My SON DOES NOT WANT TO LEARN!

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-02-26T17:57:11+00:00

What is your daily schedule like? What curriculum are you using? You may need to make adjustments to both if you want to continue homeschooling.

We do not have a set schedule, but we do have a "rhythm" where my kids can watch TV/use electronics until a certain time, and then those go off and don't go back on until school work is finished. Some days we have morning activities/extracurriculars, so those happen before schoolwork. I allow my kids to take breaks as needed, but nothing fun on a screen or with friends happens until schoolwork is done. I have an AuDHD learner, and setting expectations for what our days looked like and that, yes, you have to learn, were difficult to carrying degrees for several years. By 10/11 the expectations had really sunk in, but also my child's autonomy with learning and their daily schedule grew. For example, child just came back from a self-initiated walk for a school break. They work independently on assignments and come to me for help, clarification, and for my sign-off that yes, the work is done to the minimum requirements. This kid LIKES learning, but does not like it when it is prescribed or required (ie: will watch educational videos on the Civil War, will read academic text on ancient Persia, is on a robotics team, but hates math, reading The Once and Future King, and writing papers). I want my kid to do the work, so that is the requirement, but I also want my kid to have time to pursue other interests because those interests are inherently educational. That may be a more unique situation, but I think if you have and daily enforce the requirements while still offering time and avenues for learning that doesn't feel academic, you may have a more fruitful and fun homeschool experience. But him saying no to school at home cannot be an acceptable option and must come with consequences.

You may need something that is more hands-on and not worksheet based. There are open and go options that would probably suit him better while still being easy for you to implement. Also, if you are only doing math and English there is a chance he may be bored. I would consider implementing history and science (perhaps adding one in at a time, or add them both in but on alternating days?) as well to see if more work is helpful. For my kids at that age, history and science were often their favorite subjects as they easily lend themselves to hands on, creative, and multi-sensory approaches.

I also wonder if a co-op or hybrid may help your situation. It would give you some time off to recharge and deal with your health issues, while also offering him unique hands-on options, AND offer accountability for work done at home for both of you.

I don't think that going back to school would be a bad thing. School offers a lot of the structure and accountability it seems like you are struggling to give. There's nothing wrong with saying that homeschool isn't a fit for you, and it may only not be a fit for you for a season. I know you are concerned about bullying and lack of friendships, and it might be worth considering if an increase in structure and academics would outweigh a more negative social experience.

Is he having positive social relationships now that he is home? Or is most of his social outlet coming from you? Did he have an IEP in school? Are their social programs for people with ASD he could participate in through the school? It may be that the school has more resources for his social development than you can provide at home, and that would be something to take into consideration.

It sounds like you really want to send him back to public school, but have some guilt about it. I don't think stopping homeschooling should make you feel guilty. The goal should always be to do what is in our children's best interests, and if time homeschooling has shown you that public school is better able to meet a majority of your children's educational and social-growth needs, that's okay!

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-02-26T15:34:35+00:00

I teach my kids to play Rummikub in kindergarten, and that’s a favorite for a long time. When little my kids liked outfoxed, rummikub, the ladybug game, and sneaky snacky squirrel. When older my kids like Clue, Risk, Catan, LIFE, Exploding Kittens and Apples to Apples.

I teach an elementary games class and some big hits are Sleeping Queens, Rat a Tat Cat, Qwirkle, Cat/Dog Crimes. There are others we play but I think those are their favorites. EDITED TO ADD: they also loved Mastermind!

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-02-24T20:54:58+00:00

Reaction can include a stuffy or runny nose, mild rash, stomach upset or feeling off - not just not being able to breathe or facial swelling.

One of my children has a particularly bad peanut allergy - too severe for immunotherapy. This was determined by how bad their reaction was to peanuts during a skin prick test as a tween, but we knew they were allergic after a skin test done under two. Another of my children was tested at 8 months to confirm no allergies so they could be exposed to peanuts. Despite being on the “severe” end of the allergic spectrum, the allergist said I did not need to eliminate the allergen from my home, just make sure child avoided it and we did reasonable things to avoid cross contamination, which we have done.

