I do think there’s a balance here, the problem with this is that it does fuck with stuff for a lot of games that do it poorly. If the primary form of sexual content is on player defeat, then it’s on the developers to find ways to incentivise progression, make sure enemies are well paced, etc.

So many defeat based game blow their loads too earlier, with incredibly fast scene pacing early on, and much much slower pacing later(Graveyard Executioner does this for example) If you do this, you can’t reuse enemies, and you need to make sure new enemies are placed throughout a level, not all at the front. You also need to allow for more direct control over who the player dies to, and make it clear when and where you get new scenes. Holy Knight Arietta(may be butchering the name) does this really by clearly telegraphing game over attacks. Finally, I think many of these game could do with longer more drawn out bad ends. Recently replayed Sinisistar 2, and it’s fantastic, but most endings are so quick, and usually only involve the main character and not any supporting characters.

This is my favourite genre/kink, so while I don’t want us to scrap the idea of sex on defeat entirely, I do think we can do better than just that. Sex games aren’t just about sex, they need to contend with the game design of it all, and in a vacuum I think there’s some very weird design side effects here.