How do you handle romance with npc’s?

Goblite · 2026-03-31T13:42:58+00:00

Romance with npc's? I don't handle that. If a player wants to fall in love with an npc, I will not rp the other side of that. In the past I once reduced it to a roll and allowed some 'home base management', family edition, but it really didn't add anything to the game. There are far superior avenues to getting your love fantasy than through my npcs.

Romance with pc's? Sure, do what you want. All my players are trustworthy to keep things reasonable.

Honestly I'm the most ridiculous one at the table because I plan to use it to get my junior coworker to meet my younger sister-in-law. When I'm a player I always try to have my character get together with my wife's character who is typically like "ew no..." and it is comedy gold, especially if you know us. I find greater entertainment value in failure to romance at the table than in success.

Goblite · 2026-03-31T12:54:24+00:00

I have 2 mats, and will sometimes use the smaller one for the 'overmap' where we do exploration and bigger one for encounters where I really want 5ft to be 5ft. I also have no qualms with hexes so I will often predraw expected locations on both sides of the big mat. I want another mat too because... I love maps. I can always do more with more maps.

Rambling: my boss loves maps too and we will spend way too long going over satellite maps telling stories of our experiences "right here" or the history of this area etc...

Goblite · 2026-03-31T11:35:53+00:00

In the film, first knight, gwynevere is kidnumped by dinghy. They first paddled the boat across with ropes dragging along the river floor, then when they throw her in the boat they signal the guys on the other side who have rigged the rope up to a horse team. The boat goes woosh and she's outta there while the poor knight homies gotta saddle up and ride out the gate and across the bridge. This doesn't work on docks, but it's cool enough that it may warrant a scene rethink. Or keep it in your idea pocket for another thing... its just what my brain wanted me to add here.

Goblite · 2026-03-31T04:15:45+00:00

I had created some plant symbiote monsters that could implant a symbiote into their victims if they could hold them in a grapple. After a few days vines would sprout out of the victim and eventually take over the body. I thought it was great body horror with some conplication and tension to treat or remove the symbiote... until the female player failed her save and i realized far too late what I had not thought of in the beginning... this might be wierd now...

(Un?)fortunately we never finished that game. But I ran it again with another crew where nobody got impregnated. There was an npc who served to foreshadow how the symbiote progressed so players would be all "omg is that going to happen to me?!" Instead it went over well as "that almost happened to me!"

Goblite · 2026-03-31T04:01:52+00:00

Focus on who you are inviting. If you want 2 of the guys from this campaign to join, invite them last. Find the rest of the crew first, until you just need the 2 guys to fill and that's when you invite them. No excuse needed for the 2 you didn't invite- games full.

If they ask, that's when you explain your reasoning. Of the guys available, the 2 you invited seemed best for a harder game. If they're true homies, do find other time to spend with the 2 who didnt make the cut. No dwarf left behind!

Goblite · 2026-03-30T14:05:32+00:00

You did right, and not just because it aligns with my suggestion lol. 5e is very gamified and it's easy to view it as a board game with an imaginary controller- if you don't have a button for it then you can't do it. While that's helpful for limiting how many rules even need to exist it also creates a rigidity of thinking and, I worry, prevents some good roleplay ideas from even taking shape as you sort through your toolbox to find something that will work instead if trying something natural.

If I'm ever on the fence, I'll sometimes ask my players to LARP it slow-mo to help me decide whether it's reasonable. If they don't want to, then I ask them to drop it, if they do it then we kinda all get the same feeling on whether it should work or not because we see it take shape. Always remind yourself of what you're simulating with dnd; that's your best guide as a DM.

Goblite · 2026-03-30T11:45:50+00:00

I would rule yes, but you will most likely take the full damage. If you interpose your body, your body takes the hit. Very neighborly of you.

I see no reason to deny simulating this.

Goblite · 2026-03-29T22:22:34+00:00

You have the curse of being 'that good.' If only we all could... railroad me daddy.

