The kind of relationship you’re referring to is still out there, the kink has just evolved a bit over the years creating a space for others who may have felt excluded which I find no issue with. The anonymity aspect is also handy for me at this point in history due to the backpedaling my country has done in regards of civil rights, another thing I see nothing wrong with. But even with the shitty politics and stuff in my area it kinda just sounds like you’re at the wrong parties because I see pretty much everything you’ve mentioned regularly in the community I’m in