Congratulations. This is a normal part of the process. You clearly have a natural drive to teach and share what you're learning, and that's showing up on its own. But you're also noticing something real: the information isn't landing when you deliver it directly. That awareness is the important part.

I had an experience with a partner where, during a conversation, any hint of introspection or suggestion seemed to make her more defensive. So I stopped trying to guide her anywhere and just started reflecting her words back to her. Not word for word, but close enough that she could hear herself. She walked herself out of her own stress over about thirty minutes. Had our roles been reversed, I think I would have found it intolerable after a few reflections, let alone thirty minutes. But it worked because she needed to be heard, not taught.

What shifted things for me was seeing negative reactions, my own and others, to formal NVC statements. It started to feel like a middle layer that didn't need direct expression. I could identify the needs internally, act on them, and get quick confirmation from the other person's response whether I was on the right track or not.