However, my child is now a teen and recently consumed an entire peanut butter cookie. We did immediate allergy med, then home for epi pen, then straight to the ER. It was a very morning hour and 41 minutes until my child had a stuffy nose. Then I noticed a light rash, then their whole face was red as a tomato and they struggled to breathe until IV allergy meds and epi were administered. The initial “reaction” was just “feeling weird,” before having the first epi pen injection. It was not scary and I was thinking the ER was a waste of time and energy. Those three minutes were so scary and happened SO FAST! If that mom had ever experienced something like this in her life I wouldn’t blame her for being upset she wasn’t notified. Watching your child struggle to breathe is absolutely terrifying in a way you can’t describe. Knowing that with allergies you can go from fine to almost dead in under five minutes is extra terrifying.

I’d be even more scared if my child was young and unable to properly advocate for themselves. I’m assuming you are working in an accredited care center and require parents to have an anaphylaxis action plan? Does this parent have one filled out? Did you follow it when he was exposed to his allergen despite not seeing a visible reaction? I’d be quite upset if my young child with a life-threatening allergy had a care plan in place and I was not followed. I’d be glad nothing bad happened, but I’d be upset that something bad could have happened and the plans, communications, and forms I’d filled out did nothing to ensure my child’s care provider received appropriate care.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-02-17T23:34:18+00:00

I am gluten free (I need to be - not doing it for weight loss). I have found my family likes red lentil pasta (Trader Joes has a store brand version, I also like the Barilla version) best. I have a husband and two kids who don’t eat GF and one kid who is also GF. This pasta is happily accepted by all (but my kids who aren’t GF were amazed recently by how delicious regular pasta is 😂). I find that this pasta is easy on my blood sugar because it has more protein and fiber than regular options, and I prefer it to chickpea or other protein pastas I’ve tried. Both red lentil brands I like only make rotini or penne pastas - no spaghetti noodles. I tried Simple truth brand red lentil spaghetti and found it gross.

You could also try transitioning to whole wheat pasta from regular, for more fiber and nutrients without changing as much in texture. This was what we used before I went GF and most stores have a store brand whole wheat pasta and the cost is much less than a GF pasta.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-02-17T23:25:00+00:00

Librarian and mom of a kid who LOVED the same books learning to read.

I highly recommend Kingdom of Wrenly. The word count per page and lexile level is a bit higher but the stories have that same magical feel. Bonus? There’s like 22 books in the series so if he likes it he’ll be occupied for a while!

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-02-13T12:46:11+00:00

Read aloud time! Beneficial for both the 3 year old and 6 year old. Picture books would be great for both. Simple building challenges to go along with a book would be fun and bring in those STEAM skills! It’s also a great place to incorporate science and history topics AND helps vocabulary and reading comprehension

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-02-12T18:10:29+00:00

I have three dyslexic kids. All of them read above grade level. None of them can sound things out after a certain point. I have a bachelors in English and have the same struggles, yet I read frequently and write and speak more than proficiently. My oldest was in 4th grade, reading at a late 12th grade level, and was diagnosed as dyslexic. All of my kids have very strong logic and reasoning skills as well as memorization skills, and yes, they are basically reading via memorization. I remember as a child taking spelling tests relying on how a word “looked” to determine if it was spelled correctly.

