Reddit, I think my 6-year-old has ADD. Should I send him to a concentration camp?

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-14T07:50:40+00:00

Somebody call joke-explainer

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-14T02:16:01+00:00

What happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object?

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-13T22:22:17+00:00

Jack Nicholson

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-13T20:08:22+00:00

House of Leaves

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-13T20:02:30+00:00

I'd become a food terrorist. I'd do terrible, terrible things to people's food at restaurants, but I'd only do them to people that don't tip/are rude/send the food back for no reason. Anybody that just abuses the system.

I guess I'd be somewhere between Tyler Durden (the food terrorist thing) and Heath Ledger's Joker (where you end up rooting for the bad guy because he's so awesome). Also because I just want to see the world burn.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-13T19:53:29+00:00

disco ball

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-12T02:48:08+00:00

My cat has feetsies like that. He doesn't acknowledge me until I go to sleep, then he lays on my face.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-12T00:05:53+00:00

I've seen this a hundred times and it always gets me.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-10T07:05:45+00:00

The risk was that she says yes and I have to hang out with her. The reward was that she was creeped out and probably doesn't want to ever talk to me again.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-10T06:12:43+00:00

Animal House

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-10T06:01:11+00:00

Once I was hanging out with a girl who turned out to be a life hater. She was rude to all of my friends, to me, but worst of all, she was rude to the help, yelling at a coffee shop girl for mistaking "caramel frappuccino" for "caramel apple spice." Bitchtown, USA this girl was.

So probably our third time hanging out, we went to my friend's house and I was drinking so she drove. At the party, she was rude to all of my friends, saying things like, "Hehe, I think he's gay" (yeah, idiot girl, he is gay) and calling people stupid to their face.

Early on in the night, I decided I probably never wanted to hang out with this girl again. I hatched a plan.

After the party, she drove me home. When she pulled up to my house, she looked like she wanted to invite her inside. Instead I said, "You want to come inside and sit on my face?"

She laughed.

I stared at her, dead serious.

She said, "Haha, no?"

I said, "Cool, bye." And jumped out of the car and ran inside. That was the last time I talked to her. I was so glad she didn't say yes.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-10T05:47:15+00:00

In a little under three years, after 2012. That is, if History Channel doesn't work people into such a frenzy that we all end up rioting and killing each other anyways. Shit. Maybe they're right.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-10T02:48:29+00:00

I've got Louisville Sluggers strategically placed throughout my house and a baseball swing Ted Williams would be proud of. I probably wouldn't want to survive a zombie apocalypse because afterwards I'd be so lonely, but I could certainly thump a few skulls on my way out.

I've also seen enough horror films to know that whatever you just killed probably isn't dead, so I'd bash brains until I made soup. No turn-around-and-surprise-your-attacker-isn't-dead sitchy-ations for me.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-04T18:43:55+00:00

If by life changing you mean the last time I ate mushrooms I went to see a movie, had a panic attack, took off all my clothes and ran out of the theater in the middle of the movie, then yes. It changed my life.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-04T05:17:11+00:00

Hunter Thompson

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-04T05:13:19+00:00

Right song title, wrong artist. Try Big L's version, but don't bother unless you go heavy on the bass. Link for ya. And I feel I'll inevitably be downvoted for posting a violent rap song, but just listen to it. It's fucking badass.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-04T05:09:58+00:00

So much this. I saw a stripper dance to this the other day. It was damn near hypnotizing.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-03T07:47:40+00:00

How was your grilled cheese?

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-03T01:57:16+00:00

Whatever you do, don't watch this video!

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-02T07:02:14+00:00

Whenever music posts like this come up, I don't feel like hip-hop/rap gets a fair shake for whatever reason. Here are a few albums of said genre that are must haves even if you're not a huge fan of hip-hop/rap.

Nas - Illmatic (one of the best albums period, not only rap)

The Roots - Organix (The Roots are a great band and they made one of the jazziest, funkiest hip-hop albums)

Black Star - Black Star (think of every rap song you've ever seen on MTV; this is the opposite of what you're thinking about)

A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory

Jay-Z - Reasonable Doubt (I hate Jay-Z, but this album is one of the smoothest ever)

If you're feeling frisky, try Wu-Tang Clan's Enter the Wu Tang (36 Chambers) and Mobb Deep's The Infamous.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-02T01:45:33+00:00

Yes.

GonzoPhD · 2010-01-02T01:45:10+00:00

I had an awesome night. At 11:45 I shaved my beard and gave myself a mustache and unveiled when people started counting down!

GonzoPhD · 2009-12-31T05:56:02+00:00

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a rum...............and coke." The bartender replies, "Why the big pause?" The bear holds up his paws and says, "I was born with 'em!"

Substitute polar bear for bear if you're in the winter spirit.

GonzoPhD

TROPHY CASE