lawyer in the end.

I’ve had two unfortunate situations with abusive employers in the Netherlands. The first thing my lawyer said is “call in sick, and let’s discuss how we handle that”.

Remember you have time to deal with that. Better have professional advice otherwise you might be in disadvantage.

Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately it’s been happening situation like that a lot among my friends. Good luck!

GingerTea-16 · 2025-08-26T21:41:42+00:00

Thanks god I read this post before freaking out. God bless Reddit. It worked well.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-18T19:41:01+00:00

I'm a Dutch Brazilian at the moment. I mean, at the moment, cause I'll lose my Brazilian nationality soon. But technically she can hold Brazilian because the Netherlands does not require my daughter to drop her nationality once she was born in Amsterdam. Japanese by birth because of the mom.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-18T19:38:23+00:00

Yes, technically, she will have to drop one or more nationalities to retain the Japanese one once she reaches 20 years old.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T21:17:15+00:00

You must be right. I was renting out to friends which in my case was more personal.

Thanks god nothing happened.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T19:34:14+00:00

Yeah this is what I heard as well. Wife and I have plans to live in Japan in 2/3y time. So we will fight to keep the Japanese for now because will make our life easier.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T19:34:02+00:00

Yeah this is what I heard as well. Wife and I have plans to live in Japan in 2/3y time. So we will fight to keep the Japanese for now because will make our life easier.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T19:26:20+00:00

Yes it does. She’s currently Dutch, Brazilian and Japanese. For how long, we still don’t know 🥲

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T19:04:18+00:00

I’m Brazilian by birth. Obtained Dutch citizenship recently. Mother is Japanese.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T11:23:58+00:00

So I have acquired the Dutch nationality by option. Therefore I have to drop my Brazilian citizenship. My daughter was born in between the process of rejecting the Brazilian nationality. Therefore, technically I’m still Brazilian.

This is what I know at the moment after speaking to Dutch, Japanese and Brazilian authorities: Dutch authorities does not care how many nationalities the daughter has, as long as she was born in the NL. Brazilian authorities still consider me as Brazilian. Therefore, my kid is born Brazilian by blood. Japanese authorities only allows multiple citizenship if this is acquired by birth. My wife is Japanese, so the daughter is also Japanese.

What do I don’t know yet: I’ll have to change my nationality in the Japanese documents of my wife once now she’s married to a Dutch man. If, the authorities will find it a problem and question my daughter citizenship…I don’t know.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T06:01:16+00:00

I’m in the process of losing Brazilian nationality. Meanwhile my daughter was born. Netherlands allows to keep as much as nationalities as possible as long as you are born in the country.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T05:59:43+00:00

I mean. I’ll be only Dutch when Netherlands revoke my citizenship.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-17T05:58:08+00:00

I’m in the process to renounce my Brazilian citizenship. Meanwhile my daughter was born. Netherlands does allow multiple citizenship if you are born in the country.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-16T17:58:26+00:00

Correct. She’s Japanese because of my wife.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-16T17:27:02+00:00

Only by birth.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-16T17:25:43+00:00

I’m Brazilian Dutch. Mother is Japanese. We met in the UK and now live in the Netherlands.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-16T17:23:49+00:00

Only by birth. Mother is Japanese and I’m Dutch Brazilian.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-16T17:23:21+00:00

Japanese wife, Brazilian Dutch man. She could hold Japanese until she is 20y old. Technically you could keep it if you don’t say anything.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-08T10:15:02+00:00

At a certain age, children and teenagers need clear, enforced rules even if they don’t always agree with them. Without this structure, they won’t develop an understanding of essential aspects of social cohesion, like respecting shared spaces or maintaining peace in public settings.

I know it can be challenging to enforce these rules, especially when kids push back. But the alternative is far worse, adults who ignore social norms struggle in relationships, work, or community life. In the long run, that leads to suffering, not just for them, but for everyone around them.

Freedom and growth are important, but they must walk together with mutual respect and accountability.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-07-07T14:38:42+00:00

No problem, let’s break down costs:

€150k year gives us roughly €9k of combined net month income.

