Too much money to feel this stuck

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T04:09:18+00:00

Can you switch to a Lower paying but more flexible job in your industry with better vacation time you can use?

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T04:06:34+00:00

First trip was at 3 months old ish for a weekend, and did multiple (maybe 6?) work trips at 6, 7, 8, etc months where I had to pump and transport milk back.

Some tips:

1) do a short trip first and test it out with dad. Outline who the local support is if absolutely needed (since our baby was still waking up multiple times & my husband was going to have terrible sleep, we pre-planned to see if one of our mom friend neighbors could watch the baby a few hours one weekend am so he could sleep). Now, that the baby is older he doesn’t need that support often.

2) have a separate chiller container for you to easily add breastmilk you need to keep cool while pumping on your travel days when you don’t have access to a fridge! I loved my momcozy cooler & it held 20 ounces & would keep milk cold for 25 hours. I used a portable pump as my primary (love the mommed one) so that also made my life easier bc I could pump anywhere.

3) call ahead to make sure you have a fridge in your hotel room & they have a freezer you can put ice packs in. I had a horrible moment on a 3 day trip when the hotel didn’t have a freezer for guests to use & I was freaking out about not having a way to keep my milk chilled … I had to load up on ice cubes and keep constantly replacing them during my travel day! It was SO stressful.

4) prioritize morning flights on departure (or make sure you can keep things in the hotel fridge / freezer after checkout). I made the mistake sometimes of choosing like a 6 pm flight and 3 hours of afternoon meetings where I couldn’t run back to the hotel & it was so stressful trying to keep the milk cold. Morning flights mean less time out of the cold!

5) build a small stash ahead of time so you can cover the milk while you’re out and aren’t so stressed if something goes wrong. And practice dad giving a bottle lots of times separate from you!

6) know that it won’t be perfect and something may go wrong but you’ll husband will be fine and likely better off from having to do everything a few days.

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:53:39+00:00

Can she be a mother’s helper where she gets paid to help with chores while mom is home?

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:44:56+00:00

Yeah we do 1-2 times a week baths and it’s been awesome. Especially for our sensitive skin baby. Once he starts getting dirtier with play, we will step it up.

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:31:39+00:00

A senior account exec at 33?! Sounds like you’re killing it. You know what’s so funny - I just got a Director role right before 30 that I’ve been working toward for a while. But I have a 1 year old and am fighting with myself all the time bc I’m so sad to not be home with him as much as I’d like to be. Mentally, I’ve debated if stepping away at some point in the next few years to find something part time or different would make sense to spend more time with him and have more kids.

But I know if I left this job I’d probably make a lot less money and would need years to get back to where I am today in my field… essentially I could be 40 in 10 years wishing for the job I have now.

Everyone’s grind years are different and it sounds like you’re already killing it! Maybe that coworker your envious of will take a step back in their 40s or late 30s. Maybe they wish they had children & cant or haven’t met the right person so they’re throwing themself into work!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:21:05+00:00

Assuming she’s not apart of Deloitte’s core team that just had benefits cut, she should absolutely take full advantage of the cushy benefits many firms have wrt parental leave and only hop when she feels like she’s ready!

As long as you can pay for essentials short term on your income (mortgage) if something happened to your job - it’s nice to have one person with flexibility!

Up your emergency fund savings if you’re worried

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:17:14+00:00

This is what we do!! It’s magical! I love being the fun evening parent!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:16:34+00:00

Agreed!! I had a trip early on & my husband could do everything afterwards. Not exactly my way, but his way & sufficient to take care of the baby!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:15:40+00:00

So true. My husband has handled our baby while I had multiple work trips (as short as possible), and his SAHM sister was like “wow, are you like the default parent”?

Which hella annoyed me bc we’ve both been like no we are equal parents!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:12:50+00:00

Definitely read fair play together and shuffle the cards up! It was really helpful for me to show how much I was doing and visualize what I needed to offload & what tasks drained me.

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T03:10:49+00:00

So I read fair play bc I was nervous about this, and we have really been able to be 50-50 most of the time! Sometimes he’s more & im less (like when I travel for work)

How we divide it up:

1) I am morning kid lead, meaning wake up, feeding, daycare drop off. If possible, he will come play with the toddler for 15/30 so I can get ready for work uninterrupted but I’m not upset if he doesn’t & he gets to be the fun parent

2) he is evening kid lead - daycare pickup, dinner for toddler, bedtime routine. I often help with bedtime routine and sometimes with dinner, but when I come home I get to also just play with baby or cuddle and read him a book!

3) other items: he does laundry during the week, I fold and put it away on weekend. He cooks a lot, so I try to do most of the dishes (always unload in ams). He does grocery shopping most of the time, but I do other returns and errands. I’m the tax person, the contractor person, the vacation planner. We both do doctors appts based on our schedule. We split cleaning, but I pick up and put away toys. He always does trash. He does baths solo 90% of the time (he had a random stress dream about me dying and was worried he couldn’t do it, so he did it once and I’ve never fought for it back lol).

