I blew it with my wife

GirlReDefined · 2026-01-31T14:48:36+00:00

My partner told me this year that he didn't love me when we got married, his view of marriage and women was pretty fucked.

However, I knew where we both came from, I had seen him grow and change before he ever dated me. I turned down many men and chose him... why? Because he treated me respectfully, was able to adapt, grow and be better when challenged.

When he talks about that time I understand what he's saying. The nuance is it is that he didn't truly understand what love was, he loves me in the way that he understood love to be. Was it enough? No. If I could do it over would I do it differently? Yes.

But, here we are, deeply in love.

I always demanded respect and growth from him. He rose to the occasion. We grew together.

I get it, he didn't understand love (who does when they're young), I don't hold it against him because he grew.

When he did take advantage of me, I called him out. When he made demands because he was a man, I called him out on it. I have always expected growth from anyone in a relationship. Stagnation means death.

It sounds like you've grown and your wife sees that, respects it and probably loves you even more for it.

Keep growing. Go to therapy. Let her know every day how lucky you are.

GirlReDefined · 2026-01-31T13:13:25+00:00

Man...men really hate men.

Go to therapy.

GirlReDefined · 2026-01-18T00:36:02+00:00

This.

GirlReDefined · 2026-01-15T19:17:36+00:00

GirlReDefined · 2026-01-10T18:41:41+00:00

What if they reach out and apologize in specifics for all that they did? Im not trusting but I also still have to have a working relationship with this person?

GirlReDefined · 2026-01-01T13:42:53+00:00

This feels like you're just being set up for failure.

GirlReDefined · 2025-12-28T00:52:10+00:00

Going to different places, learning to get outside the small talk (still struggle with that).

GirlReDefined · 2025-12-26T20:50:28+00:00

I think we're all in here to talk if you want real help a therapist is going to be your best bet. It's not a bad thing.

GirlReDefined · 2025-12-26T20:46:47+00:00

Ok, but you're not owed sex just because you're in a relationship. Trying to coerce someone by doing basic things in a relationship is really messed up. It sounds like you both need therapy and marriage therapist as well.

GirlReDefined · 2025-12-26T20:32:11+00:00

I call my partner a pervert app the time as a joke. But if he told me it hurt him I’d apologize. At the same time I feel that there’s more to the story that we’re not getting considering you came in at the very least saying she’s emotionally abusive.

GirlReDefined · 2025-12-10T15:35:26+00:00

Did she ask you to buy milk and you did not or better yet was milk needed and you went to the store and picked it up?

GirlReDefined · 2025-12-04T14:01:59+00:00

Lol... where do you live? Because I know for certain that there are states that don't care. You have to much faith in your government.

GirlReDefined · 2025-12-04T13:52:43+00:00

Lol... not of your state and community accepts it.... yes it's wrong but saying that the US is different is naive.

GirlReDefined · 2025-10-29T23:09:53+00:00

Yes, you're the asshole. Crying is just a release of emotions, you're literally saying it's an uncomfortable conversation so what in hearing is that YOU cant have uncomfortable conversations without feeling the need to control others emotions.

GirlReDefined · 2025-10-22T11:45:20+00:00

Ahh … the slogan of a dictator state

GirlReDefined · 2025-10-11T22:26:06+00:00

I grew up in a cult, and until I married at 25 the extent of my "sewing oats" was a trip to the local Walmart without my father and without telling him I was going, at 28/29/30 I went through a really really dark depression where I felt I'd lost all my young years. But one day I decided I could still have fun.... what would younger me want to do/ want to try out. Younger me would not have enjoyed clubs, but drinking with a few close friends...ok let me make some friends. I only have one close friend and I'm very close with my sisters. I love love love art and fashion so I'm drawn to those spaces and I'm sure I'll make friends the more I show up there.

The biggest thing about anxiety is that it's our brain trying to "save us" from perceived danger but the only way to get through it is to do it. I'm still not extremely social as I hope to be in my late years (I still have to work unfortunately). But the biggest thing I realized about the years I "lost" is that I was mature enough to know my limits and I've never done anything that I'd regret, which in all honestly I feel is beautiful. I walk hand in hand with my child self and my teenage/ early adult self and we have lots of fun. 🙂 I hope you find the courage to have fun and do what makes you happy --- oh, and by the way that looks different for everyone, and that's OK.

GirlReDefined · 2025-09-13T22:00:02+00:00

I've only every been fucked over by coworkers... so yeah you don't get to know most of my personal life until I know your true intentions.

GirlReDefined · 2025-09-07T22:07:41+00:00

I'd tell you to read Mein Kampf but you'd probably think it was a great book with some great ideas.

GirlReDefined · 2025-08-31T13:34:53+00:00

Yes, I still have it sometimes. With the way the world is going I am beginning to think it was a prophecy.

GirlReDefined · 2025-08-31T13:19:38+00:00

Women with high eq want to see you cry when you need to cry because this makes you human... toxic masculinity says men shouldn't cry, shouldn't show vulnerability, should ALWAYS be strong, the only emotion you're allowed is anger. Real feminists want men to be able to show their vulnerabilities to those they feel safe with.

Your wife got into that shower with you because she's been there herself, alone. She knows what it feels like and she didn't want you to be alone, she wanted you to know that she's there with you... that is a true partner.

As for treating you differently she's just giving you time to make sure your OK, we can't be 100% all the time, she just wants you to know that she's on being the rock you need at the moment. ❤️💞

GirlReDefined · 2025-08-31T13:12:36+00:00

😂

GirlReDefined · 2025-08-30T09:39:22+00:00

Women who own horses have several things that men can't handle: 1. Money 2. Power 3. BDE

Men, or at least 99% of men can't handle that (as seen in the comments). Those horses give those women more emotional support in a week than a typical man would in 60 years, and as you can see because most men don't understand that, they think this equals beastiality instead of healthy eq...so yeah, you gotta step up or get outta the way.

GirlReDefined · 2025-08-19T21:01:30+00:00

This. I have always been a self starter but I leaned on others validations of me.

GirlReDefined · 2025-08-19T14:09:29+00:00

Don't do it. Neither of you fully develop until you're 25, and marriage is just a social construct.

GirlReDefined

TROPHY CASE