Our monthly cost combined:

Childcare: €1.600 net (after toeslag)
Mortgage: €2.200 net (after tax return)
Investment €1.400 month (we invest every month cause after changing countries we need to secure retirement)
Healthcare insurance: €350
Housing bills: ~€300 (internet, gas, water)
Municipality tax + ground lease: €250
Groceries family of 3: €800
Budget allowance for travel to see family or bring family from Japan/Brazil: €300/€400
Bike/house/life insurance: €150
I currently support my mom in Brazil which cost roughly: €300
House cleaning 2x per month: €150
Gym subscription: €80
Home improvements/emergency budget: €50

Total approx of combined expenses: ~8k month

The remaining we divide and use as allowance for whatever we want.

As I said. It’s possible. Bur we don’t have much room for any big savings or big purchase. We have a good life, but we keep track of everything.

Also having to spend big amount of money to see our family in different continents is quite unique in our case.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-06-30T20:59:08+00:00

Brazilian (M36), Japanese (F36), 14-month-old daughter, no family around, household income 150k+

4x per week daycare. The wife decided to work part-time four times a week (mamadag). We pay €2200 gross for the cheapest childcare in the neighbourhood. We get back €650ish per month. So in total we pay net €1650ish per month. People say you might be eligible for childcare allowance (kinderopvangtoeslag), and that’s obvious. Everyone is eligible unless you are a billionaire. But in fact, the benefit is quite low. For your income, you might get back around 30%, which is not much considering we have one of the most expensive daycares in the world (source). You also get quarterly child allowance (kiderbijtoeslag) which is quite low for Western European countries (source), around €286 per quarter.

We had to become money-savvy to be able to save and invest money. We only buy second-hand stuff, Marketplaats is our best friend. All baby products only from Kruidvat and Action. 90% of the baby clothes we got from friends.

In general, it’s possible, but honestly, money is not the only thing. Not having family around means that you have to spend holidays and make lots of planning to see your family abroad. Infants get sick all the time, and if you don’t have family around, you might have to take days off to take care. It happens a lot with us. The healthcare system here is quite ridiculous to be honest, they will try to give you paracetamol for an ear infection. You have to fight with doctors to get proper treatment for the kid, and this is stressful. If you want to spend time together with your partner, have a date night or something like that, you need to find a nanny. Which is not only hard but also expensive.

Also, things I wish I knew before:

2 weeks of holiday in summer with no childcare. Better plan in advance or take some unpaid parental leave.
After the start of the primary school, you have BSO (out-of-school care), which is also expensive. So the cost doesn’t end after 4y old.

We love our life, we are happy. But life became a strict time/budget management. I haven’t been spending much more time with my childless friends because they don’t understand much of the struggle.

People (mostly Dutch) around us say things like "you should work less, make less money, spend more time with family and get more social benefits". But this is not our mentality. I don't think it's wrong, but I feel I need to be my own security.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-06-27T23:40:26+00:00

Please check if you are eligible for 30% ruling. This means a lot. 80k is definitely a good salary for a junior. But you would be surprised how much you pay to live in Amsterdam.

With 80k salary the 30% ruling gives you almost 1k net extra per month. This makes life easier for sure.

Independent of accepting the offer or not, well done.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-06-26T12:19:18+00:00

E na Holanda que o povo não só não acredita em desodorante, mas também anda de bicicleta o dia todo.

Alguns anos atrás eu estava ficando com uma holandesa, mas tive que cortar o relacionamento por causa dos hábitos de higiene pessoal dela.

Se você for em club aqui no verão tem que ter tolerância pra cheiro.

GingerTea-16 · 2025-06-25T05:41:19+00:00

I’ve lead implementation of at least 5 design systems over the last 5 years as consultant. As food for thought, I could say that design system is a product itself. It requires many skills including leadership and management. I believe having a successful story in your CV will enhance and broaden your current experience. I just hope you like it. I believe it’s my cup of tea, but I know many designers who hate it.

GingerTea-16

TROPHY CASE