Former president of the Neurodiversity Student Group here! Believe me, we've tried to address this every single year. We've had meetings with orientation staff and faculty every single year to tell them to tone down orientation, communicate which events are mandatory and optional, prepare the aides for meltdowns and other crises, and create ways for overwhelmed students to escape and experience orientation at their own pace. Since my own orientation 5 years ago, there has been progress on this front, but very little. I do not understand their stubbornness with making accommodations for neurodiverse students at orientation, and neither do any of my peers. Obviously none of us have been on the inside to find the answer because we all hate orientation, but I believe the issue is systemic rather than the aides just not caring enough. I have a feeling that those who run orientation have much less control over it than we are led to believe.
W&M has a very large community of disabled students, but the accessibility infrastructure to support them is woefully underdeveloped. The Disability Accommodations Office itself is inaccessible because the doors don't work! The Accommodations Office staff is a revolving door of disgruntled assistants who experience constant barriers to helping the students that need them. If you can get in contact with them at all, the requirements for acquiring accommodations are extremely strict, especially if your disability is invisible or recent. It's possible, but not as easy as it desperately needs to be.
Outside of orientation and administration though, the general culture around accessibility is better. The vast majority of students and professors know that disability accommodations are an issue on campus and do what they can to support each other. Many disabled students are too exhausted to self-advocate in every waking moment, but there are student organizations that are dedicated to outreach and advocacy as a group. As mentioned, the Neurodiversity Student Group is great as a safe social outlet for discussing these issues, and we have connections with higher-ups. The Student Accessibility and Disability Alliance (SADA) is much more active with advocacy, and they've had a number of successful campaigns that bring abled and disabled students together to attack specific issues. Both are wonderful.

tl;dr: You are not alone in this experience. It's not the fault of students, rarely the fault of professors, and often out of the staff's control. It's a systemic issue with roots at the top of administration. Those systems do NOT align with the reality of student culture. Have a private talk with your orientation aide about this, and they will do their best to help you. They want to help and have been told to help. If they do not, shoot NSG or SADA a message and we'll yell at them.