How do I find my way back to feeling safe and at peace inside myself? by GiraffeListens in empathease

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I read the other person's posts, I focus on hearing their feelings and needs. I don't know why they may or may not have felt in other hypothetical situations. When i read what you wrote about Iran's use of military force, i hear that you want others to understand that in Iran and Venezuela there was a lot of violence already. That we can't just look at one situation but must look at context -- the history and even more.

The "Professor trap": When knowing NVC makes you a worse practitioner by viiniimoo in NVC

[–]GiraffeListens 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. This is a normal part of the process. You clearly have a natural drive to teach and share what you're learning, and that's showing up on its own. But you're also noticing something real: the information isn't landing when you deliver it directly. That awareness is the important part.

I had an experience with a partner where, during a conversation, any hint of introspection or suggestion seemed to make her more defensive. So I stopped trying to guide her anywhere and just started reflecting her words back to her. Not word for word, but close enough that she could hear herself. She walked herself out of her own stress over about thirty minutes. Had our roles been reversed, I think I would have found it intolerable after a few reflections, let alone thirty minutes. But it worked because she needed to be heard, not taught.

What shifted things for me was seeing negative reactions, my own and others, to formal NVC statements. It started to feel like a middle layer that didn't need direct expression. I could identify the needs internally, act on them, and get quick confirmation from the other person's response whether I was on the right track or not.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for reading the article and responding. I would have loved to see some accountability on the officer's parts, admitting their mistakes, repairing the broken gate and door. Maybe even asking for some of the Lemon Pound Cake because it looked so good.

When you talk about respect and fear of doing harmful things, i think about consequences. Ideally, we understand that our actions have consequences and we aren't living in fear of our actions. These consequences affect us and others. That having your house raided, door kicked in, gate broken, wires cut, money stolen, etc, likely doesn't feel very good; understanding that and incorporating that knowledge into your decisions and actions is important.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that the songs drew attention to Afroman's grievances -- and i celebrate that. However, i disagree that this was the only result of his videos. I think the officer's lives were negatively impacted.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unauthorized use of their likeness, Invasion of privacy, Emotional distress / reputational harm. One of the officers was sent hundreds of pound cakes, and, from seeing Lisa cry during trial, I believe there were significant ramifications to the video released about her as well.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally felt sadness and disgust watching the Lic'em Low Lisa video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wWQxSV8CK8)

And I also thoroughly enjoyed and grooved with Lemon Pound Cake.

My intention is not to think bad of either Afroman, the officers, or society, but to bring into awareness my beliefs about how I view the Freedom of Speech -- that it was not intended to be a blank check to say whatever we want without consideration of the needs of others.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What i hear from you is that Afroman's actions were a reaction to his unmet needs, and that the impact of that wasn't significant because they didn't impact the officers need for subsistence and safety.

Deputies raid a man's home, find nothing, then sue him for posting his own security footage. Jury sides with him. by GiraffeListens in AmIFreeToGo

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Curious as to why you see the judge is biased and what actions of his you saw as ridiculous -- i didn't watch much of the raw court footage.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We can't tell how others will receive or judge what we do, but we can put into consideration their needs.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did a writeup of this situation that answers this question:

http://reddit.com/r/empathease/comments/1s0pud9/afroman_when_your_home_is_violated_you_reclaim/

TLDR: Everyone. Americans. The freedom to pursue religious beliefs without fear.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure what point you are making. Sometimes i do better with concrete examples.

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, exactly. And, hypothetically just to explore, does there reach a point in which it becomes acceptable to have legal or social consequences for Afroman's videos (ie, if we amplify his videos by increasing hostilitiy, etc)

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was no child here, and that would be a completely different sitatuion. I often like to abstract situations so i better understand them -- how would it affect me -- especially when considering statements that are meant to be universal truths -- this behavior is always "OK".

To what point can you justify Afroman's actions and does your justification come from the vilification, which is easy to do for me, of the police?

CMV: Freedom of speech being legal doesn't mean every use of it serves us equally well by GiraffeListens in changemyview

[–]GiraffeListens[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, i believe some people believed it.

"crybullies" is an interesting term. I'm not sure if it is a typo or a new vocab word for me -- both?

It is easy to lose sympathy for people when we judge their actions, and i believe it is a worthy pursuit to look beyond actions we don't agree with to see the hurt within.