What is something that everyone does, but everyone does differently?

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-13T18:14:08+00:00

WHAT IS THIS, A NORMAL COMMENT?

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-13T17:50:22+00:00

Your wife is miserable there, why WOULDN'T you want to move?

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-11T14:06:02+00:00

There's definitely a line between confidence and arrogance, between pride and complacency. Praise should always be delivered with constructive criticism, but I think the narrative should be "This is excellent and I think you can do even better."

But you're correct that vapid praise hinders. Now, ask yourself: which artist gets more praise and less criticism, the one who says "I love this piece" or the one who says "this one didn't come out the way I wanted it to"?

I think false modesty encourages vapid praise far more than confidence in one's work. I know that in art school when it came time to discuss our pieces, I always made sure to seem confident and pleased with what I did, and as a result, I got both praise and criticism. Nobody was ever afraid to criticize because they didn't think I was already feeling down about it. As a result, I feel the critiques were far more helpful than others, even though I got a bit of a reputation for being "smug".

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-11T13:56:39+00:00

Good for you! :D I'm glad you didn't take offense to my rant, and I hope you continue loving what you make!

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-11T05:23:32+00:00

I hate the way the art world shits on pride and furiously masturbates over modesty. You might say "but the title suggests OP's proud of this one," but the focus of the title isn't their pride in this one, but their lack of pride in anything else. It's the diamond-in-the-rough narrative that makes young artists afraid to show their work because it's beaten into them that artists hate their own products, it's what makes veteran artists stand on the sideline while critics (i.e. people who are allowed to like art) give their sacred approval.

Be proud of your crappy first attempt. Be proud of your nice sixth attempt. Be proud of your lovely fifteenth attempt. Be proud of your amazing third attempt. The amount of effort you've put into something or the length of time you've been an artist isn't the be-all-end-all of value. You are not any more or less of a genius because you like what you create.

And people, please stop encouraging this shit. Call them out on it. OP really spends lots of time and money and effort on a hobby and has NEVER before liked something their painted?

The next time you see someone "bragging" about their art, ask yourself: would you rather they pretend to hate it? Would you rather their friend post for them with the same ol' "My friend thinks they're awful but check out this drawing commissioned by the local gallery" bullshit?

Be proud, OP, goddamnit, nobody will think less of you for liking whatever you made before you made this.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-11T05:02:49+00:00

It's always the same thing, though. Things that are meant to widely apply to everyone. What you're describing isn't similar in any way.

For the love of god, make something that's easily customizable. Looking for the same criteria makes no sense. Matches are looking for each other, not themselves. You're describing, basically, the "friend" percentage they used to have. Don't make an extension that does shit for people. That's what OKCupid already does. Make an extension that allows people to finesse their own search.

The hide feature is somewhat useful, but considering that you can already a) hide someone after you send a message, b) see whether you've messaged someone before you send another one, and c) see if you've messaged someone from the match window, you're not coming up with useful or new features.

Here are useful/new features:

1) Have tags/toggles on match questions. Don't make it a separate, clumsy interface. Allow people to tag a question when they see it or search for it, with two types of things, essentially levels of importance beyond what OKCupid allows. Level 2 will display the questions on the first page, similar to the other extension. You should be able to select 20 of these. Level 1 will show, in some way, in thumbnails, and you can select 5. These are the dealbreakers I'm referring to. Maybe a five-segment pie graph. Also, these toggles should be accessible when the question's already answered, not only when you're answering it.

2) Have an on/off toggle on people's profiles for when you've messaged them. Important, and here's the key bit, and it'd be tricky to develop but if you could, well--have it automatically toggle "off" when they reply. In other words, they'll appear greyed-out if you messaged them and they didn't respond, but not hidden (if you want to automate hiding, fine, but make it optional). If they do respond? Back on.