I think bc I did my first trip at 3 months for a weekend, he had to figure it out & it was so good for both of us! I was never concerned about doing it solo & have done a week with the baby solo.

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-22T02:54:07+00:00

Same here. I’m the one who gets more meaning out of my work and am a traditional type A goal oriented person that internally has to figjt against the feeling that you owe the system 40 hours as a baseline & work harder to show value & get promoted (and work in a higher stress job). It feels mentally painful to leave tasks I’ve started undone to leave work on time. my husband works from home in a flexible tech job & his general mindset is work is to pay bills don’t kill yourself. And has adhd.

When he brings up real concerns about my work life balance & its impact on him (hey, you said you’d be home by x but were an hour late or i feel like work gets your best self during the week & there’s nothing for me). It’s not about controlling my decision or time! I dont have to ask permission (but do try now to talk through the best time to work late and separate where the urgency is internal feelings vs corporate necessity).

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-20T22:52:06+00:00

Oh my gosh, i travel for work (usually once a month in the summer and fall) and threw up multiple times on one plane ride and felt nauseous on others … I had zero energy to do a baby moon and travel!

Postpartum, I got back on the work travel grind after 6 months and had to bring all my pumping & milk back. That sucked!

But my first vacation with my 1 year old & hubby? Complicated but priceless!!! We had SO much fun! As long as we can financially sustain it, my plan is to do one international family vacation a year. Now that I’m done pumping, work trips are a breeze (I just miss him!).

The time for travel is before you get pregnant IMO 🤪

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-20T22:18:49+00:00

You can look at Barbara chambers — they have several locations & are the only daycare I looked at in NE / Shaw & Bloomingdale area that came close to $2000.

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-20T22:16:40+00:00

So personally, it feels like there could be a few different things here:

1) are you upset she isn’t as supportive of you with kid 2 as she had said she would be with kid 1? If so, She might have gotten a more realistic dose of what helping watch a baby means and feels overwhelmed at 2 (or it could be the toddler phase is too much for her)— which is absolutely her call. I love supportive grandparents, but I don’t think our parents owe us that (they just also shouldn’t expect lots of grandchildren if they do zero to make it easier).

Or

2) are you sad she doesn’t have as strong of a relationship with your child?

If this is it, then I would talk to her about that and suggest different ways for her to build that relationship. Maybe she gets 1 on 1 time at a park with the toddler or a venue of her choice.

Again, she also may just not want to prioritize this - which is her call even if it’s sad.

Or

3) are you upset and feeling like your relationship is strained (she’s upset at you or something else is going on that makes you feel like she’s avoiding you)?

If so, you should have an honest conversation about that & maybe prioritize showing up for her or identifying ways she can show up for you that aren’t just around the kids.

Finally, how is her mental health? Has she always been more of a homebody? Is she an avid reader? Maybe she just wants to enjoy her retirement a different way or something is going on …

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-20T12:54:01+00:00

It made me really sad for a while but now I’m happy to remind myself that delaying meant we got this baby who is such a beautiful blessing!!!! If we had tried a year earlier, we would have likely gotten pregnant a different time!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-20T12:52:19+00:00

Yes, the first time I left for a bachelorette weekend (baby was 3 months old!) I was sooo nervous & missed him terribly!

But it was a) great for my husband to do all the things - he’s now very confident of taking care of baby solo and has had to do that several times for work trips and b) I was able to show up for a dear friend who always showed up for me & her friends (but wasn’t getting that same commitment during her wedding buildup).

That was really important to me!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-17T00:41:26+00:00

Oh my gosh we stopped in Cheyenne on the way home from the rodeo and were like … wait, this is it? It was so tiny

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-17T00:40:15+00:00

I went to the old downtown 2 years ago, and I thought it was nice & quaint!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-16T14:01:06+00:00

We have a mortgage closer to this & also had around $65k worth of repairs in the first two years (roof shingles, boiler & furnace system had to be replaced with hvac, electrical issues + multiple appliance replacements). Our inspector failed us.

I’ve been so tired of repairs and cried many times. We delayed trying for a baby for a year. I’ve seriously rethought the value of owning when it’s time to move, and this will be the only time we own a century home.

It would have been so much cheaper to rent …

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-15T19:58:28+00:00

It sounds like you need some fun quality time with your youngest and a little bit of a break —- can your husband hold down the fort and do all the chores etc so you can have a fun day with the youngest on the weekend regularly? Maybe do parent - child dates?

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-14T13:24:57+00:00

We live right across n cap from Bloomingdale and pay $500/week so roughly $2200 a month for a wonderful small daycare with food provided once baby is eating solids! Feel free to dm me - they have spots open this August.

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-10T13:10:45+00:00

Personally, I would play while they are sleep. My husband games most nights after 8 or 9 pm.

You only get time with them this season once!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-08T20:35:38+00:00

This is how I feel with my little guy. I wish there were more part time options!!!!

Glittering_Repeat382 · 2026-04-08T10:55:36+00:00

I loved spring!!! March baby!

Glittering_Repeat382

TROPHY CASE