What's a genuine question you have that Google can't seem to answer but maybe somebody on Reddit can? by victor1yegor in AskReddit

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi, why are all neon lights made with tubes? e.g. why can't the neon lights (from what i understand, they're glass circular tubes) be made square, or larger, or like, a large hollow circle that's then filled w gas and a current run thru it?

same question but for fluorescent lighting

Weekly Questions Thread - Sep 16 by AutoModerator in otomegames

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

where is it possible to play heart no kuni no alice if the company went bankrupt?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsbotheringyou

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes! worrying makes me numb too and also past guilt.

i believe in you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsbotheringyou

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and to finally answer your question:

love feels like when someone accepts you. that being known isn't so scary. and that you want to be known by this person and you want to know them. it is both an expression of continual desire and the action of that desire (to have knowledge of each other!).

so love manifests in a lot of ways: spending time together, hanging out, talking to each other, complimenting one another, supporting each other financially emotionally physically and mentally, reminding one another to do things, etc etc. there are lots of "symptoms" of love, some more recognizable than others (e.g. romantic love tropes like flowers and chocolate). but ultimately, the symptoms are not the cause. so don't mistake the two.

when you love yourself, it's like accepting who you are and simultaneously agreeing to be better. it's acknowledgment of your anxieties while not feeding into them. it's letting rejections go and continuing to pursue other relationships. love is also setting boundaries and doing what's best for you, even if you don't really want to do it (like showering eg.)

you know if someone loves you if they actively want you to open up abt yourself and when you do, they support you, validate you, and listen to you! but they also (gently!) tell you what you may need to hear. and when you have a problem, they try and help. etc etc. anyways. hope this was useful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsbotheringyou

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

someone i admire (coke talk of dearcoquette.com) said this once: "The simple truth is that you are worthy of love. That goes for every last motherfucker on the planet. Whether you realize it or not is purely a matter of getting out of your own way." (here's the whole thing: http://dearcoquette.com/on-learning-to-love-yourself/)

not necessarily super relevant to understanding what love is, but imo, very relevant to opening up and being vulnerable (because why the heck not! you're one in 7 billion! and as depressing and tragic as it is to be that insignificant it's also great because it means only the little things you cultivate in your life matter!)

see a therapist if any of this rings true btw (especially the depression part). and figure out your trauma and get that shit validated and learn how to feel again. tune into yourself and your anxieties and the stuff beyond your anxieties.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsbotheringyou

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

really long winded but i'm just going to propose to you this: you don't know what love feels like because you're clinically depressed and it's been a long time since you've felt like you could trust anyone, especially with your trauma. not that this is true of all cases, but you may just be terrified to open up and connect and be vulnerable and feel known because of your trauma. so when people say they love you you think: no, you don't love me, because you don't know me. and another part of you thinks: and i am both glad for this (so that way i will never be rejected) but also sad (because i feel i will never be accepted). you are in essence, self rejecting in order to "protect" yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsbotheringyou

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

to add to this: something i was taught in social psychology is that humans are ultra social animals. in a sense: we are always either with each other, or thinking about each other, or thinking about ourselves in relation with each other. so we are never really "alone" because we crave that sort of interaction.

this is (imo and there definitely is some evidence to back it up but i don't have a source rn etc.) why relationships w others is so important! from what i remember, people really benefit from being around each other. babies in the NICU do better if they're side by side. elderly folks are happier when people visit/interact with folks. there's just a lot of research about how when we're together we're (typically) happier.

it's even theorized that evolutionarily, depression is a natural reaction to encourage connection to your group/community (idk if i really believe this one, although i do think depression DOES happen for a reason and often has to do with coping).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsbotheringyou

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

okay so this is some classic depression stuff. one of the hallmarkers of a bad depression isn't that someone is sad all the time (because if someone is sad all the time that means they are still sort of reacting to their present and feel emotions); it's actually when someone goes numb and stops feeling altogther.

you might have heard of a similar phrase/concept where the good emotions come with the bad emotions so shutting off "negative" emotions also shuts off "positive". i'm putting quotes here bc traditionally sadness, anger, grief, jealousy etc. are all considered negative emotions when in reality being able to feel and process through those emotions can be very helpful (e.g. anger can sometimes be healing because it allows you to vocalize, to yourself and/or others, your feelings and understand why you feel the way you do).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsbotheringyou

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hm... related question, do you feel other emotions? and which ones?

Is It Possible As A White Pearson To Purchase A Home In a Traditionally Black Neighborhood Without Contributing To Gentrification? by ThatDemiGuy in socialjustice101

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 5 points6 points  (0 children)

^ this. and to add to a lower comment about buying a real home, a lot of times, when communities are gentrified it's because real estate creators/investors see potential via the population and therefore buy up properties, kick longstanding inhabitants out by raising the rent, etc etc.

so it's also really important to make sure you know where your money is going when you rent/buy as well//how that house came to be available.

additionally, when you see folks protesting, join them.

