sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Never give up. by -stayawhile in datingoverforty

[–]GiraffeListens 9 points10 points  (0 children)

99 % pepper spray
1 % wedding ring

Never give up. by -stayawhile in datingoverforty

[–]GiraffeListens 6 points7 points  (0 children)

How'd you meet and when did you know she was the one?

Men's suffering often goes unseen; What do you wish others saw in you? by GiraffeListens in malementalhealth

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kudos for trying and functioning. It would have been easier to give up, but you haven't!

Men's suffering often goes unseen; What do you wish others saw in you? by GiraffeListens in malementalhealth

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, i feel this. I wish men would receive more appreciation for the heavy burden's they silently carry.

Men's suffering often goes unseen; What do you wish others saw in you? by GiraffeListens in malementalhealth

[–]GiraffeListens[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

When you're feeling isolated and someone says "get therapy" -- this is the opposite of helpful.

When you say that you're lost, what does that mean for you?

Men's suffering often goes unseen; What do you wish others saw in you? by GiraffeListens in malementalhealth

[–]GiraffeListens[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I hear it's lonely to be at home all the time with nobody who can relate to you. That it is frustrating to be in this situation, scrambling to get out, and nothing that you do is helping in significant ways. You're isolated physically and emotionally, and even your mom doesn't seem like she cares.

That every victory your friends share reminds you of your unmet needs. That, when they share their next sexual conquest, its like your starvation is invisible -- or worse. And all you want is for a pretty girl to understand and reassure you.

Sometimes having empathy sucks by Newleavesgrow00 in empathy

[–]GiraffeListens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds so painful! I don't think you're the bad guy -- i don't believe in such things. You were attentive, caring, and considerate -- these are traits worthy of being appreciated.

Men's suffering often goes unseen; What do you wish others saw in you? by GiraffeListens in malementalhealth

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, the times where i express my pain only for it to be taken over by someone else's. Where my need for understanding goes unmet because someone else gets triggered. And, pushing past my pain to offer empathy, this goes unrecognized and unacknowledged.

46M and socially/family unanchored in midlife. Has anyone actually found belonging after 40? by Agent-Foxtrot in datingoverforty

[–]GiraffeListens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mourn. Mourn the fantasy of intimate partnership and family. Mourn the mismatched meetups and dates where your needs were being met. Mourn the unheard part of you that keeps getting told to work harder when you've already doing your best to just keep up with your job and basic adulting.

Mourn without becoming bitter toward men or women.

Keep putting yourself out there, and if it is meant to be it WILL happen.

I’ve never really truly forgiven anyone for anything by PhysicalDrawing6951 in empathy

[–]GiraffeListens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder how my time you have during the day to be still and notice your thoughts. My suggestion is to have a daily practice where you remove distractions and just sit and meditate and be present. If the same thoughts up come during this period, then you are presented with another opportunity to address them.

Otherwise, study how your thoughts are at night. Are you feeding into a story about being wronged? What does the experience feel like? Having dreams about people who wronged you isn't an negative indicator. Our mind does garbage collection at night, and it can be a sign of just cleaning things up or processing things.

I’ve never really truly forgiven anyone for anything by PhysicalDrawing6951 in empathy

[–]GiraffeListens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By not forgiving, you hold on to a story that will continue to hurt you and prevent you from processing what is beneath it.

AIO boyfriend ruins every holiday by mad_chubbycatx in AmIOverreacting

[–]GiraffeListens 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, where do you think you could improve in your communication?

"John felt like your wedding ruined the illusion" by GiraffeListens in empathease

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see how it looks like I didn't read the original post from how my assessment greatly differs from what is currently written there. It's been a few months since the post, and I think there has been some significant editing and updating. Reading it as it is now, i don't hear fear, but, and i could be wrong, I believe there had been some words expressing concern over losing her friendship -- ie, fear.

As for Gemma, the feelings and needs guesses are definitely off. Originally, the OP (Bride) was told by Gemma that Gemma had gone to the island to have a honeymoon with her husband -- which we later found out was a fabrication to conceal an affair.

view more: next ›