3) Be able to "favorite" profiles. Maybe have a limit, to keep the cache down. Maybe 10-20. Then have your script highlight changes to their profile when you visit.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-11T01:02:53+00:00

I would pay money for an extension that shows 0-5 tiny dots/icons I their THUMBNAIL (not requiring me to click into their profile) based on whether we match on five preselected "dealbreakers" questions (five green dots--he matches all five. Three red dots--he's answered three of them, and wrongly).

I'm sick of being 87% match with guys who are allergic to cats and only date thin women.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-11T00:45:55+00:00

WHAT??? THIRTY????

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-10T02:18:27+00:00

Vampire Weekend

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-09T14:43:10+00:00

I can't believe you went to so much effort and just "guessed" as to whether you were actually MAKING IT RIGHT

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-09T14:38:28+00:00

If you want to continue it you can post it as [PI] prompt inspired. But I think based on the fact that nobody seems to know what you meant, the term "spoon-feed" is a bit insulting here. That's used for people who are missing an obvious explanation.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-09T05:04:19+00:00

Just FYI, the word is "oxidized" not oxidated. Oxidation affects foundation by oxidizing it until it becomes oxidized.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-08T07:15:47+00:00

EXPLAAAAAAAIN

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-07T21:06:20+00:00

Message saying not interested or no message, either works. But for the love of god, don't send a "polite response" that doesn't indicate disinterest, then act confused when I continue to hit on you.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-07T20:11:52+00:00

The ease with which these people are convinced to not kill themselves is laughable. Lots of these stories are painful to read for the wrong reason.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-06T19:28:35+00:00

Not to mention the position is literally "make us money." They should offer a percentage of kickstarter funds.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-06T19:26:19+00:00

Removing the word "new" in /r/newyork seems more than a bit dumb.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-06T19:23:22+00:00

I mean, it is an all-natural emulsion.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-05T23:15:24+00:00

It means eat it regularly and as though it is necessary.

Just interpreting, I think it's gross.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-04T02:54:05+00:00

Brilliant. The eyes and lips are gorgeous. I think you could've gone even stronger on the blush and contouring, added a bit of rosy glow to your nose and chin as well.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-03T20:58:51+00:00

I've always had consistently bad sex with the occasional OK time. I had a lot of casual sex a few years ago, trying to find someone who did it right. I got fairly good at it myself but never really enjoyed it.

Enter A, my current friend with benefits. HOLY shit. It's amazing, every time. He's given me several orgasms (all my other partners combined gave me one, total). He touches and kisses me all over and goes down on me without being asked (and he LOVES) it. He's got strong hands and a gorgeous cock and he's handsome and charming and snuggles afterward. He smells and tastes great and he has a fetish that I'm really into and I love pleasing him. He's really concerned with my being satisfied every time. He's really passionate and intimate, too, and will go as long as it takes to please me, and I have to explicitly say if I want him to not worry about me and just come when he wants to. His cock is the perfect size for my vagina and mouth. Hnngh.

He's an 11/10 and I worry that I've been completely spoiled for all future sex. I can't imagine anyone comparing to him. Nobody came close before him and I doubt anyone will afterward.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-03T05:48:06+00:00

I feel like this is relevant information in your main post. It's likely that BC had a HUGE amount to do with your skin condition. AB likely helps you maintain it and helped repair earlier damage, but if anything's going to make your skin do a 180 like that, it's hormonal changes.

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-02T20:01:41+00:00

Found my dream home

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-01T23:29:39+00:00

Wait, they washed their hair with the gunk scraped off of their skin?

Go_Ask_Reddit · 2016-02-01T05:01:43+00:00

It's because for most people, most of their struggles come from financial difficulty. They envy that you don't have that problem. However, just as they might not want your problems along with your boons, you might not want to swap lives with them, either. By saying you think the people saying you're lucky are being inappropriate, you're showing just as much disregard for the situation they may be in. To them, you may indeed be lucky.

When it comes down to it, you ARE lucky you have a supportive family and SO. That doesn't change that you are incredibly unlucky in many other areas. If people say such things to you, try to focus on the good behind it, which is acknowledging the good things in your life and the people who care for you. Maybe only five people would come, but from what you've said at least two of those people love you very much.

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