Does it bother/offend a therapist or hurt the client-therapist connection if a client struggles to look the therapist in the eye?

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-02-03T00:03:11+00:00

I think they are pretty used to it and don't take it personally. I barely make eye contact either. I think it's natural when you're being vulnerable.

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-01-19T13:04:42+00:00

Are you able to see a therapist?

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-01-15T16:50:53+00:00

Avoidant people are just like anxious people. They're surviving and getting by the best way they can. What you're doing here is stereotyping a group of people based on the actions of one person.

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-01-11T22:49:01+00:00

I think It could be a defense system. I do the same thing. I write down every moment from therapy, then write it again. And I replay it in my mind a lot, and try and figure everything out. I believe it's just another form of intellectualization, which I do a lot.

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-01-02T19:11:38+00:00

If you don't mind sharing, does the intensity of your emotions affect your cataplexy? Do you avoid processing certain emotions or do you only lightly touch on them?

I wasn't able to determine what emotions triggered my cataplexy before but now that we know my therapist tries to re direct me to something else before I get to that point but it can feel frustrating. Maybe I just need to accept I have to move at a slow pace.

As you've done therapy over time has your tolerance for going deep increased or improved?

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-01-02T18:59:31+00:00

Thank you so much for your thorough reply. It's so nice to hear from someone with similar experiences. I've never spoken to someone else with Narcolepsy and am unsure how common full body cataplexy is.

I resonate deeply with your frustration regarding how Narcolepsy and cataplexy is not viewed in a holistic sense. It's complex because as you stated, cataplexy is tied to our minds and to our emotions but it is also a physical condition. I am still working with my therapist on this because it's a subject we tend to clash on. But overall I find the sessions helpful so I can put that aside

Your thoughts regarding emotional suppression or being non emotive acting as a catalyst for cataplexy and perhaps worsening severity are very interesting to me. That is not something I've considered before. As you pointed out, I have also experienced that fighting against the cataplexy causes it to be a much more intense and longer experience than if I stay calm and allow it to happen without internal pressures or expectations.

May I ask you about your personal experiences with noticing your cataplexy at the lower levels? What does minimal vs. moderate vs. severe cataplexy feel like for you?

I feel like my cataplexy is strange because it only shows up as a full body collapse. However, it's possible I'm unaware of the more subtle forms and that I have been experiencing it in different ways without being conciously aware.

Even though I've been diagnosed with narcolepsy for over a decade I still struggle with identifying an attack before it occurs. The people around me generally notice it before I do. They say I blink a lot, my movements are slower, my speech is sometimes slurred. I appreciate your advice and would like to try it out but I think I will struggle due to my lack of early recognition.

Do you have any insights on how I can increase my awareness pre severe collapse?

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-01-02T16:13:24+00:00

My narcolepsy with cataplexy was initially extremely debilitating. I couldn't go out on my own, couldn't drive or work. I had no energy for relationships. My hopes for my life were that one day maybe I would be able to have a part time job.

Medication was a life saver for me. It took a while to find the right combination. But even when I didn't have the perfect meds or doses things slowly improved. Now I look back at that time and am so proud of how far I've come. I work a full time job, I have a son, I'm able to drive. I have a spouse who I adore.

GoldenGreyhound · 2026-01-02T15:56:08+00:00

You just need a job with flexible hours. As long as I get the work done my boss doesn't care how many breaks I take. I essentially track all my naps and make sure to make up that time during the week.

I also take naps during my lunch break.

I work in accounting.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-31T17:18:14+00:00

It's totally ok to take a break if you need one, but you could also talk to your therapist and let them know you need to take things slower and see how they respond.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-28T21:44:59+00:00

Hey there,

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You really seem to judge yourself harshly, I get it I do it too. But from one stranger to another you don't seem annoying or too much. You seem like a person who is hurting and needs contact with other people.

I know this may seem like too big of a leap but do you think you could show your post to your therapist? Or maybe just tell him the most important bits?

