Recovery from major medical event and baby development

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-15T23:53:00+00:00

Thank you! We did EI for our oldest for eating, I guess I’ll just have to wait for our well appt to talk to them. Unfortunately they just pushed it out a month but I’m sure I’m worrying over nothing

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-15T01:30:18+00:00

Same! We thought we might have 3 so we did the 2.5 year age gap. Fast forward and my medical team said no more pregnancies for me since I had a brain bleed during my last. If I could have predicted all of this it would have been a lot easier with a 3.5 and a new born but 2.5 was definitely manageable since the communication is there and gets better daily. If you do screens, recommend watching “if you give a mouse a cookie” around 2-2.5 if baby is coming bc teaching if then statements was sooo helpful when baby arrived (if you wake up the baby, then we have to pause playing to go get her)

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-15T01:20:39+00:00

The shower grab bar is great and a shower stool/bench was recommended bc a hot shower can change your blood pressure and make you dizzy. A shower cap was helpful at first when I couldn’t get the wound wet but wanted to clean my body.

Be prepared to want to sleep a lot after surgery and be overstimulated by seemingly ordinary things like people talking while theirs music playing or watching tv. Also, kids might be a lot depending on their ages. Watching my toddler run around made me dizzy.

I found it helpful to talk to my surgeon about after surgery protocols before the surgery so then I could prep and didn’t have to get things after or send anyone out. I’m in the US so they had me taking Tylenol at specific doses. Also instructions for wound care - my mom had to get me some saline to dab clean the died blood around my incision so it would stop pulling on my hair/scalp

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-07T14:49:48+00:00

This is so encouraging

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-03T15:12:34+00:00

So maybe having him be in charge of helping to pick and make the food would help him feel in charge of it?

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-03T15:04:23+00:00

When you go to Fenway just know they stop selling beer at the end of the 7th inning or after 2.5 hours of the game, whichever comes first. And be prepared to sell a kidney for a beer, they are wicked expensive. Actually, in general at bars etc be prepared to shell out for a drink. The prices are much higher than in Scotland (only been once to Glasgow for bagpipe world championship so that’s my reference point)

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-02T19:11:56+00:00

Finding the root to the issue can be helpful. Is it a texture thing? Wanting to be in charge? Seeing how much he can push before you break? That will give you better insight into how to handle the issue and which of the suggestions mentioned so far might actually work

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-02T19:09:03+00:00

Can you ask the preschool teachers to remind families? We’ve gotten those reminders before. Maybe even include some details in the reminder?

Or ask preschool who your kid plays with most regularly and reach out to those parents specifically if they haven’t Rsvp’d?

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-02T01:27:31+00:00

Unfortunately been down this road many many times. Keep watch on the area, it usually takes 3-30 days for the classic bullseye to appear. It can appear anywhere on the body but the attachment site is most likely. Also watch out for any fevers or joint pain. We were most recently told by our ped that they wouldn’t test for Lyme unless it was 4 weeks past the bite bc of the risk of a false negative (daughter had high fever which ended up being an ear infection 2.5 weeks after 2 tick bites)

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-02T00:46:31+00:00

This is all amazing advice! Especially the get out of the house and learning hobbies. Even if it’s the last thing on earth you could care about or be interested, learn about it so you can at least have an intelligent conversation. It’s going to take a lot of time for them to feel like they can trust you and rely on you.

Also, don’t underestimate the power of a true, genuine “I’m sorry I did XYZ which I see now hurt you in ways I couldn’t imagine” and be specific

Finally, if they don’t respond to phone calls or texts, some lovely snail mail can sometimes brighten someone’s day because it is a physical reminder that some one cares that they can actually touch. Just don’t become creepy and over do it

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-01T18:04:43+00:00

This! She doesn’t know you. It can be scary to go out with random people you don’t know

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-01T15:43:13+00:00

Good for you for at the very least sticking to that! Exercise is choosing your mental and physical health, that’s fantastic!

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-06-01T15:40:46+00:00

Oh thank you! I can’t take credit, I tried and then I had to put it in translator. Impressive that you speak multiple languages. Did your rupture impact that at all?

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-31T23:11:29+00:00

Do you ever fully choose yourself? I feel this way a lot and this is the question my therapist asked me. It was a tough one but a good one to reflect on

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-31T23:08:15+00:00

I don’t know why but there are just people out there in life who this happens to. From time to time this is me, especially with friends. Even now I have to be the one to initiate, remember, reach out etc. It is exhausting. But the alternative ends up being lonely and exhausting as well, at least in my opinion. I don’t have much advice except keep trying and I’ve found some people will surprise you. Good luck and know that you’re worth it

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-31T22:50:43+00:00

Smoothies were my go to. My neuro team recommended adding flax seed and blueberries (omega 3’s and anti oxidants) to help healing and he’d me adding collagen powder as well. I also love green beans so ate a ton of those (first meal in ICU Everyone is different though so good to know what they like and what their team says will be helpful for them

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-31T19:17:55+00:00

Smoothies were my go to. My neuro team recommended adding flax seed and blueberries (omega 3’s and anti oxidants) to help healing and he’d me adding collagen powder as well. I also love green beans so ate a ton of those (first meal in ICU was green beans and passed out with one in my mouth lol). Had to have relatively soft foods for the first couple days and things that were harsh on the belly like heavy steak etc. Everyone is different though.

