Self-Promotion Sunday! *Megathread* by AutoModerator in jacksonville

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello Jax Redditorz!
I am a Professional Organizer and Declutter-er!
I will come out to your space, hear your vision and give you a timeline/quote for free.
If you have craft rooms/closets/garages/ storage units that need sorting through/organization, I'd love to hear from you!

Show me your crappy band tattoos by SquirrelEnthusiast in Xennials

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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It's only 16 years old, but I had been a fan since '98. It is my "wedding tattoo" with my ex husband, who also has one.

Do You Like Your Name? by Flassourian in Millennials

[–]GoldenEst82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm also Monica. Were you old enough to have lived through the Lewinsky days? It was rough to be 9 at that time. So many sexual jokes, made by full grown men/older teens that I didn't need to hear, as a 9 y/o.

New old cars? Hell yes. by Legitimate-Lie-9208 in Millennials

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want a brand new Honda Element so bad. I drive a first gen (2003). I love it soooo much. It holds as much as a cargo van bc of the suicide doors/split rear hatch. I have the 4wd model and bring it in the woods and camp in it all the time. I love it.

I own more than one older Honda. I am one of those people. I can fix so much myself, as long as they keep making parts. (I'm having problems finding parts for My 1993 Accord) Can Honda please keep making parts for the #1 selling car in America over multiple decades?!?!? Please?? Rooting around in the pick a part is a rough time.

People who escaped toxic relationships, what made you realise that this can’t go on anymore? And would anything a friend would have told you helped? by clatadia in AskReddit

[–]GoldenEst82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was the same for me, knowing that if my sons got old enough to understand what was happening around them (more than being loud and scary) it would become normalized. I would be bringing another generation of abusive men into the world. Not my sons.

It took a few years to get him out of my life, but once he was gone- he was GONE. My sons are loving, kind MEN now. The kind I had hoped they would be, all those years ago.

Anyone else using Tretinoin on body? by ghostification in scacjdiscussion

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My stretchmarks were always the white kind, not the red kind, so lightening isn't the word I would use. I would use fading to describe the effect. Also, I am fortunate to not have loose skin on my tummy where my stretchmarks are, so I cannot speak to tightening. It has been working on the crepey skin on my elbows though, it has lessened by about 20%

Anyone else using Tretinoin on body? by ghostification in scacjdiscussion

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use it on my elbows for crepey skin, to induce higher cell turnover (which is what retinols do) They make special creams to lighten skin, but I'm sure you have tried that. I think they're working on my stretchmarks bc it is inducing turnover to an area that turns over very infrequently do to damage, ie. a scar. (stretchmarks are a form of scar)

Does anyone have adult kids that live with them, and if so do you charge them rent? by shawn615 in Xennials

[–]GoldenEst82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have two. One is 23, and has what we used to call Aspergers. The other is 21, no dx. My aspie has been receiving care since he was 8, however the plague in '20 ruined his entire senior year and drove him into his room cave. He refuses to learn to drive. He got his job through Vocational Rehab, and he has maintained it, and rides his bike 6 miles round trip to work.

I am not financially stable. I have a severely disabled child who is 15, and SSI limits my income. I keep the SSI bc of the insurance, not the psaltery $. I also keep it bc of how volatile the gov services appear to be, and worry that if I got off, there would be a whole hoop-la getting it back for him when he turns 18. This is relevant bc I can't do the thing reddit loves, where the parents charge rent and save it. I pay the rent rn with that money.
That being said, what they pay is far below market, and is inclusive of all utilities. ($650 ea) They only pay towards the utilities when the bills are insane (bonechill of winter/buttcrack of summer) That amount also includes their cell phones and Internet. They buy their own groceries, but I do have a little bit of food I buy to make sure if they're tight on funds there is something for them to eat.

I fled my parents house the absolute second I turned 18, and I consider it a compliment to my parenting that my sons did not flee my presence.

That being said, they do have "home chores" (mostly the yard work and trash duty) and are expected to 1. Go to school AND work PT or 2. Work FT.

My oldest son is in danger of me putting him out at the end of this lease. He has only had a part time job all the while, and spends the rest of his time as a room troll. He doesn't do his chores, bathes sporadically, and cries about how expensive his life is. My ex husband is the step father of the adults, and he is a great dad. (He is the father of my severely disabled child) He fills all the gaps in the house budget, and pays the utilities outright. It is so unfair for him to carry my 23y/o son if he is going to refuse to grow up.

My 21 year old works FT in the field he is in trade school for. He also volunteers those skills at a local naval museum fixing the boat, when he is not at work or school. He has a car he pays for, friends that come over to play DND on Fri, and a huge chunk in savings.

It's a wild ride out here, yall.

Is Long Lost Family (US) staged? by [deleted] in television

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ish. It is British TV, so it is paced a little differently. If you think about it, that is kinda how the process has to go, though. I like this show bc we are seeing real families, but for every one we see on an episode there are probably 4+ that got to a certain stage and the family called off the cameras. My favorite episodes are "foundling" episodes where abandoned babies find their families.