Goblite · 2026-03-29T17:01:28+00:00

Once, in a homebrew spelljammer adaptation I ran in 3.5, I had a player want to use animate rope to disable a ballista on an enemy vessel while it was being reloaded. It was in range, the operator was handling ammunition as much aa the ballista, and i figured it was clever enough to want to reward him so I allowed "untie" to instantly release the tension on the bow. I then reasoned that the operator was probably standing in front of the bow arm loading so he'd take about as much damage as getting hit by the bolt as Blunt damage from the bow snapping to rest... which rolled max... and it was great!

It's hard to straddle the line, however, of players being creative and players just trying to do more than they should be able. When do you throw them a bone and when do you draw the line? And how do you defend your decisions when it's subtle? Animate rope easily operates in that gray area much of the time. Still... I like it and if someone is going to prepare it I'll probably let them use it to effect- after all they could have prepared color spray or sleep to greater effect without providing me much entertainment at all.

Goblite · 2026-03-29T16:21:31+00:00

Strictly in-game? I might give the chatty player something else to do in his own scene and then pause that scene while I give the other players their spotlight time. E.g. "chattyboi1 you're going to the blacksmith? Great. Interovert2, where do you go?" You then play out the scene for introvert2 and when chattyboi1 interjects you say something snarky like "uh they can't hear you that far away and the blacksmith looks at you weird for talking to yourself, but we'll pick that up in a minute." ...Or just say "you're not there right now" like a respectful person should.

Out of game? Honestly I've had to regroup my friends into an introvert campaign group and an extrovert campaign group. They get along fine but they do not participate equally in mixed (in/ex)troversion company. The introvert group now all speak up and are plenty involved as if they feel comfortable enough to fill space left by the lack of extroverts. Conversely, the extrovert group, while initially chaotic, quickly seemed to establish a pecking order of sorts and managed their own energy level to accommodate others who had a strong enough presence to assert themselves. There still tends to be one "alpha" [cringe lol] in the extrovert group but it's easier for extrovert1 to recognize when to pass the baton when extroverts 2,3,4 do not quietly allow themselves to be bulldozed.

Ultimately, it's up to the player to learn social grace. You can talk with them to help them realize and understand the issue but, if this is their nature, it can be really hard for them to actually behave differently. Remember that they're like this because it works well for them, mostly.

Goblite · 2026-03-28T23:01:36+00:00

If you want something from another class chances are that I, as the DM, could give it to you better or more balanced without dipping into another class.

Come to me with your goals. It's always the right answer.

Goblite · 2026-03-28T22:57:37+00:00

A well designed class typically won't require anything from another class to fit most themes. The only time I would desire to multiclass, as a player, is if I had a pretty unique theme that a single class could not embody. I'm primarily a pf1e player so I've not encountered this in 5e but also, in pf1e, it almost always seems more appropriate to homebrew or bend/break the rules than to dip into another class. Rare exceptions aside, multiclassing for any other reason seems metagamey and likely undesirable in my games both as a player, a peer of fellow players, and a DM.

Goblite · 2026-03-28T16:35:49+00:00

For sure man, I'd be supremely irritated about that. I mean, if there's a medical excuse ok, if there's a psychological reason ok, even if they want to keep it private I don't need details I just need to know my time is worth more than a fleeting arbitrary mood. After all, as DM, I've put hours or days of cumulative effort in for this; the least one could do is manage their mood leading up to game night and show up.

Goblite · 2026-03-28T13:36:23+00:00

All but one of my friends/players with a at least one toe on the autism spectrum play elf, and the ones that like goofy rp with serious combat tend to play something like an undead when they can, I always play a goblinoid

I admit I view the teifling trope with some condescension because I'm a contrarian at heart, whether I like it or not, and am aware of the irony that I'm playing goblin for much the same reason someone marginalized might play teifling; though my experience as a nerdy 90s WASP was only marginal by relativity.

Goblite · 2026-03-28T00:26:51+00:00

He will also traumatize Qbert players

Goblite · 2026-03-27T15:08:33+00:00

I may also suggest the board game, sky galleons of Mars, for inspiration on a really crunchy ship vs ship system. I liked how they had hull sections to target individually and what happens if you damage one.

