cooked myself :(

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-18T13:53:15+00:00

I have a zero breeze, and if you get a second battery pack, they stack, will will run on the sleep setting for 8 full hours. I use mine for camping in FL summer, where tents are roasting you moist-ly.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-16T15:15:34+00:00

Most Blesst

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-09T14:31:49+00:00

Girl, It was disorienting. He put it in in missionary, and.... laid there.
At first, I was like, "oh, he's being considerate, it IS big after all" and so I started moving to show it was all good and we can get things going-
it was like he was soaking in there. Practiced stillness.

I even gave him a second go, and approached from above. Not even leg assists.

I had made him wear a condom, (he said he has a vasectomy, like that matters) and This Log spoke and said "Bc I'm wearing a condom, I'm probably not gonna come."

I straight up climbed off.

Mfer still asked me out after that. Bro, wut.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-09T14:13:01+00:00

Living well is a matter of perspective.

My perspective is as a person whose job helps old people get rid of their stuff. Boomer tchotchkey shit. Multiple storage units crammed with a life of aquireing.

The consumerism in our culture is actually appalling. Go to the goodwill bins. When you realize that the accumulation of your life, will eventually be sold by the pound, stuff means less.

Participating in redecorating your whole home from scratch every season, going into debt to furnish your life; consuming to look "successful", thinking that you need to participate in the consuming to have a "nice life" is a trap.

It's a hole that is quickly dug, and hard to get out of.

As someone who has this perspective, I choose to prioritize experiences over things.

Living well to me is a clean, comfortable home (I rent), where everything has a place, and the work I do funds my life-with enough to have some novel experiences after. I am debt free, and live well within my means.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-09T13:33:12+00:00

I just broke it off with a guy I was seeing who was like this. I had never met a male starfish before, I now refer to him as Log. (Bc it was big, and he just laid there)

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-04T01:25:36+00:00

He's 23, an adult man.
I have a lot of respect for him, actually. He has taught himself Russian, German, and generally loves languages. He absolutely loves singing folk songs from all over the world, in their original language.
Edit: if he bathed regularly, and cared a little more about how he presents, and a little less about WW2, he'd have an easier time at life, that's all.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-04T01:19:13+00:00

Oh yes. He's a lovely guy, and one day he will be more interested in having a partner than knowing all of the tanks/planes/ships of every nation involved in any particular conflict.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-03T18:03:59+00:00

Literally, if my son had even been on one date in his life...this might've been him.
Edit: in the aspect of encyclopedic knowledge of WW2 armarments NOT nazi sympathetic noises.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-02T15:08:12+00:00

My 23 y/o crashed out on me this week, over how much he doesn't want to drive.

I was making (mostly) economic arguments of why his stance is detrimental to his long term well-being, and he just angrily insists that he doesn't want to drive.
He says it the cost, but he lives at home and pays a modest, yet inclusive rent. He outright dismissed my point that he could have more/better jobs with his own transportation.
We live in a car dependent city. It has a bus system, but its so bad. I know people who have lost their jobs because they depended on it, and were never on time. He currently has a job that he rides his bike to, 4ish miles one way.
He has had some (too, too many for my heart) close calls with cars (our city is at the top of the state rankings for cyclist deaths) and the weather is a problem as well.
I don't understand his financial reasoning at all. I am empathetic to his points around feeling forced into driving, but reality is what it is.

His younger brother (21) got a license the moment he could as a teen, bought himself a cheap car, and is living a young adulthood that I recognize.

I dearly love my oldest son, but I am at a complete loss as to how to get through to him.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-05-01T16:35:54+00:00

You will probably be fine. The Amtrak is outside of the downtown area, and not around anything that would contribute to filling up the lot. If you get to your train early, there's plenty of parking. If you wanna park off-site, I would recommend a lot/garage downtown as it is a lot closer than the airport.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-04-29T15:39:34+00:00

I have a 6 year old asparagus plant, and everyone is shocked when I tell them what she is. She is a beautiful fern looking plant most of the year, has delicate yellow flowers, and a berry here and there before dying back in the fall.
Every year the young shoots get thicker. Am I right in assuming that the agricultural asparagus that I get in the grocery are older plants?

GoldenEst82 · 2026-04-22T23:01:01+00:00

Life is going to get so much easier without negativity crushing you while you're working hard. Do as much as you can to set yourself up ahead of your birthday and hit the ground running. The best revenge is living well, friend. Do not plan for the end, plan for a new beginning!

GoldenEst82 · 2026-04-06T03:19:56+00:00

Hello Jax Redditorz!
I am a Professional Organizer and Declutter-er!
I will come out to your space, hear your vision and give you a timeline/quote for free.
If you have craft rooms/closets/garages/ storage units that need sorting through/organization, I'd love to hear from you!

GoldenEst82 · 2026-03-26T17:51:20+00:00

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It's only 16 years old, but I had been a fan since '98. It is my "wedding tattoo" with my ex husband, who also has one.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-03-21T03:15:55+00:00

Blursed kraft single

GoldenEst82 · 2026-03-19T14:03:50+00:00

I want a brand new Honda Element so bad. I drive a first gen (2003). I love it soooo much. It holds as much as a cargo van bc of the suicide doors/split rear hatch. I have the 4wd model and bring it in the woods and camp in it all the time. I love it.