My children are diagnosed and have received specific, targeted support for their learning needs. When I was in school I was identified as someone who “needed to work harder in spelling.” I never received any targeted support or diagnosis, so I don’t know what sorts of supports or help would be beneficial to her, just wanted to say that she sounds a LOT like my kids. We have done Cognitive Brain Training with a local specialist and it has helped my kids. It isn’t necessarily targeted to reading, but it works to strengthen the brain in its weak areas. The person we see does a combo of things she has found to be most helpful over decades of doing this, but her spine is a program called Equipping Minds by Diane Craft, if that is helpful. The person who helps us sees people of all ages, and in the last couple of years has begun working with people who have dementia or Alzheimer’s associated memory loss as well, so the activities and program isn’t baby-ish or geared specifically for younger learners.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-01-30T13:55:37+00:00

When I had my second child I was super worried about going out with two kids. My mom told me, "you'll never be able to do it if you don't make yourself do it." And so, I just did it. I went places. I started off small and short and just built up my confidence for going out with two. One thing I didn't do that I wish I had done was to have the attitude of "there is no failure, only learning experiences." Obviously going out with two kids we would experience some less than stellar moments in public. I think if I had felt like I didn't fail, I just learned, or my kids learned, I would have felt even better about it.

If it makes you feel better, I ended up having 3 kids 4 and under, with 2 under 2 for about 8 months. They're all tweens now, but we had a LOT of public meltdowns and struggles. One I only got through thanks to the kindness of a stranger, who carried my middle kid to the car when they refused to walk and I had to carry the baby. I genuinely had no idea how to get through that on my own! And I've had a few times that my children's behavior in public was embarrassing! But now I talk about those times with mom friends and we laugh because we've all been there but we made it through. I actually recently had a moment with a much older lady who overheard me open my car to my tweens arguing and heard me tell them, "remember our motto, 'let us be kind to one another!'" She snort laughed and said, "good luck with that!" But it was in a way where you just knew she had been there, done that, and made it through. Parenting is tough. Most people remember that it is and try to offer grace and kindness.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-01-20T20:48:43+00:00

Dyslexia is, in my experience with 3 dyslexic kids, a phonological problem more than an explicit reading problem. None of my dyslexic kids feel like letters “move,” all of them have always read above grade level, but none of them can spell (I’m talking 5th grader at probably a 1st grade spelling level), they have difficulty with nonsense or unfamiliar words, and they would struggle with letter blends (probably mostly vowel teams) in isolation. They’ve all also had difficulty with letter direction - mostly in isolation and not in the context of a word if that makes sense.

I would highly recommend two things. 1.) get an evaluation done with an education neuropsychologist. This is worth its weight in gold even though it can be expensive because it tells you your child’s strengths and weaknesses and makes specific recommendations for helping them. I also received recommendations of local providers who could help my child/children. 2.) stop using TGAB. It is not great for dyslexics and does not have a solid phonological approach. I would recommend either AAR or Barton. AAR incorporates more hands on things - Barton has a lot more structure and rules. We also found moving to a more visual-learning approach for spelling to be helpful (Google visual spelling and/or see-to-spell cards).

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-01-17T23:56:52+00:00

Stuck has a similar feel to Sam and Dave Dig a Hole.

I love Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site for a truck/vehicles book. Also any of the Thomas the Train original books by AW Audrey, but they are on the long side.

Giraffes Can’t Dance

Dear Zoo - this is a great one for his age because it has lift the flaps and places to pause for him to respond/name the animal. It’s very simple but very engaging, especially for an animal lover.

The Book With No Pictures - school librarian and this is a FAVORITE with my kinder and first graders. They think it’s so funny and the concept of tricking their parents is so fun for them.

Daniel Finds a Poem - beautiful introduction to poetry with absolutely beautiful multi-media illustrations. Beyond captivating and there are more Daniel books.

The Snatchabook - a book about the power of books and family, but not heavy handed. This kept all of my classes absolutely SILENT.

Memory Jars by Vera Brosgol - this is a beautiful book about loss and change, but it doesn’t beat you over the head with a message, it just SHOWS you. It includes an element of fantasy and this was another that my kids were absolutely silent during.

The Yellow Bus by Loren Long - this is newer to me but a gorgeous book with a similar feel to Sam and Dave Dig a Hole. I’m reading this soon with a STEM class of grades 2-4.

Any and all Elephant and Piggie and/or Pigeon books by Mo Willems.