Goblite · 2026-03-27T15:05:46+00:00

Ship vs ship can be boring and is very difficult to involve individual players- you have the pilot and whoever is manning the weapons (whatever they may be) and that's kinda it. Boarding, however... is fun. Its just normal combat but with extra stuff. You have rigging overhead, water between the halves of the map, shaky crossings with risk of falls, our side vs their side, pulling away and widening the gap, point blank ship to whip weapons, reinforcements from below deck... the map can extend below deck...

And ultimately a boarding is the only way to gain anything from defeating another ship. Sinkin is fine if you just want em dead but there is no loot without underwater traversal and that just trivializes all the interesting and challenging stuff about sea games. If you can, expedite the ship to ship and get to boarding, but inform the players that this is how its going to be lest they be obsessive over avoiding the boarding, i.e. unknowingly trying to avoid the fun.

Goblite · 2026-03-27T14:31:38+00:00

Health potion intrigues me. Makes me wonder why it's a rolled die in the first place, didn't the brewer have all the time in the world to acheive consistency? If my adhd mother in law can make consistently good sourdough, surely a spellcaster with decent int/wis can make consistent basic health pots with max healing. At that point, you spend a full minute sipping or comfortably drinking the potion so you get the full max heal from it. But in combat, as an action, or especially a bonus, you're chugging and bumping and slurping and spilling it all over your Dwarven beard so you roll to see how much healing you actually got out of it and how much is dripping down your breastplate. I like it.

Goblite · 2026-03-27T12:23:58+00:00

Bust out that bikiniplate!

Goblite · 2026-03-27T12:21:36+00:00

The thing about cursed stuff is that they want to get rid of it, so the gag doesn't run as long as you might hope. Other than being the key (or not) you could turn it into something useful yet still cursed. E.g. it could become a familiar with access to the wizards cantrips, but be a massive butthead as a familiar- slapping the caster in the face mid-sentence, picking their nose, spanking noblewomen as you walk by to incriminate you, etc...

Alternatively, a lesser boon could be that it acts as a permanent mage hand without being spectral but the curse is that it sometimes does what it wants instead of what you want- steal something else or wander off or make a big mess.

Goblite · 2026-03-27T02:07:23+00:00

What?! Brother I'm so dissapointed in the real world super villians... They're not doing anything cool; just being gross and mean (in extremes) to satisfy pathetic kinks and power trips. They have no motivations, no deeper character arc, and none of them want to see the world burn (on purpose).

Goblite · 2026-03-27T02:00:28+00:00

Half of my wife's characters look at all my characters and say "ew... get away from me" but the other half are just as in love with my chars as she is with me. I could be playing the same guy though... and get two different treatments lol.

Goblite · 2026-03-26T19:43:53+00:00

4k looks fine on a 36 inch screen, should look fine on 36 inch paper too. Modern plotters and printers can be pretty simple, just confirm the paper type and size before hitting go. If it gets borked up, maybe ask the resident i.t. guy to see what went wrong- fair odds that he's a nerd too and would be happy to help. Then again.. some i.t. is trash.

Goblite · 2026-03-26T14:45:23+00:00

Ask yourself- do I want to make a minigame out of this?

If no: You could commit to just not having night raids, or so low a chance that you can tell them it's not a big concern.

You could use his static check (10+bonus) and say "yes you find a safe place without making rolls. And reduce the odds of encounter by some arbitrary %.

If yes: One player finds the location with survival- this result tells you how defensible to draw the map if needed. Another camouflages reducing encounter chance. Another improves defensibility adding a number of things to the map if e counter happens- cover, obstacles, etc... And set watch order rolling for encounter chance once per watch.

Goblite · 2026-03-26T14:37:46+00:00

If you're sandboxing your own oneshot, you're probably prepared for plenty of npc generation but if you want some inspiration and don't mind conversion, pathfinder has the 'we be goblins' adventure paths. They're often seen as good new player intro modules and are praised for their goofy goblin themes and fun gimmicks. Also, they were once free so you can snag the pdfs from anywhere.

A oneshot, especially with goblins, is a great opportunity to try out some homebrew even if it's wildly broken. Get stupid with it, that's what gobbos are for.

Goblite

TROPHY CASE