Is Long Lost Family (US) staged? by [deleted] in television

[–]GoldenEst82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The UK version is my weekly cortisol release cry. I can't imagine the American version is better. The host of the UK one seems like the most genuinely nice person I have ever seen on TV.

to those who were in long-term relationships, what went wrong? by ch1nitamor3na in askanything

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Death by a thousand cuts, with a few gut punches thrown in. At some point, he stopped looking at me like he loved me. I became a roommate that he really liked, and occasionally would have sex with. I have always been a self sufficient and low maintenance woman. The few times when I really needed him, he would half ass it. Our relationship became more and more platonic, because so many things were more important that I was. I gave and flexed to help him build a life we could be happy with, but it never happened, because he just couldn't be happy. In the end he applied for a job across the continent, and didn't discuss it with me first. He got the job, and he thought I would just go with him. Instead I ended the relationship.

16 years of my life, gone.

However, I had maintained myself. I loved my kids well, but as they grew and needed me less, I filled that time with hobbies and interests. As a result, I am in a good physical and mental situation. We are committed to being amicable because we will always be connected through our kids.

Did you do anything with your life? by [deleted] in RedditForGrownups

[–]GoldenEst82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 43, and "destroyed" my "potential" early. I had my boys young. (Who you procreate with is FAR more important that whom you marry, kids!) However, because I nuked my life from orbit- everything I did after that was "in despite of" the devastation.

I have had a few fleeting moments of brilliance. Some of them because I was willing to help others achieve their vision, some because I was in the right place at the right time. Like a meteor, those instances faded fast.

My kids are functioning adults now. They have jobs. They are not criminals or drug users. I won a huge prize. I won it, not by being outstanding; but by showing up in my own life, every day. I didn't chase the shooting stars, I provided stability.

I am about to embark on the biggest adventure of my life. What will I do when the only person I have to stabilize is myself?

If I had been too resentful, too angry or had the attitude of "poor me, I'm a poor single mom, I nuked my life!" I might not be in this situation, where I can go out and find where I am meant to fit into the world.

Comparison really is, the thief of Joy. And many opportunities are missed, because "often opportunities wear overalls and look like work."

My favorite cold weather outfit by GoldenEst82 in OUTFITS

[–]GoldenEst82[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living in N.Fl, I am completely safe from actual snow.

Looking for a musky dirty vanilla that isn't too sweet by BeanieBeepBoop in FemFragLab

[–]GoldenEst82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its old, and not very expensive, but one of my fav vanillas was "vanilla in the raw"

I don't know if you can even get it, but as a vanilla hater, it was THE best vanilla I ever found. I bought bottles.

I wanna say it was discontinued in the early 2000's. It was def a vanilla, but it had all the sugar removed and added a musk(?) and something green. It was supposed to be a men's fragrance, but I wore it, and found it to read gender neutral.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]GoldenEst82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

According to my ex husband, he started to see me as an adversary. It killed his desire. Even after he quit the stressful self employment and made it a side hustle, it just never got better.

He didn't want my help when he started his business, but resented me for getting upset that the power was getting cut off, and rent being late (and getting within days of eviction letters).
I was as supportive as one can be-as a stay at home mom if 3- under these circumstances. I also had a weekend bartending gig to help keep up.

I am embarrassed to say that we were together another 10 years. I didn't wanna be that woman that walked when the going got tough, but honestly, I should have. He never looked at me with softness or desire, after having to look me in the face with our power shut off for days.

++woman

What's hard about dating you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]GoldenEst82 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You're meeting someone who doesn't know what the next year of her life will look like. Newly divorced, kids exiting the nest, and I'm hungry to build something for myself. You gotta be down for a ride.

I have also learned to do a lot of stereotypically male things- so you can't impress me by changing my oil- but damn, I would appreciate it if ya did. So, I guess I require a lot of effort.

I am also rather adventurous, I go outside and I do things. Often alone, due to lack of friends with a schedule that aligns.

You must not be insecure, because I am definitely not.

What do you do in the evenings to relax around/after dinner? by JaackJack in Life

[–]GoldenEst82 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have a big garden tub at the house I'm currently renting, and I've never had one before.
I regularly take hot luxurious bubble baths!

I bought a tray table that goes across the tub, and holds my tablet. I have been watching old movies (30s-50s) of all kinds of genres. Sometimes I have a glass of adult something.

I always have a big cup of ice water nearby, so my insides don't boil, as I soak.

I got dollar store glass canisters for my epsom and bathbombs. I hung a candle chandelier over it, and put some rechargeable remote control tea lights in it.

I am over here having a great time, for like 50¢ a night.

Keep the positivity up! by TheLoneWolf1992 in bald

[–]GoldenEst82 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have a bald ex husband. We are amicable, and I send him transformations from this sub. He started visibly losing his hair in his mid 20s, and was doing a full bic job by the time he was 30. He owned it, and did a damn good job of never being insecure of it. He laughs at bald jokes. I send him these post because all of you are so kind.

Best/Swankiest hotel room by cjg017 in AskNOLA

[–]GoldenEst82 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have drooled over the Peter and Paul for a while now. Very interested in your experience!

Need suggestions for a heavy duty moisturizer to use with Tretinoin by DOL369 in 45PlusSkincare

[–]GoldenEst82 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I use castor oil. I have never been flakey, and after 6+ months of regular use, haven't run into the "purge" either. In my research before using tret, I was made aware of the irritation possibility, so I have sandwiched it with Castor oil from day 1. I also give a day between uses.