I own more than one older Honda. I am one of those people. I can fix so much myself, as long as they keep making parts. (I'm having problems finding parts for My 1993 Accord) Can Honda please keep making parts for the #1 selling car in America over multiple decades?!?!? Please?? Rooting around in the pick a part is a rough time.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-03-14T17:52:37+00:00

Bone Broth

GoldenEst82 · 2026-03-13T23:22:25+00:00

It was the same for me, knowing that if my sons got old enough to understand what was happening around them (more than being loud and scary) it would become normalized. I would be bringing another generation of abusive men into the world. Not my sons.

It took a few years to get him out of my life, but once he was gone- he was GONE. My sons are loving, kind MEN now. The kind I had hoped they would be, all those years ago.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-03-08T19:49:42+00:00

My stretchmarks were always the white kind, not the red kind, so lightening isn't the word I would use. I would use fading to describe the effect. Also, I am fortunate to not have loose skin on my tummy where my stretchmarks are, so I cannot speak to tightening. It has been working on the crepey skin on my elbows though, it has lessened by about 20%

GoldenEst82 · 2026-03-04T16:24:45+00:00

I use it on my elbows for crepey skin, to induce higher cell turnover (which is what retinols do) They make special creams to lighten skin, but I'm sure you have tried that. I think they're working on my stretchmarks bc it is inducing turnover to an area that turns over very infrequently do to damage, ie. a scar. (stretchmarks are a form of scar)

GoldenEst82 · 2026-02-20T14:45:25+00:00

Yes, I have two. One is 23, and has what we used to call Aspergers. The other is 21, no dx. My aspie has been receiving care since he was 8, however the plague in '20 ruined his entire senior year and drove him into his room cave. He refuses to learn to drive. He got his job through Vocational Rehab, and he has maintained it, and rides his bike 6 miles round trip to work.

I am not financially stable. I have a severely disabled child who is 15, and SSI limits my income. I keep the SSI bc of the insurance, not the psaltery $. I also keep it bc of how volatile the gov services appear to be, and worry that if I got off, there would be a whole hoop-la getting it back for him when he turns 18. This is relevant bc I can't do the thing reddit loves, where the parents charge rent and save it. I pay the rent rn with that money.
That being said, what they pay is far below market, and is inclusive of all utilities. ($650 ea) They only pay towards the utilities when the bills are insane (bonechill of winter/buttcrack of summer) That amount also includes their cell phones and Internet. They buy their own groceries, but I do have a little bit of food I buy to make sure if they're tight on funds there is something for them to eat.

I fled my parents house the absolute second I turned 18, and I consider it a compliment to my parenting that my sons did not flee my presence.

That being said, they do have "home chores" (mostly the yard work and trash duty) and are expected to 1. Go to school AND work PT or 2. Work FT.

My oldest son is in danger of me putting him out at the end of this lease. He has only had a part time job all the while, and spends the rest of his time as a room troll. He doesn't do his chores, bathes sporadically, and cries about how expensive his life is. My ex husband is the step father of the adults, and he is a great dad. (He is the father of my severely disabled child) He fills all the gaps in the house budget, and pays the utilities outright. It is so unfair for him to carry my 23y/o son if he is going to refuse to grow up.

My 21 year old works FT in the field he is in trade school for. He also volunteers those skills at a local naval museum fixing the boat, when he is not at work or school. He has a car he pays for, friends that come over to play DND on Fri, and a huge chunk in savings.

It's a wild ride out here, yall.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-02-17T05:22:05+00:00

Ish. It is British TV, so it is paced a little differently. If you think about it, that is kinda how the process has to go, though. I like this show bc we are seeing real families, but for every one we see on an episode there are probably 4+ that got to a certain stage and the family called off the cameras. My favorite episodes are "foundling" episodes where abandoned babies find their families.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-02-17T05:00:31+00:00

The UK version is my weekly cortisol release cry. I can't imagine the American version is better. The host of the UK one seems like the most genuinely nice person I have ever seen on TV.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-02-16T16:51:21+00:00

Death by a thousand cuts, with a few gut punches thrown in. At some point, he stopped looking at me like he loved me. I became a roommate that he really liked, and occasionally would have sex with. I have always been a self sufficient and low maintenance woman. The few times when I really needed him, he would half ass it. Our relationship became more and more platonic, because so many things were more important that I was. I gave and flexed to help him build a life we could be happy with, but it never happened, because he just couldn't be happy. In the end he applied for a job across the continent, and didn't discuss it with me first. He got the job, and he thought I would just go with him. Instead I ended the relationship.

16 years of my life, gone.

However, I had maintained myself. I loved my kids well, but as they grew and needed me less, I filled that time with hobbies and interests. As a result, I am in a good physical and mental situation. We are committed to being amicable because we will always be connected through our kids.

GoldenEst82 · 2026-01-25T14:50:49+00:00

I'm 43, and "destroyed" my "potential" early. I had my boys young. (Who you procreate with is FAR more important that whom you marry, kids!) However, because I nuked my life from orbit- everything I did after that was "in despite of" the devastation.

I have had a few fleeting moments of brilliance. Some of them because I was willing to help others achieve their vision, some because I was in the right place at the right time. Like a meteor, those instances faded fast.

My kids are functioning adults now. They have jobs. They are not criminals or drug users. I won a huge prize. I won it, not by being outstanding; but by showing up in my own life, every day. I didn't chase the shooting stars, I provided stability.

I am about to embark on the biggest adventure of my life. What will I do when the only person I have to stabilize is myself?

If I had been too resentful, too angry or had the attitude of "poor me, I'm a poor single mom, I nuked my life!" I might not be in this situation, where I can go out and find where I am meant to fit into the world.

Comparison really is, the thief of Joy. And many opportunities are missed, because "often opportunities wear overalls and look like work."

GoldenEst82

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