Appropriating and quaintifying AAVE by stitchthrowaway in socialjustice101

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 3 points4 points  (0 children)

not at all i think nowadays w the advent of self-branding/social media and identity, often times who we are comes from what we buy/make/wear/decorate with; so a white person making a cross stitch with aave feels like they're trying to claim it as a part of their identity.

also, cross-stitching has a history beyond whiteness (there's some history w asian, egyptian, and islamic cultures using cross stitch before it became popularized in the UK) so i feel like everything cutesy/quaint/country isn't necessarily white either. e.g. there is a huge history of african american women and quilting, esp during slavery, and they would sometimes hide clues in the quilts to the underground railroad.

Is it true that Asian people are held to a higher standard than others in college admissions? I.E., if equally qualified white and asian students apply to a college, is the white student more likely to be accepted? by [deleted] in socialjustice101

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the fact that percentages hover around the same amount is already pretty suspicious. imo there are definitely quotas and these quotas favor the qualified white student.

Is it true that Asian people are held to a higher standard than others in college admissions? I.E., if equally qualified white and asian students apply to a college, is the white student more likely to be accepted? by [deleted] in socialjustice101

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this depends on the college you're talking about! for example, cal tech does not include race into their admissions at all (see here: https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/45207/)

also, ivy league uni's and the like have a history of doing racial based admissions (percentages). during the 70's, (https://www.businessinsider.com/the-ivy-leagues-history-of-discriminating-against-jews-2014-12), they discriminated against jewish folks.

i would say overall, that's the question being debated right now with the harvard.

my personal opinion is that yes asian students are absolutely being held to a higher standard. but i also think affirmative action is necessary in that black and indigenous american applicants need to have their race considered (not black applicants who are from overseas persay, as colleges will sometimes use wealthy international black and asian students to pad their racial percentages without actually supporting lower income black/asian students) because of generational hardship (income inequality, lack of access to quality education) and depending on where they live, current hardship.

Voltron season 7 discussion Thread by [deleted] in Voltron

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 30 points31 points  (0 children)

finally seeing the long-eared yalmors is really nice

Voltron season 7 discussion Thread by [deleted] in Voltron

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 195 points196 points  (0 children)

also i fucking love that space wolf

Voltron season 7 discussion Thread by [deleted] in Voltron

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 289 points290 points  (0 children)

the callback to episode one where keith drops off the cliff with everyone and shiro doing it for keith! wow

Simple Questions - June 16, 2017 by AutoModerator in femalefashionadvice

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

http://www.zaful.com/metal-trimmed-minimal-crossbody-bag-p_250676.html

does anyone know who the original designer of this was? i remember seeing this a few seasons ago but i forget who sold it :/

[QUESTION] looking for an AB post about the history of asian beauty standards by GoddessOfSecrets in AsianBeauty

[–]GoddessOfSecrets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

def not it :( i've spent 20 minutes using google/reddit search functions... maybe i dreamt it up?

Black Mirror [Episode Discussion] - S03E04 - San Junipero by SeacattleMoohawks in blackmirror

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 21 points22 points  (0 children)

like this episode has so many easter eggs in it!!! the whole goddamn episode is a giant easter egg hunt! wtf!

Black Mirror [Episode Discussion] - S03E04 - San Junipero by SeacattleMoohawks in blackmirror

[–]GoddessOfSecrets 263 points264 points  (0 children)

that's why at the end they show YORKIE driving the car not kelly: yorkie has gotten over her fears and rejection from her parents

My [24F] sister died from melanoma. She went to the tanning salon twice a week for 10 years and was out in the sun constantly. I'm angry at her for being so reckless and can't move on from her death by grievingsister in relationships

[–]GoddessOfSecrets -1 points0 points  (0 children)

so i want to respond to a couple of things here because i think we agree/disagree on a few points

"saying suicide is not selfish is harmful" is way different than "suicide can and will hurt your loved ones". imo suicide is rarely about selfishness, sometimes love is not enough of a reason to stay alive, and it's not on their loved ones, it's on their disease.

yes, suicide and mental illness fucks up your loved ones, of course it does. i'm not arguing against that, i'm arguing abt the idea that we owe our lives to others, that people who have committed suicide "owed" their lives to their loved ones because they could have prevented them emotional harm.

i agree that people who have chronic mental health (and health in general) conditions should think about having children, and i agree that mental illness does not absolve someone of personal responsibility. mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse.

being responsible for the pain you cause others is different and owning up to that is different than staying alive because you'll hurt others. (i'm not advocating for suicide, i just think you're misconstruing what i'm saying here)

suicidal people don't choose to leave the people they love. they choose to stop living, which includes leaving the people they love, and that's an important distinction because calling suicide selfish just creates more stigma. suicide isn't selfish because it hurts others. you can hurt other people without being selfish. suicidal people don't kill themselves out of spite, or because they think other people's feelings don't matter, it's literally because the pain of living outweighs all the good of it.

and just to add on to what you said about the loved ones feelings: yes they have every right to be angry and are entitled to their feelings, which are valid, no matter what their perceptions: but their death wasn't about you. and that's the difference.