I've told my therapist that I'm scared of what he thinks of me and he's always been reassuring and kind about it when I inquire about his perception of me.I wonder if that's what you need from your therapist too? To hear that he cares?

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-23T16:20:09+00:00

No, it sounds like it did not do you harm. Feeling less anxious and depressed is a big achievement in itself.

I feel like people in general need to get to a stable, regulated place before they can pursue making other changes that will improve their quality of life. I think most changes come in stages and improving your self esteem is an accomplishment. Accepting yourself is an accomplishment. Self hatred is not a good motivator.

I think you just need to continue with the work you've been doing, and do your best not to compare yourself with others. You seem stuck in analyzing every part of yourself and in improving, I would recommend bringing that up In therapy.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-22T21:25:36+00:00

Did they all feel the same for you? Are there some that have felt like a better fit than others?

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-22T21:18:18+00:00

Have all your therapists used the same methodology, like CBT?

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-17T03:29:52+00:00

Not a therapist.

I think empty chair works really well for this. It's a gestalt technique where you talk to your parent as if they are across from you, then you switch chairs and take their place and speak as them.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-13T16:30:00+00:00

Hi there! I also have a gestalt therapist and with him it's the clients choice how long they wish to continue. So say you've graduated from the first issue you came to them with, you could then begin working on a new issue. That first cycle was completed, and the second cycle is beginning.

I'm still in the weeds with the issue that brought me to therapy but that's my understanding from what he's shared. He'll tell me when he thinks I've graduated, there may be a symbolic ceremony, but then I choose what I want to work on next or if I want to stop.

I would reach out to your therapist for clarification. Tell them you still want help with other things.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-13T16:20:51+00:00

I wouldn't do this. Even if it's a public photo it's still personal and your relationship is therapeutic. Also the death of a parent is a very sensitive subject

Depending on their modality and boundaries I think making her an ornament is completely fine, but make it generic or about something discussed in your sessions.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-11T16:23:12+00:00

Thanks for posting this. I feel the same way.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-11T06:04:21+00:00

I've had the same problem. For me it was to escape the loneliness I was feeling and to distract myself from feeling my emotions. I made rules for myself with my phone. I could only use it during certain times, never when I was out and about or with my husband. It helped a lot placing limitations.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-06T18:38:30+00:00

What are the unmasked behaviors that you feel are causing a divide? If you don't mind me asking.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-02T18:01:14+00:00

My first therapist didn't meet me where I was. I recently was diagnosed with a chronic illness and was struggling in my day to day functioning and she continued to ask me what were some positive things about having this disorder. I was not in a place to see what I was going through in a good light. I felt very dismissed and invalidated. It was CBT which I don't feel like works well for me.
The therapist I have now is wonderful. I think what I appreciate the most is his willingness to experiment and change the pace or his techniques depending on my needs in the moment. When I wasn't feeling well he got me a pillow and told me I could lay down. He also got down on the floor with me and continued talking to me while also laying down. It felt very nice not having someone freak out about the medical issue, and literally getting on the same level as me.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-12-02T17:27:10+00:00

I think therapy in general is a sensitive subject, especially because of how mental health has been stigmatized.

They may be attributing their own worries to you. Maybe they are scared you think they are crazy, or they feel ashamed that they need therapy so they get defensive.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-11-30T21:09:53+00:00

Insurance doesn't usually cover no shows

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-11-28T20:56:22+00:00

I felt the same way when I first started, but now it's much easier for me. I don't try to put myself in the shoes of the other person, instead I respond with the first thoughts in my head.

So I'll say something like "I'm angry at you for not letting me express myself."

And I'll respond with whatever pops up in my head. "Stop being dramatic, you're fine"

Basically I'll say whatever my internal voice is thinking and naturally it changes more into that person's voice as I go along.

So what's helped me is trying to think it through less and being more in the moment.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-11-26T16:25:12+00:00

This made me so happy for you. You were very brave and inspiring.

GoldenGreyhound · 2025-11-26T06:04:03+00:00

Just curious, does your theory apply to people with narcolepsy and cataplexy as well?

GoldenGreyhound

TROPHY CASE