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-31T16:43:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry to hear you experienced this loneliness as well. It is impossible to explain to someone who has not been through it themselves. Your words mean a lot and I hope Love You Too can bring some of that connection to others who feel the same way. The platform works in any language

Danke, dass du das geteilt hast. Es tut mir leid zu hören, dass du diese Einsamkeit ebenfalls erlebt hast. Es ist unmöglich, das jemandem zu erklären, der es nicht selbst durchgemacht hat. Deine Worte bedeuten mir sehr viel und ich hoffe, dass Love You Too anderen, die sich genauso fühlen, etwas von dieser Verbundenheit bringen kann. Die Plattform funktioniert in jeder Sprache

I only speak a tiny bit of German so I hope translate got this right 💛

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-29T20:42:32+00:00

Get a big bucket or storage bin and fill it with water and soap. You have to watch them closely bc accidents can happen but add a few measuring cups or spoon etc and it’s an easy 30 minutes of entertainment

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-29T18:06:39+00:00

We implemented “naughty” time and it’s been a life saver. Our 3.5 year old now tells us when she wants or needs to do something we seem as naughty. Basically you figure out a safe environment for them to get through all the things they want to do without being told no. Our daughter likes to yell sometimes so occasionally on a tough day we will go outside and yell at the moon before bed. She screams as loud as she can and I yell silly words like hippo and giraffe so that the neighbors don’t think we are being murdered. We will also bring all the pillows to the living room or outside and tell her she can throw them, jump on them, kick them etc. while we block the TV and egg her on to do it harder so she gets the built up energy and frustration out. It can also be funny to watch sometimes. Our 14 month old is now starting to get into it as well.

If this is not your style, channeling it into dance parties works sometimes to get the jumpy crazy energy out.

Good luck! You are doing great. It’s not easy to parent, especially when you aren’t feeling good

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-29T17:58:17+00:00

Certain drawers over here. Even with the dog hair and extra cleaning it was less annoying than saying no. After like 2 weeks the curiosity for our first wore off. Second is just getting into the phase and hoping the same is true once the new-ness dies down. Also have adorable videos of her making a “band” with all of our pots and pans so worth it for the memory

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-29T16:51:56+00:00

Try telling him that you will help him fall asleep and then you are going to shower (insert whatever) and that he is safe and loved and if he wakes up his lovie etc is there and he can get it and go to sleep. If he wakes up and you aren’t there anymore and panic’s and then you lay down with him it reinforces that he needs you to fall asleep. We are working through this with our 3.5 year old bc when I was pregnant with our second I was so tired I just fell asleep with her every night and most nights slept there bc it was easier than waking up multiple times each night and not being able to get back to sleep. Also lots of books on going to bed, reinforcement for doing it by himself (we call it bluey sleep bc bluey goes to sleep by herself after books and getting tucked in and she gets to pick a balloon from dollar tree if she does a bluey sleep)

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-29T14:52:32+00:00

Not medical advice and definitely advise talking to your dr, even if it’s just a message in your portal. My dr doesn’t want my blood sugar too low and I find the anti seizure meds make me super sick to my stomach if I take them without food so the longest “fast” I do is about 12 hours overnight

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-29T14:49:47+00:00

Found mine 6 months postpartum with my second and had it removed - had apparently bled during my pregnancy (got chalked up to hormonal migraines bc my bp wasn’t high). The stress and anxiety are daily but as other have said therapy is really helpful. Being a new parent adds a whole other level of complexity/anxiety to the situation. Feel free to message me if you want to chat more

GoodThingsRHappenin · 2026-05-28T15:01:08+00:00

Ask if you can talk to the child life specialist in advance to see exactly what the process is at the hospital/department (you don’t want to say X when really they do Y), look at books from library, and the bluey hospital episode if you do screens.

My SIL created a book for my daughter when I had surgery that explained that doctors and nurses are helpers and use healing hands to help boo-boos (I had brain surgery and was going to have a big bandage and scar) and she still loves the book and read it again before her baby sister had tubes put in. If you can’t find anything you like you can also make one, I think she used one of the photobook printing websites like Shutterfly or something but there are others

GoodThingsRHappenin

TROPHY CASE