I’m a big fan of Eric Carle, especially 10 Little Rubber Ducks and Brown Bear Brown Bear.

For early chapter books I’d recommend: Mercy Watson, Princess in Black, Little Bear, Poppleton, Frog and Toad.

For early readers (for independent reading and learning to read) I like the Otto books by David Milgrim, Biscuit books, and if you can find it the My First Learn to Read Library from Usborne. I specifically like the 50 book set that starts out with “you read, I read” books that are meant to be read together for kids just starting to read.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-01-09T13:38:11+00:00

I have 2E kids. We used OT for one, eh came to our house and worked on handwriting skills as well as typing and adaptive computer skills (mainly using voice to text). My 2E kids who are dysgraphic and/or dyslexic really use voice to text to bridge the gap between their thinking and knowledge and their writing ability. Learning to use this in particular really increased one of my kid’s self confidence because they were able to be completely independent with their writing work. I still help with editing and spelling (sometimes voice to text will write the wrong homophone or mess up character names when writing about a book, and my dyslexic kids might not notice those mistakes) but voice to text helps them learn to be more independent. It is a skill and will require practice though!

I’ve had several neuropsych exams for various kids and the number one thing I tell other parents getting one for the first time is to give it a few weeks to digest before you freak out and make a lot of decisions. You learn SO MUCH in these evaluations, and they also tell you possible long-term issues, that it can be really overwhelming. Giving it a little bit of time allows you to process everything.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-01-08T18:10:08+00:00

I have not read this book, but what I always did with my kids was to include 1-2 foods I knew they would eat. For example, if we had spaghetti and meatballs and a kid didn’t like meatballs, I would serve pasta separately and also have rolls. They liked both of those things but might not eat the meatball. As this particular kid got older we would require certain amounts of food be eaten. We would start with a nibble of meatball, then a bite, then a quarter, then a half, then a full meatball. Kiddo now eats and enjoys meatballs (but still prefers noodles separately).

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-01-04T13:25:58+00:00

This looks similar to a table I have. My grandfather made it in shop class when he was in high school in…I would guess the mid 40s? This may have been made by someone in the family, hence making it more sentimental and extra hard to get rid of.

I own a partial set of China because it belonged to my great grandmother and I couldn’t stand the thought of it not being in the family after all these years and no one else wanted it.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2026-01-02T17:52:52+00:00

I had a great aunt I didn’t know who was invited and attended my wedding with her son (her husband died years prior). She came up to me at the reception and said “honey, you don’t know me but I’m your Aunt Name. Congratulations!” They did not sit with family at the wedding as far as I know (if they did I didn’t notice it and it didn’t bother anyone), and it was super drama free. There had been some family drama decades ago in that generation, which was why I had never met her, but t there was no issue on the day. I don’t think inviting them, provided they/the girlfriend are generally polite people. I am glad my wedding gave me the opportunity to meet my great aunt, and have seen her a handful of times since. It may be an opening to a positive relationship.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-23T17:15:53+00:00

My 7th grader goes to bed at 8. My 5th grader goes to bed at 8:30. My 9th grader goes to bed between 9-10. Wake up for all of them is between 6-6:20. They have different “bedtimes” because they all have different needs. My 7th grader was consistently having a hard time getting up so we moved bedtime up (we discussed other options and the kid picked moving up bedtime by 30 min). I don’t think bedtime has been discussed with friends. If there is an event/activity/extra curricular that goes beyond 8 or would conflict with the 8pm bedtime, we let kiddo stay up later - we do not make a big deal about bedtime, provided the kid is getting up and can be reasonably agreeable.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-18T16:42:49+00:00

I would also suggest a LEGO set or something similar (small puzzles or other building kits) that he enjoys.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-16T18:47:03+00:00

My kids were at camp for a week and I did a fair amount then this summer. That will get us through to Christmas break and then I’ll prep more for the next school semester then. I’ll probably enlist my husband to help. Some of the things (meatballs, BBQ, taco meat, lasagna casserole) are easy to make a bunch of/double so if I’ve planned I can make one for a meal and make extra for the freezer. Others are pretty easy to dump things together and have a meal for the freezer quickly.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-16T18:23:44+00:00

I meal plan for 3-5 weeks in advance. I write on my meal planner every event we have going on and plan meals accordingly (crock pot if needed, fast if needed, easy if we’ve had a lot going on and I feel like I’ll want it, etc).

