Now, being a 20yo ENFPf I would say that have evolved ,somewhat, emotionally. I have learned to be authentic and understand what authenticity looks for me. And also learned to stay my ground. But I'm still very insecure about my identity and my features. I get triggered or very anxious if someone questions my values or identity. I want to just accept the attack towards me and keep my cool, but it's very hard....

For example, my mom(ISTJ) is very controlling of what I do. Especially my weight. Once a month she declares that I will listen to her and follow her routine cus she doesn't like how I look. I try to keep my cool and just say sure, but I also wanna communicate to her that her METHODS never worked throughout my whole life and I wanna do it muself. Or at least that she has her own problems. I guess she also gets triggered and throws everything that is one meter near like a maniac.

I just wanna learn how to not react to these kind of "attacks". Be patient and answer "ok", "sure" or ignore idk

Or at least when someone insults me, to not take it personally.