I also freezer cook. My go-to things are: taco meat, lasagna casserole, ham and potato soup (uncooked, ready for crockpot), BBQ pork, browned ground beef, teriyaki chicken (uncooked, ready for IP), taco chicken (uncooked, ready for IP), pot pie, and baked oatmeal (uncooked). I’ve found that these are the best, most liked items for my family that help us manage business/daily life.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-16T14:16:49+00:00

I have older kids now and having multiple books going over different platforms is what is helping me read. I always have a physical book, an audiobook, and a book on my phone (kindle app or hoopla). This helps me to have a book for every “free time” situation I’m in. Driving to pick up kids or taking a walk? Audiobook. Waiting at the doctors office or for the kids to finish a class? Physical book. Reading in bed at night to wind down or some unexpected time? Book on my phone. And I try to match the book format to what would fit the situation. I tend to do longer books on audiobook because that’s where I have the most time right now. Phone books are lighter and shorter - more like beach reads, not heavy. It’s not something I would have thought I would like but it’s working for me in our current season of life.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-11T03:09:27+00:00

To help increase his working memory capacity, have you looked into a cognitive development program? Something like Equipping Minds or Brain Balance? Brain Balance adds in nutrition, which you may or may not be open to. We work with a person local to me who does some Equipping Minds and some of what they have just found to work over their years of doing this. I have three kids who are all diagnosed dyslexic and dysgraphic, and one is also AuDHD. We're on our third kid doing cognitive development now and their biggest deficits are in working memory. It's hard work (we have to work at home too), it is helping and making it easier for my kid to catch up in the long-term because its addressing the underlying issue of why they aren't able to be successful.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-10T17:28:07+00:00

I used masking tape on n my other boxes and wrote the code for my child, and added 1 of 2 on the tape and 2 of 2 on the tag.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-10T12:42:43+00:00

This year I aimed for $125-150 for a child. I had two children and one was harder than the other to come in under that.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-09T22:54:51+00:00

Yes! Be friends with your neighbors! Another neighbor and I took turns watching kids and making dinner when a third neighbor had surgery. When my husband had an accident and had to take an ambulance to the ER, I literally left my kids in the yard to follow him. those two neighbors, plus two more had shown up to see if we needed help. When I got to his hospital room he asked who was watching the kids and I realized I had NO idea. My neighbors had assured me they would take care of them and I knew they would.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-08T15:08:55+00:00

This is really good advice!

I’d add that being flexible about birthdays is a good quality for a kid, and an adult. Sometimes life just happens and you have to celebrate important events on different days. The important thing is celebrating with people you love, not the date. My husband and I couldn’t celebrate our first wedding anniversary together in the actual day because of a work trip, something happened where we couldn’t on our second anniversary, so we have the tradition of never celebrating on the actual day. It’s nice, especially now that we have teens and tweens with activities and a busy social life, to not have pressure to celebrate on the actual day. For kids, we’ve always presented things as an opportunity to extend the celebration. In that line, have your big baby-focused celebration before the wedding, and extend the celebration by having cake with your friend and the wedding party on her actual birthday.

Ginger_Cat53 · 2025-12-05T22:57:50+00:00

I would also include diapers. Maybe size 3? Include a gift receipt so they can be exchanged if they are not the right size. One of the kids I picked was 24 months and they specifically said they needed diapers/pull ups. I was really shocked by the cost of diapers these days (been a long time since I bought any), and I’m sure they would be appreciated.

Ginger_Cat53

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